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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • ? Offline
    ? Offline
    Gæst
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #1

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    agowa338@chaos.socialA moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM heinragas@mublog.nlH rockmastermike@beige.partyR benh@mastodon.scotB 17 Replies Last reply
    2
    0
    • ? Gæst

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      agowa338@chaos.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #2

      @Buster

      Heals people => penicillin

      Oh my, that explains everything!

      Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

      Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

      msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • ? Gæst

        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

        Turns water into wine
        Floats on water
        Makes bread for 5000 people
        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

        moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
        moses_izumi@fe.disroot.orgM This user is from outside of this forum
        moses_izumi@fe.disroot.org
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #3
        >Jesus was actually a form of yeast
        If my yeast was a master of parables I'd dedicate my life to it as well.

        RE: https://woof.group/@Buster/116096848875159934
        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • ? Gæst

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          heinragas@mublog.nlH This user is from outside of this forum
          heinragas@mublog.nlH This user is from outside of this forum
          heinragas@mublog.nl
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #4

          @Buster @MxAlba That would make the transubstantiation not even a miracle -- you could make hosts of Jesus' _actual_ body.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • ? Gæst

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            rockmastermike@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
            rockmastermike@beige.partyR This user is from outside of this forum
            rockmastermike@beige.party
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #5

            @Buster "drink my blood" = wine. "Eat of my body" = bread

            it all fits

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • ? Gæst

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              benh@mastodon.scotB This user is from outside of this forum
              benh@mastodon.scotB This user is from outside of this forum
              benh@mastodon.scot
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #6

              @Buster

              I always interpreted the

              > Feeding of the 5,000

              as meaning that the food looks unappetising, and everyone pretended to eat it just to be polite.

              my daughter has taught me that you can easily fill 12 baskets with food that has been artfully shredded to create the impression of eating it

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • ? Gæst

                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                Turns water into wine
                Floats on water
                Makes bread for 5000 people
                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                psneeze@mastodon.ie
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #7

                @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL akamran@indieweb.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • ? Gæst

                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                  Turns water into wine
                  Floats on water
                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                  lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lasse@social.tchncs.de
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #8

                  @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

                    @Buster

                    Heals people => penicillin

                    Oh my, that explains everything!

                    Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

                    Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                    msbellows@c.im
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #9

                    @agowa338 @Buster
                    The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                    “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                    "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                    agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                      @agowa338 @Buster
                      The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                      “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                      "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                      agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                      agowa338@chaos.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #10

                      @msbellows @Buster

                      Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

                      * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

                      Christianity is just a big cooking club.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • ? Gæst

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                        cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
                        cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #11

                        @Buster

                        Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

                        [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • ? Gæst

                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                          Turns water into wine
                          Floats on water
                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                          lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                          lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                          lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #12

                          @Buster

                          MIND

                          BLOWN

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                            @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                            lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #13

                            Oh Jesus!

                            @psneeze @Buster

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • ? Gæst

                              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                              Turns water into wine
                              Floats on water
                              Makes bread for 5000 people
                              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                              bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                              bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                              bololacertus@mstdn.mx
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #14

                              @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • ? Gæst

                                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                Turns water into wine
                                Floats on water
                                Makes bread for 5000 people
                                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                nigenet@mastodon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #15

                                @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                                ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • ? Gæst

                                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                  Turns water into wine
                                  Floats on water
                                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                  yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                                  yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                                  yuvalne@433.world
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #16

                                  @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                                  celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • ? Gæst

                                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                    Turns water into wine
                                    Floats on water
                                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                    jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jasper@mastodon.nl
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #17

                                    @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                                      @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                                      celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      celesteh@hachyderm.io
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #18

                                      @Yuvalne @Buster

                                      This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                        @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                                        akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        akamran@indieweb.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #19

                                        @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • ? Gæst

                                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                          Turns water into wine
                                          Floats on water
                                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                          amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          amro@todon.nl
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #20

                                          @Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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