Experience:
- 15 years at Unemployed
- 3 years at Indentured Servitude
- 2 years at Polyamorus (references can be provided)

Marketable skills:
- Vyvanse prescription
- QC Driver's license (only on Tuesdays)
- Vaccinated against rabbies

Personal projects
- Illegal media server
- Dead D&D campaign
- Developed taste in alt music
- PVC clothing

Positions I'm applying for
- Mad scientist
- Human torture nexus engineer
- Pandemic virus designer
- Statistician (trout statistics only)