<![CDATA[I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it]]>I am a guy who moved to a western country a few years ago. I am a vegan, atheist, antinatalist on top of already being an introvert, a privacy enthusiast, and a person from the other end of the world.

I find it extremely hard to find anyone. I literally haven’t been on any dates in, like, 6 years now. I have zero success on dating sites because:

  1. Most of my values are so extreme to people that they would not want to swipe right on me
  2. This seems to reinforce the algorithms on the sites, and they score me further lower. When requested data from Bumble, I found out that I swipe right on ~3% on the profiles, Bumble only shows my profile to what amounts to 30% of that 3%, and I am swiped right by only ~1.5% of that.
  3. I have been blocked a few times before because of stupid stuff like absence of Google Play Services, phone numbers from a different country, etc., which I believe further lowers my score. Also, I do not verify myself, so yay.

(In my opinion, I am an average looking guy, and my photos are okay, so I do not think the photos are the problem)

Between work, a couple of hobbies, gym and recovering from work, I get no time to meet with people in person. Even if I wanted to, there aren’t many common places to meet with new people. I miss when we were young, and could casually make friends in school without even trying.

Some days, I just want to remove all those “filters”, but then I cannot explain the removal logically/philosophically. I wish I could have lived my life in blissful ignorance of everything.

May be I am doing adulting and everything related horribly wrong. But regardless, I just wanted to vent and get it out.

Note: I know that there are people who do not agree with my values. I would be happy to discuss them (not sure if this thread is appropriate for that though), but I would appreciate if you would not outright dismiss them.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/topic/56e86a0e-9f58-454f-a640-87807462a7cf/i-feel-like-an-undateable-bingo-card-and-i-hate-myself-and-the-world-for-itRSS for NodeFri, 14 Aug 2026 19:09:56 GMTMon, 27 Jul 2026 15:33:01 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it on Mon, 27 Jul 2026 19:57:39 GMT]]>You mention some stuff that I assume that you put on your dating profile, I’ll go through it here:

I am a vegan

Really only relevant if you’re going out to eat or if a non-vegan date is an absolute deal-breaker.

atheist

No one cares. Don’t make it your personality.

antinatalist

Not relevant until you’ve been in a relationsship for a long time. Also, not a word that everyone will understand.

an introvert

It used to be cute that people would mention their Myers-Briggs personality, but I honestly find it cringe. Use sentences to describe your personality instead. Would you rather get drunk and go to a death metal show or stay home, bake a cake and watch Netflix?

a privacy enthusiast

Not a bad thing, but no one cares.

a person from the other end of the world

Some people might find that interesting.

I realize that some of my comments sound harsh, but I’m not trying to put you down.

You mention some hobbies but no details. Those are actually the positives that you want to mention, rather than all the negatives that you listed.

Also keep in mind that it is very unlikely that the first person you date will be the right one, it is a numbers game. And when you actually do meet the right one, they will almost never fit the template that you expected. Don’t try to narrow down the matches too much.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://feddit.dk/comment/21576906https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://feddit.dk/comment/21576906Mon, 27 Jul 2026 19:57:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it on Mon, 27 Jul 2026 16:10:18 GMT]]>Because I did not want to mislead them. I thought being frank would get me better quality matches, who are more aligned with me. But, to be honest, I don’t really know what the best thing to do is given the algorithm is proprietary. May be I should just remove them in just for better scores, and then handle it in the chat if I get a match.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lemmy.world/comment/24982348https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lemmy.world/comment/24982348Mon, 27 Jul 2026 16:10:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it on Mon, 27 Jul 2026 15:48:12 GMT]]>Why do you mention your “extreme values” on your dating profile when you suspect that you are sabotaging yourself by doing so?

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://feddit.dk/comment/21572922https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://feddit.dk/comment/21572922Mon, 27 Jul 2026 15:48:12 GMT