I'm beginning to think I might be kinda gay.

The next most common question I get is "how do I get started?"

So...

https://www.redteamtools.com/learn-about-lockpicking-kit/

At about $125, it's a solid kit with everything you need to go from absolute beginner to moderately skilled picker (you'll want to acquire more locks eventually, but those'll cover you for a while).

The book, written by my friend, and all around great guy, @deviantollam is really good. There are a few typos in the foreword, but all the info, diagrams, explanations, and topics covered are excellent. Highly recommend.

Also, if you happen to be in or around the Seattle area and want hands-on with me, I'd be happy to teach you. Just reach out to me on Signal and we'll find a time

#LearnLockpicking

Since I get asked a lot about how I got into lockpicking, I figured I'd make a big ol' post about it.

Well, I have the nerdiest backstory for this skill.
So without further ado...

First, the setup:

I helped make 5th Ed. D&D.
I regularly played in a campaign with friends.
I often played some sort of lovable rogue.
I also roll natural 1s *way* too often.
This became a running joke in-game.

Next, the inciting event:

One day, after rolling a natural 1 and failing to pick a lock on a chest, setting off a trap, and then getting taken to death's door by said trap, I decided I was going to figure out how hard it would be to do IRL (with modern locks and homemade tools, which I figured would be *way* more difficult than medieval locks).

So, after game, I drove home, grabbed my kid, and said we're going to the hardware store for SCIENCE!

Now, somewhere in the back of my head was the notion that street sweeper bristles were suitable for making lockpicks (probably from reading the Anarchist's Cookbook, Poor Man's James Bond, or something like that as a little kid). So we looked in the gutters along our walk to the hardware store and managed to find two bristles by the time we got there. I bought like $50 worth of assorted locks, and we walked home.

Once home, I watched a YouTube video just to see what the tools they were using looked like, and then found a small file and some pliers, and made a simple lockpick and turning tool. Then I set to figuring out what the heck I was doing through trial and error.

By the end of the night, I'd opened all of the locks I bought (at least once), and I had my answer—a professional rogue with decent tools should succeed at picking most common medieval locks about as often as they succeed at tying their shoes.

Unbeknownst to me, I'd rolled my own natural 1 on my save vs. falling down the rabbit hole. So now, a decade later, I've taught at conferences, placed in tournaments, been sponsored by a security company, created (and eventually deleted) my own locksport YouTube channel, and have hundreds of locks in my bedroom. Over the years, I branched out to all sorts of locksport-adjacent skills, but picking is still my favorite, and I regularly teach new folx how to pick locks and improvise tools.

So that's it. That's how being a total nerd led me to discover what turned out to be one of my biggest passions in life—defeating other folx' security for fun.

Pictured: (left) my first turning tool, (right) my first lockpick.

#DnD #DIY #Locksport #OriginStory

I was eating a butter cracker with smoked cheese, avocado, and spicy hummus on it, when the cracker buckled under the weight of the toppings. In a bad Scottish accent I blurted out "she can'na take any more, captain, she's too cheesy!"

And it struck me just how weird it is that in the Star Trek universe, you can just route more power to anything to make it work better. Like try doing that IRL with your toaster or something—it just gets you a melted toaster and a small kitchen fire.

I've been agonizing over posting this for like 46 minutes now. It started as a reply to one of @FinalGirl's posts (as we're mutuals and her posts give me a glimpse into a side of Mastodon that I don't normally get to see).

So, the meat of what I want to say is that I'd love to have more Black folx in my day-to-day life. There's so much shit that I'm just not privy to because my circles are hella white...and that's fucked up.

At least on Fedi I get to hear about some of the issues the Black community faces, but I also feel like I can't do much other than *try* not to be one of the problematic white folx while boosting Black voices into my circles.

Why the agonizing? Because I know about the three types of Queer Ally, and I assume Black folx deal with something similar.

- Type 1 is "okay with you being queer", but will probably vote against you if it lowers the price of eggs.

- Type 2 puts up a "love is love" sign and congratulates themselves on being such a good ally—they might even know some queer folx.

- Type 3 has queer friends and family because it's a normal thing to have, supports them like they would anyone they really cared about, and listens to queer voices in their lives when they say there are problems. They may not always "get it", but they actively try.

The problem is that the ratio of the three is like 100:10:1 (if I'm being *really* generous).

I want to be that third type. I worry that I'm that second type. But I know it's safest for Black folx to assume I'm the first type (or worse) because that's just how the numbers work—especially when the cost of misplaced trust is much higher than the benefit of a potential friend.

Imagine being Trump and waking up every morning knowing you'll have to spend another day making up friends and accomplishments because no decent human being actually likes you or anything you've ever done.

Trump is also a less convincing liar than my dog after he's been eating out of the catbox*.

*my dog I mean. But I don't have any proof that Trump *wasn't* eating out of my catbox, so... ‍️

*gets stepladder*
*slaps hood*
This baby can fit so much overcompensation.