Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[thejacenallen@mastodon.social]

@futurebird hack the planet

[arti@mk.absturztau.be]

@futurebird@sauropods.win to upload your suscription key unlocking premium functions like lowering the power and turning the plate.

[bradr@infosec.exchange]

@glyph @futurebird

that usb port delivers enough power to cook the turkey

[rogerbw@discordian.social]

@futurebird Otherwise the front panel would be waterproof.

[shovemedia@triangletoot.party]

@futurebird some people prefer to attach a manual keyboard so they can punch in cook times with more thonk

[paulc@mstdn.social]

@futurebird For the mouse and keyboard.

[cachondo@defcon.social]

@futurebird so you can attach one of those old USB drives and ..
Wait for it ...
Burn your CDs!

[aud@fire.asta.lgbt]

@futurebird@sauropods.win you got a better way of turning a USB drive into a hot cache, I'd love to hear it

[doomed_daniel@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@futurebird
if your microwave is too small they allow you to plug in extra storage

[josh0@babka.social]

@futurebird so you can update the firmware to use AI.

[glitzersachen@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird

Before somebody pipes up and start talking about how (supposedly) unsafe it is to charge this way, let me address one hard truth:

Qi charging is for wimps.

You are not raw-dogging your charging if you don't have an air-gap of at least three meters between the charger and the device.

And yes, it scales up to the power required to charge or operate even a gaming laptop: After all, the klystron in a typical microwave can output between 600 and 1200 Watts. Have you ever seen a laptop power brick rated at more than 120W? See, there is still enough headspace to the ceiling. And if some day it's not sufficient, just buy a larger microwave. The industrial ones, for example, can output much more power.

Anyway I don't understand the use case of Qi: There is hardly any air-gap, millimeters instead of meters. With Qi you have to walk to the charger anyway to charge your device. What's the usefulness of this?

Would you accept a TV remote, where you have to walk to the screen and press the device to the screen in order to switch the program or change the volume? Not? Me neither. It's hard to believe people put up with this crap when it's about wireless charging.

So my advice: Go for the real thing. Use your microwave and make sure that your setup can at least bridge the room.

[faassen@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird
I don't understand, how else are you going to charge this microwave's batteries and make hot food on the back of your bicycle?

[pthane@toot.wales]

@futurebird
To plug in a printer to get a hard copy of the manual.

[nielsole@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird Wireless charging is only available inside the microwave

[jasonkarns@indieweb.social]

@futurebird project manager asked team to add presets for cooking SUBs; but the ai tool transcribed the meeting notes incorrectly

[w@11n.org]

if there's another way to charge a microwave's batteries, I don't want to know what it is

[plan_a_to_y@furry.engineer]

@futurebird because their lead designer got tricked by a "charge your phone using a microwave" video and decided to make it real.

[khm@hj.9fs.net]

SDR (software defined radiation)

[admin@mastodon.slightlycyberpunk.com]

@futurebird Potentially *correct* answer: the [microwave brand] engineers must be fans of Allen Pan:

https://www.wired.com/video/watch/video-game-microwave-that-only-cooks-while-i-play

[wrosecrans@mstdn.social]

@futurebird You plug in a USB cable and use it to stir whatever you are taking out if the microwave. Perhaps occasionally even doing it intentionally. This also charges the food to replace any electrons that got loose during cooking.