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  3. Friendly reminder that people living with disabilities do not want to be your inspiration and don’t want to be reminded that we are ‘strong’ or ‘resilient.’

Friendly reminder that people living with disabilities do not want to be your inspiration and don’t want to be reminded that we are ‘strong’ or ‘resilient.’

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  • naga@toot.catN naga@toot.cat

    @britt Did you happen to see my post on family re resilience, um, 5ish hours ago?

    Different reasoning, though also holds from disability: Fuck resilience. How do people get resilient? Trauma. If they're the lucky ones.

    britt@mstdn.gamesB This user is from outside of this forum
    britt@mstdn.gamesB This user is from outside of this forum
    britt@mstdn.games
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #7

    @naga no, I didn’t see it! I’m going to check it out now.

    I made this post because I get it frequently and see disability frequently framed from an ableist lens — that we can frequently internalize without realizing it.

    Agreed. F it.

    naga@toot.catN 1 Reply Last reply
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    • britt@mstdn.gamesB britt@mstdn.games

      @naga no, I didn’t see it! I’m going to check it out now.

      I made this post because I get it frequently and see disability frequently framed from an ableist lens — that we can frequently internalize without realizing it.

      Agreed. F it.

      naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
      naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
      naga@toot.cat
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #8

      @britt https://toot.cat/@naga/116166574633128933

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      • M mitmee_pie@tweesecake.social

        @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt Just my little opinion, but life is too short to get offended by stuff like this. Even if I was inclined to be bothered by this kind of thing, which I'm not, I simply don't see a point in attacking people who usually mean well. If I'm told that I'm an inspiration or whatever, especially when I can tell that whoever is saying it is sincere, I either thank them or say nothing. Then again, political correctness and a lot of other stuff that is talked about in the disability world these days truly doesn't make any sense to me. I just try to get through life the best I can with as little drama, conflict and confrontation as possible.

        robini71@dragonscave.spaceR This user is from outside of this forum
        robini71@dragonscave.spaceR This user is from outside of this forum
        robini71@dragonscave.space
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #9

        @Mitmee_Pie @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 As I said in another thread my perhaps unpopular take is, having grown up near Arian Nation country where people might want you dead based on ethnicity and or disability, I'll take someone thinking I'm inspirational any blessed day. After all I might have already exceeded their expectations of me at that point so it can only go up from there. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. And I speak solely for myself in this regard. I'd ratyher deal with a sighted person who thinks something about me or the way i live is inspirational as opposed to being frowned upon by other blind or low vision people because I haven't climbed one of the world's tallest mountains or the like any day.

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        • M mitmee_pie@tweesecake.social

          @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt Just my little opinion, but life is too short to get offended by stuff like this. Even if I was inclined to be bothered by this kind of thing, which I'm not, I simply don't see a point in attacking people who usually mean well. If I'm told that I'm an inspiration or whatever, especially when I can tell that whoever is saying it is sincere, I either thank them or say nothing. Then again, political correctness and a lot of other stuff that is talked about in the disability world these days truly doesn't make any sense to me. I just try to get through life the best I can with as little drama, conflict and confrontation as possible.

          T This user is from outside of this forum
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          techsinger@tweesecake.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #10

          @Mitmee_Pie @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt Respectfully, I agree. It's just someone saying something, probably because he wants to feel good or make me feel good. It's pure nonsense, of course, but if I were to try to correct any small amount of the nonsense in the world, I would have no time for doing anything else. I disagree that real equality is possible, at least in society, so I don't think this sort of foolishness detracts from anything that is possible, whether now or in the future. If people want to pretend I'm inspirational, let them. No human being can stand very much reality anyway. @vol4life8657

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          • D davidgoldfield@allovertheplace.ca

            @vol4life8657 @britt This is a fair question to ask but I think it can be assumed that most of us with a disability don't feel that being told how inspiring and resilient we are is a compliment. As you say, I shouldn't and can't speak for all of those with a disability and I would be very interested to know if there are more exceptions to this than I might realize.

            T This user is from outside of this forum
            T This user is from outside of this forum
            techsinger@tweesecake.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #11

            @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt It's annoying, frankly, but on the list of annoyances, it's well down in the 3 or four digits. I'm thinking it's 2359th on my list of annoyances. There are far worse things, and it usually comes from someone who is either ignorant or who thinks it's what we want to hear, rather than actively malicious.

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            • T techsinger@tweesecake.social

              @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt It's annoying, frankly, but on the list of annoyances, it's well down in the 3 or four digits. I'm thinking it's 2359th on my list of annoyances. There are far worse things, and it usually comes from someone who is either ignorant or who thinks it's what we want to hear, rather than actively malicious.

              D This user is from outside of this forum
              D This user is from outside of this forum
              davidgoldfield@allovertheplace.ca
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #12

              @techsinger @vol4life8657 @britt I agree that no malice is intended. If I have the time to do it, I tend to turn situations like that into teaching moments by asking them why they feel that way. I mean, since I'm not trying to do anything inspirational I'd at least like to know the reasoning behind their thinking.

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              • M mitmee_pie@tweesecake.social

                @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt Just my little opinion, but life is too short to get offended by stuff like this. Even if I was inclined to be bothered by this kind of thing, which I'm not, I simply don't see a point in attacking people who usually mean well. If I'm told that I'm an inspiration or whatever, especially when I can tell that whoever is saying it is sincere, I either thank them or say nothing. Then again, political correctness and a lot of other stuff that is talked about in the disability world these days truly doesn't make any sense to me. I just try to get through life the best I can with as little drama, conflict and confrontation as possible.

                E This user is from outside of this forum
                E This user is from outside of this forum
                edenlinnea@caneandable.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #13

                @Mitmee_Pie @vol4life8657 @DavidGoldfield @britt I think people mean well. They don't know because they've not been taught that blind people can do a lot of things. Maybe use that chance to educate people on the fact that we are not so different from them. Sheesh. People are too offended these days.

                N 1 Reply Last reply
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                • E edenlinnea@caneandable.social

                  @Mitmee_Pie @vol4life8657 @DavidGoldfield @britt I think people mean well. They don't know because they've not been taught that blind people can do a lot of things. Maybe use that chance to educate people on the fact that we are not so different from them. Sheesh. People are too offended these days.

                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                  nightdrake@dragonscave.space
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #14

                  @EdenLinnea @Mitmee_Pie @vol4life8657 @DavidGoldfield @britt Agreed as far as people being too easily offended. i'll explain things to people when I can. But in most cases I don't get a lot of the frustrating questions. I'd rather be approached and asked something than to be one who bites someone's head off just for being curious. There's too much of that going around these days.

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                  • D davidgoldfield@allovertheplace.ca

                    @techsinger @vol4life8657 @britt I agree that no malice is intended. If I have the time to do it, I tend to turn situations like that into teaching moments by asking them why they feel that way. I mean, since I'm not trying to do anything inspirational I'd at least like to know the reasoning behind their thinking.

                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                    techsinger@tweesecake.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #15

                    @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt I admire your effort but don't make it myself. It just takes time from other things which are more enjoyable, and I think education of strangers or acquaintances is just too big a problem to solve. Too much effort, too little reward.

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                    • T techsinger@tweesecake.social

                      @DavidGoldfield @vol4life8657 @britt I admire your effort but don't make it myself. It just takes time from other things which are more enjoyable, and I think education of strangers or acquaintances is just too big a problem to solve. Too much effort, too little reward.

                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                      davidgoldfield@allovertheplace.ca
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #16

                      @techsinger @vol4life8657 @britt When someone says "you inspire me" I think the best response is to say, "that's great to hear. What is it that I inspire you to do?"

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                      • britt@mstdn.gamesB britt@mstdn.games

                        Friendly reminder that people living with disabilities do not want to be your inspiration and don’t want to be reminded that we are ‘strong’ or ‘resilient.’

                        We didn’t choose this. That athlete you admire? They did. See the difference?

                        This isn’t up for debate.

                        Thanks. 🫶🏻

                        jstark@tweesecake.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jstark@tweesecake.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jstark@tweesecake.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #17

                        @FreakyFwoof @britt lol; no one listens sadly hehe

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                        • jwcph@helvede.netJ jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
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