<![CDATA[We hear about competition all day long.]]>We hear about competition all day long. Win goals, win games, win business, win against the other applicant, win against the other team.

I've been in a lot of workplaces where the dominant messaging about how we should all act was that competition is what delivers the sharpest knowledge work, and I'd bet a lot of you have heard this too.

But the science of group problem-solving tells a different story

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/topic/d045b352-c9b1-42cf-a3e3-c81b1877812d/we-hear-about-competition-all-day-long.RSS for NodeSat, 20 Jun 2026 11:59:52 GMTSun, 14 Jun 2026 15:30:07 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Mon, 15 Jun 2026 18:14:58 GMT]]>@grimalkina this explains so much about corporate cultures all over the tech world!

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mas.to/users/discobeez/statuses/116755483726671439https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mas.to/users/discobeez/statuses/116755483726671439Mon, 15 Jun 2026 18:14:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Mon, 15 Jun 2026 06:33:58 GMT]]>@grimalkina Ok this is an amazing-ass thread and there are a thousand foreheads I'd gladly see it stapled to. Do you have it in blog-post form somewhere that I could spread around?

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://furry.engineer/users/balinares/statuses/116752727293808350https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://furry.engineer/users/balinares/statuses/116752727293808350Mon, 15 Jun 2026 06:33:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:53:26 GMT]]>@grimalkina

I try to be a loyal dissenter of sorts within my own political environment

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://todon.nl/users/burnoutqueen/statuses/116751860145809869https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://todon.nl/users/burnoutqueen/statuses/116751860145809869Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:53:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Mon, 15 Jun 2026 00:08:23 GMT]]>@ancoghlan @glyph this is so good

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116751211158165516https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116751211158165516Mon, 15 Jun 2026 00:08:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Mon, 15 Jun 2026 00:05:17 GMT]]>@glyph @grimalkina It prompted me to go back and re-read one of my own pieces of writing that I'm still happy with more than a decade later (which is https://www.curiousefficiency.org/posts/2015/10/languages-to-improve-your-python/)

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/ancoghlan/statuses/116751198970687856https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/ancoghlan/statuses/116751198970687856Mon, 15 Jun 2026 00:05:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 23:26:25 GMT]]>@grimalkina Alvin Toffler wrote about this at length.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://masto.hackers.town/users/drwho/statuses/116751046146416403https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://masto.hackers.town/users/drwho/statuses/116751046146416403Sun, 14 Jun 2026 23:26:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 23:08:49 GMT]]>@grimalkina I am in this picture and for once I *do* like it

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/glyph/statuses/116750976900860726https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/glyph/statuses/116750976900860726Sun, 14 Jun 2026 23:08:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 22:23:06 GMT]]>@grimalkina On the "not monolithic" front, https://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2939 remains one of the more insightful things I have ever read on the internet (in both the "via" and "about" senses)

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/ancoghlan/statuses/116750797137246003https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/ancoghlan/statuses/116750797137246003Sun, 14 Jun 2026 22:23:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:19:18 GMT]]>@sondra @grimalkina This is why I love Mastodon. Me, just some random person, can get into random conversations with the coolest people and quote George Carlin and get back actual scientific references on women in the business world. How cool is that!

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750074396299019https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750074396299019Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:19:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:15:36 GMT]]>@sondra @grimalkina And like, it makes good business sense too from where I'm standing. If the other parties at the table come away genuinely liking your deal, that builds stronger business ties in the human sense not just the financial sense, which means extending that deal or opening up new negotiations with that partner is likely to also benefit everyone, no? A good negotiator knows you keep everyone happy. Which is why political negotiation is so freaking hard, because everyone can't be happy.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750059839752615https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750059839752615Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:15:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:11:54 GMT]]>@sondra @grimalkina Makes perfect sense to me even though I can't actually read the papers. Ties back to that empathy thing she was talking about. If you empathize with the fact that you're negotiating a deal for *both sides* to benefit, don't you use that empathy to arrive at a deal that both sides truly benefit from?

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750045302859832https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750045302859832Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:11:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:10:36 GMT]]>@grimalkina @x0 everyone pretends to be shocked

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/ap/users/116502095953138777/statuses/116750040195386600https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/ap/users/116502095953138777/statuses/116750040195386600Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:10:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:08:34 GMT]]>@grimalkina @sondra I mean, somebody's got to. It wasn't like he was talking out of his ass. From what I understand that's his whole point.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750032221122106https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116750032221122106Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:08:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:04:56 GMT]]>@grimalkina This might explain why the founder of aikido explicitly banned competition.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://zeroes.ca/users/harmoniousanger/statuses/116750017934382789https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://zeroes.ca/users/harmoniousanger/statuses/116750017934382789Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:04:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 18:59:43 GMT]]>@x0 @sondra not me providing a lit review backup to a Carlin bit, lmfao. This is very on brand

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749997415632864https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749997415632864Sun, 14 Jun 2026 18:59:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 18:59:07 GMT]]>@x0 @sondra

you want to know who comes out of deal negotiations with everyone winning? business WOMEN

Corinne Low's work is a good start on this: https://www.corinnelow.com/research

Men use overly aggressive tactics against male negotiators, leading to worse outcomes for all:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0167268122002645

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749995063041001https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749995063041001Sun, 14 Jun 2026 18:59:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 18:56:47 GMT]]>@grimalkina @sondra What was that George Carlin quote. "Full of bullshit, businessmen. And the proof of it is, they don't even trust each other! When a businessman sits down with another businessman to negotiate a deal, the very first thing he does is assume the other guy is trying to fuck him on the deal. So he has to fuck the other guy a little bit harder and a little bit faster."

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116749985876071641https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://dragonscave.space/users/x0/statuses/116749985876071641Sun, 14 Jun 2026 18:56:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:33:15 GMT]]>@grimalkina can’t wait; I’ve got our library set to order it as soon as it can

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://aoir.social/users/sakhavi/statuses/116749421487874063https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://aoir.social/users/sakhavi/statuses/116749421487874063Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:33:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:18:00 GMT]]>@grimalkina I am still horrified by the disdain many software developers have for the people who use the systems they develop.

Whenever I got to work alongside the people using stuff I had a hand in developing I always learned a lot about both the world the software was used in and how misaligned my notions were with the reality.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mstdn.ca/users/MikeStok/statuses/116749361488579747https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mstdn.ca/users/MikeStok/statuses/116749361488579747Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:18:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:13:14 GMT]]>@grimalkina @sandorspruit I read the loyal dissenter post to my wife because I immediately saw myself in it.

Thank you.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://ngmx.com/users/pathunstrom/statuses/116749342754856497https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://ngmx.com/users/pathunstrom/statuses/116749342754856497Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:13:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:08:41 GMT]]>@grimalkina

I'm actively working to disrupt this behavior with one of the high-performing members of my team. He's great, but falls too easily/regularly into the trap of perceived conflict with partner groups and individual stakeholders.

Just one more reason I'm looking forward to your book. 😎

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://techhub.social/users/SQLAllFather/statuses/116749324901304030https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://techhub.social/users/SQLAllFather/statuses/116749324901304030Sun, 14 Jun 2026 16:08:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 15:53:13 GMT]]>@sondra final boss of competition cultures for sure

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749264089748160https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749264089748160Sun, 14 Jun 2026 15:53:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 15:51:19 GMT]]>@sandorspruit exactly why I thought this was an important one to put in the book. I know y'all are out there 🫶

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749256602177530https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/grimalkina/statuses/116749256602177530Sun, 14 Jun 2026 15:51:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to We hear about competition all day long. on Sun, 14 Jun 2026 15:49:58 GMT]]>@grimalkina “rebel with a cause” - I feel seen 😌

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.nl/users/sandorspruit/statuses/116749251289333046https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.nl/users/sandorspruit/statuses/116749251289333046Sun, 14 Jun 2026 15:49:58 GMT