<![CDATA[Something I’ve learned about grief: people want to help, and sometimes that becomes advice about what you should do — cherish the memories, feel it, remember the good times, talk about it, don’t avoid it.]]>Something I’ve learned about grief: people want to help, and sometimes that becomes advice about what you should do — cherish the memories, feel it, remember the good times, talk about it, don’t avoid it.

Most of it is said with love. But only the person grieving knows what they can handle right now.

Not going deeply into a memory isn’t always avoidance. Sometimes you can only let the hardest things back in a little at a time. A memory that may someday bring comfort can still be too painful today.

I’ve faced more this past year than most know. I’ve returned to places I dreaded and walked into rooms I wasn’t sure I could enter again. I did it. But I’ve learned to trust myself to know what I’m ready for and when.

Grief doesn’t need instructions. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can say is, “I’m here. I’m listening.”

Maybe someday the painful memories will be ones I can cherish again. I’m just not going to force myself there before I’m ready.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/topic/da6a47d2-c7ce-4b38-970a-250f3de6d31f/something-i-ve-learned-about-grief-people-want-to-help-and-sometimes-that-becomes-advice-about-what-you-should-do-cherish-the-memories-feel-it-remember-the-good-times-talk-about-it-don-t-avoid-it.RSS for NodeSun, 04 Oct 2026 23:17:58 GMTMon, 14 Sep 2026 18:43:40 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Something I’ve learned about grief: people want to help, and sometimes that becomes advice about what you should do — cherish the memories, feel it, remember the good times, talk about it, don’t avoid it. on Sat, 26 Sep 2026 04:11:06 GMT]]>@BeautifulSunPhotography Grief is entirely personal. The only useful advice I've had was a generic "don't feel guilty" from my Step-Mum (who was ex- military police-turned social worker before retirement). I now use it too.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://infosec.exchange/users/davep/statuses/117335383531336048https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://infosec.exchange/users/davep/statuses/117335383531336048Sat, 26 Sep 2026 04:11:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Something I’ve learned about grief: people want to help, and sometimes that becomes advice about what you should do — cherish the memories, feel it, remember the good times, talk about it, don’t avoid it. on Sat, 26 Sep 2026 03:19:52 GMT]]>@superball that sounds like good training. To hear and understand that concept. I would have found it difficult to be a hospice volunteer.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://sfba.social/users/BeautifulSunPhotography/statuses/117335182044659507https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://sfba.social/users/BeautifulSunPhotography/statuses/117335182044659507Sat, 26 Sep 2026 03:19:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Something I’ve learned about grief: people want to help, and sometimes that becomes advice about what you should do — cherish the memories, feel it, remember the good times, talk about it, don’t avoid it. on Sat, 26 Sep 2026 03:17:00 GMT]]>@BeautifulSunPhotography
So well put, Deb. I was a hospice volunteer for a little while, and one thing the instructor taught was that grief can look all kinds of ways. Basically there’s no wrong way to grieve (barring active harm to oneself or others).

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://norcal.social/users/superball/statuses/117335170780191642https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://norcal.social/users/superball/statuses/117335170780191642Sat, 26 Sep 2026 03:17:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Something I’ve learned about grief: people want to help, and sometimes that becomes advice about what you should do — cherish the memories, feel it, remember the good times, talk about it, don’t avoid it. on Tue, 15 Sep 2026 01:11:22 GMT]]>@marynelson8 thank you so much for your kind words. And I’m sorry for your losses. Losing multiple people in our lives in a short period of time, doesn’t automatically mean we grieve them in the same way. It’s a hard concept for others to understand if they haven’t experienced anything like it. Thank you again.

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://sfba.social/users/BeautifulSunPhotography/statuses/117272391373443102https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://sfba.social/users/BeautifulSunPhotography/statuses/117272391373443102Tue, 15 Sep 2026 01:11:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Something I’ve learned about grief: people want to help, and sometimes that becomes advice about what you should do — cherish the memories, feel it, remember the good times, talk about it, don’t avoid it. on Mon, 14 Sep 2026 19:37:23 GMT]]>@BeautifulSunPhotography So sorry for your loss. I know what you mean, having lost several beloved family members. Others simply wish to help, while at the same time feeling somewhat helpless. We all grieve in individual ways, and sometimes what we need isn't what others have to offer or what we can manage at the time.

Sending you {hugs} from afar. 🤗

]]>https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mstdn.social/users/marynelson8/statuses/117271078075287693https://forum.fedi.dk/post/https://mstdn.social/users/marynelson8/statuses/117271078075287693Mon, 14 Sep 2026 19:37:23 GMT