This is yet another area where I feel like having kids has really been clarifying. We tell our kids, your emotions are your trusted advisors. They tell you very important things about what’s going on and what you need. But you still get to decide what to do. (The “you” remains somewhat vague…)

Anger tells us we’ve been wronged. That’s so important. So what to we do when that’s the case?

And I know it was socialisation because I was a violent child. I just didn't direct it towards living beings. I just fucked up furniture instead.

Now, I fuck up my keyboard and smartphone screen.

I don't drink so y'all have an extra round / shot / beer / etc for me.

The only path forward most days is to weaponize patience. Don't take the doubts personally. Don't worry about the wasted time. If this is how they want to waste their money then great.

I have stories. I'm afraid someone would recognize if I told any of them

What if we said "sensing" instead of "interrogating"?

Not really. For me, it is an internal conversation where I tell myself to slow down and take a second to get my bearings and understand what led me to this thought or action. I can realize that I made a mistake, or that I'm being manipulated. I can see the bigger picture and tell myself what I'm about to do will actually make things worse and make me feel worse. I can convince myself to step back and cool off. I can remember other times when I didn't and times when I did and try to slide toward the one that's a better fit for right now. It's not "rationality" so much as taking a step back, like putting my own calming hand on my shoulder.

Edit: to me, "rational" implies analysis and a single correct action. This is not that. It is an internal conversation.

But again, and I'm not picking on you here, but on us, is "interrogating" the right word? It seems to suggest, again, a self-as-rationalist-thinker idea.

Perhaps the word "mindful" is appropriate? Don't just feel or act but interrogate why you are feeling and acting? You aren't trying to rationalize; you are trying to understand.

I believe it has more to do with the ideal of being "calm", and also "self-forgiving", and also "self-accepting". And yes, emotionally so.

Good on you. I explain to my kids that anyone trying to scare you or make you angry is trying to manipulate you. people are easier to manipulate when they are emotional.

There is so much of that going on in social media. It is also a scam artist technique. We need more literacy about when to step back and ask some questions.

Mmmmm, no. And also yes.

Like, I don't have a destination, but I have a direction.

And it isn't towards more rage, more hatred, or more violence.

I just don't think picking up the enemy's favorite weapon is gonna be the right answer.

But when I woke up this morning, some other person had been sucked in to the thread in attack-dog mode, and they'd said the most rage and hate-filled things to this probable bot.

And I felt bad for him. Not the bot, the person enticed into hatred. I felt bad for the person, cuz it seemed like hatred had won in their case.