<![CDATA[This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...]]>This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select

- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?

I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/topic/d9c989db-cd34-4583-b00b-78ab10a78456/this-bidet-remote-on-the-wall-of-the-house-in-the-woods-i-m-staying-at-has-some-bizarre-controls...RSS for NodeSun, 09 Aug 2026 13:01:04 GMTSat, 08 Aug 2026 16:31:29 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 07:36:54 GMT]]>@MySideIsHumanity
They should make an international bidet symbol set like the laundry symbols

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laundry_symbol
@alice

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://social.data.coop/users/niels/statuses/117064401868137781https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://social.data.coop/users/niels/statuses/117064401868137781Sun, 09 Aug 2026 07:36:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 06:08:09 GMT]]>@benroyce @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice Decades ago, that was the standard in Poland. I don't know if people wanted it—it was just the standard.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://kolektiva.social/users/morton/statuses/117064052886178356https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://kolektiva.social/users/morton/statuses/117064052886178356Sun, 09 Aug 2026 06:08:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 06:05:12 GMT]]>@SleepyCatten
Now I'm very curious 👀
Mind telling me what see the symbols as, please? :3

@alice

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/users/koalou/statuses/117064041251750929https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/users/koalou/statuses/117064041251750929Sun, 09 Aug 2026 06:05:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 04:35:32 GMT]]>@CadeJohnson @eedly @alice my toilet-seat bidet has heated seat and water, and a (very ineffective) dryer. Ahhh… tho sitting on something full of water that’s also plugged into the mains is a little unsettling.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://fouroclockfarms.club/users/david/statuses/117063688712074778https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://fouroclockfarms.club/users/david/statuses/117063688712074778Sun, 09 Aug 2026 04:35:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 03:26:33 GMT]]>@alice

I was at my in-laws' house and also could not find the off button, I was on the bidet like "shit, am I stuck here or do I stand up and have my back hosed down with bidet water?"

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://tech.lgbt/users/eestileib/statuses/117063417405391702https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://tech.lgbt/users/eestileib/statuses/117063417405391702Sun, 09 Aug 2026 03:26:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 02:11:59 GMT]]>@bcasiello @enbypirate @alice

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://sunny.garden/users/dacmot/statuses/117063124197680649https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://sunny.garden/users/dacmot/statuses/117063124197680649Sun, 09 Aug 2026 02:11:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 01:36:48 GMT]]>@david @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake 🤭

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/benroyce/statuses/117062985850022808https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/benroyce/statuses/117062985850022808Sun, 09 Aug 2026 01:36:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 01:35:00 GMT]]>@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://fouroclockfarms.club/users/david/statuses/117062978820113757https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://fouroclockfarms.club/users/david/statuses/117062978820113757Sun, 09 Aug 2026 01:35:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sun, 09 Aug 2026 00:00:48 GMT]]>@alice I guess they just gave up on the description translation. Here’s the original version.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://meowstodon.eu/users/meowki/statuses/117062608371681138https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://meowstodon.eu/users/meowki/statuses/117062608371681138Sun, 09 Aug 2026 00:00:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 23:28:23 GMT]]>@alice World's least-conspicuous off button. Mine's got a big orange (?) button with a black square dot in the middle, under the legend 止.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://ieji.de/users/oheso/statuses/117062480890800211https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://ieji.de/users/oheso/statuses/117062480890800211Sat, 08 Aug 2026 23:28:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 23:22:10 GMT]]>@petrillic @paul_ipv6 @alice Yeah, I remember that Akihabara, too. Hardly go there now that it's changed. Not really into maid cafes.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://ieji.de/users/oheso/statuses/117062456469518280https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://ieji.de/users/oheso/statuses/117062456469518280Sat, 08 Aug 2026 23:22:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 23:06:24 GMT]]>@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

You're vacationing in russia? But theirs was mostly wood chips. . .

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/A_Minion/statuses/117062394471457840https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/A_Minion/statuses/117062394471457840Sat, 08 Aug 2026 23:06:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:50:29 GMT]]>@macacator I never thought I'd be disappointed in a brain-worm's performance, but that's the timeline we live in now.

@benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/users/alice/statuses/117062331888331624https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/users/alice/statuses/117062331888331624Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:50:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:49:44 GMT]]>@AnachronistJohn @alice @nina_kali_nina now playing: "i took a shit in ibiza, to show Avicii i was cool [...]"

also, compilation of My Little Pony where it's just them saying fluttershy but shy get's replaced with shit.

also on the menu: perfectly cut fart sounds with grand canyon reverb effect

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://norden.social/users/CIMB4/statuses/117062328928871743https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://norden.social/users/CIMB4/statuses/117062328928871743Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:49:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:48:09 GMT]]>@macacator I am both fascinated and traumatized by this new knowledge.

@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/users/alice/statuses/117062322723367639https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://lgbtqia.space/users/alice/statuses/117062322723367639Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:48:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:45:38 GMT]]>@macacator @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice 😂

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/benroyce/statuses/117062312797191175https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/benroyce/statuses/117062312797191175Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:45:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:43:44 GMT]]>@MrBirch @ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice

good point

the plumbing seems relatively straightfoward. but the electric work is a next level

well, a shot of cold water up the bum would do wonders to wake you up in the morning

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/benroyce/statuses/117062305353783959https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/benroyce/statuses/117062305353783959Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:43:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:37:03 GMT]]>@benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice it's a luxury I want but can't afford because a white man with brain worms laid us all off. Like, just looked at that machine running fine and shit himself from all the impotent rage in his heart and said: "not on my watch. "

All I have left are dreams of getting my hairy ass washed after dropping off the browns to the spooper bowl.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/macacator/statuses/117062279088048666https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/macacator/statuses/117062279088048666Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:37:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:34:54 GMT]]>@benroyce @ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice
The best bidets need electrical power, for example to heat the water and to air dry. That’s the challenge for broad use, as most houses won’t have power outlets near a toilet.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://beige.party/users/MrBirch/statuses/117062270575986260https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://beige.party/users/MrBirch/statuses/117062270575986260Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:34:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:33:47 GMT]]>@Sassinake @alice
This one is fifty loonies. It doesn't heat the water or noth'n, but it's a start and you can take it with you when you move.

https://www.amazon.ca/PIKETS-butt-fountain/dp/B09QPDWXWC?affiliate_id=nah+this+is+fedi+lmao

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://hachyderm.io/users/EndlessMason/statuses/117062266228435202https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://hachyderm.io/users/EndlessMason/statuses/117062266228435202Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:33:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:33:41 GMT]]>@alice @suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake sometimes, when you ate one too many potatoes, your body will churn out a recycled burrito the size of a Sam's club sausage. You look at it in its unbroken abomination and wonder how you're going to flush that bad boy.

/the poop knife has entered the chat

You grab that knife, reach on down there and turn that sausage log into a sushi roll with a few swift chops. Now you can safely flush using that bucket you poured earlier.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/macacator/statuses/117062265844622834https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.social/users/macacator/statuses/117062265844622834Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:33:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:30:45 GMT]]>@alice That is a nice simple control panel you have there. First trip to Tokyo, there were 3 control panels, it felt like piloting a 747...
Took a couple of days to work out all the options.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.green/users/IncHulk/statuses/117062254324714283https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mastodon.green/users/IncHulk/statuses/117062254324714283Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:30:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:26:36 GMT]]>…at my times we had only three shells …!

@alice

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://chaos.social/users/Kowalski/statuses/117062238001187421https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://chaos.social/users/Kowalski/statuses/117062238001187421Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:26:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls... on Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:23:23 GMT]]>@alice Thank you for turning this example of "universally-understandable iconography that averts language issues" into such a fun post! 😄 😌

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://myprivate.social/ap/users/116472185607801093/statuses/117062225318453361https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://myprivate.social/ap/users/116472185607801093/statuses/117062225318453361Sat, 08 Aug 2026 22:23:23 GMT