I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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@msbellows @rgulick
You’re doing yeoman’s work. -
I hope that this morning John Roberts awakens pleasantly horny and happy because Saturday mornings traditionally are when he and his wife make love and then she makes her special super-hot, super-fluffy waffles, and before he even opens his eyes he extends a gently probing foot to touch her lovely warm body and initiate a cuddle but his foot finds only a cold empty bed, and then he gets up and wanders downstairs to a cold empty kitchen because his wife is at a #NoKings protest, and she didn't even set up the coffeemaker for him.
@msbellows LOL
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I hope that this morning John Roberts awakens pleasantly horny and happy because Saturday mornings traditionally are when he and his wife make love and then she makes her special super-hot, super-fluffy waffles, and before he even opens his eyes he extends a gently probing foot to touch her lovely warm body and initiate a cuddle but his foot finds only a cold empty bed, and then he gets up and wanders downstairs to a cold empty kitchen because his wife is at a #NoKings protest, and she didn't even set up the coffeemaker for him.
@msbellows @JohanDiederik I get this funny feeling, that you do not particularly like John Roberts
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I hope that this morning John Roberts awakens pleasantly horny and happy because Saturday mornings traditionally are when he and his wife make love and then she makes her special super-hot, super-fluffy waffles, and before he even opens his eyes he extends a gently probing foot to touch her lovely warm body and initiate a cuddle but his foot finds only a cold empty bed, and then he gets up and wanders downstairs to a cold empty kitchen because his wife is at a #NoKings protest, and she didn't even set up the coffeemaker for him.
I hope that last night John Roberts' wife didn't come home from yesterday's #NoKings protest until 3:00 a.m., and that when John awoke and saw her with her clothes rumpled, her hair disheveled, and her makeup smeared, he exclaimed, oh my God, did the protest turn violent?and she answered icily, my God, could you be more naive? and headed for the shower.
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I hope that last night John Roberts' wife didn't come home from yesterday's #NoKings protest until 3:00 a.m., and that when John awoke and saw her with her clothes rumpled, her hair disheveled, and her makeup smeared, he exclaimed, oh my God, did the protest turn violent?and she answered icily, my God, could you be more naive? and headed for the shower.
@msbellows Excellent!
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@msbellows Excellent!
@mralancooper Honestly, it's been sad and troubling for me to witness the slow dissolution of their marriage. No one wants that, right?
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I hope that last night John Roberts' wife didn't come home from yesterday's #NoKings protest until 3:00 a.m., and that when John awoke and saw her with her clothes rumpled, her hair disheveled, and her makeup smeared, he exclaimed, oh my God, did the protest turn violent?and she answered icily, my God, could you be more naive? and headed for the shower.
I hope that last night John Roberts had insomnia and couldn't fall asleep until 6 a.m. and then his alarm went off at 6:30, and he's pretty sure the "decaf" his wife served after dinner accidentally wasn't decaf, and then he remembers that (unusually for her) she had Sleepytime tea instead of coffee, and now he's wondering whether it was really accidental.
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@mralancooper Honestly, it's been sad and troubling for me to witness the slow dissolution of their marriage. No one wants that, right?
@msbellows She's gonna leave him for a lesbian trans woman.
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@msbellows She's gonna leave him for a lesbian trans woman.
@mralancooper In her mind I suspect she already has.
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I hope that last night John Roberts had insomnia and couldn't fall asleep until 6 a.m. and then his alarm went off at 6:30, and he's pretty sure the "decaf" his wife served after dinner accidentally wasn't decaf, and then he remembers that (unusually for her) she had Sleepytime tea instead of coffee, and now he's wondering whether it was really accidental.
I hope that someone keys John Roberts' car today, and not just shallowly so that it'll buff but all the way through the clear coat into the paint.
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I hope that someone keys John Roberts' car today, and not just shallowly so that it'll buff but all the way through the clear coat into the paint.
I hope nothing bad whatsoever happens to John Roberts today!
Ha ha April fools no seriously I actually hope he slips on a banana peel and breaks his elbow and has to be taken to the emergency department and today's oral argument on birthright citizenship has to be rescheduled for sometime in the next term of court and Trump's illegal order remains stayed until then.
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I hope nothing bad whatsoever happens to John Roberts today!
Ha ha April fools no seriously I actually hope he slips on a banana peel and breaks his elbow and has to be taken to the emergency department and today's oral argument on birthright citizenship has to be rescheduled for sometime in the next term of court and Trump's illegal order remains stayed until then.
I hope that this morning, as he transitioned through that productive, liminal state halfway between sleeping and waking, John Roberts was struck with the unpromped insight that all his success as a student and lawyer was born of a pathological need to please his overdemanding, vicariously ambitious father, and that he stumbles through the rest of the day with a surprisingly strong, even pathetic feeling of sadness that he actually should have been a professional sailor or large animal vet.
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I hope that this morning, as he transitioned through that productive, liminal state halfway between sleeping and waking, John Roberts was struck with the unpromped insight that all his success as a student and lawyer was born of a pathological need to please his overdemanding, vicariously ambitious father, and that he stumbles through the rest of the day with a surprisingly strong, even pathetic feeling of sadness that he actually should have been a professional sailor or large animal vet.
@msbellows nicely put! Especially that last part about what he should have been
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I hope that this morning, as he transitioned through that productive, liminal state halfway between sleeping and waking, John Roberts was struck with the unpromped insight that all his success as a student and lawyer was born of a pathological need to please his overdemanding, vicariously ambitious father, and that he stumbles through the rest of the day with a surprisingly strong, even pathetic feeling of sadness that he actually should have been a professional sailor or large animal vet.
I hope today John Roberts realizes that Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito probably will retire before the end of T's term so T can attempt to name their replacements the way Obama never got to because RBG was too stubborn, and that that makes him sad because them leaving literally will eliminate half of the friendships he's had in his entire miserable life.
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@msbellows nicely put! Especially that last part about what he should have been
@patrascan _/\_
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I hope today John Roberts realizes that Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito probably will retire before the end of T's term so T can attempt to name their replacements the way Obama never got to because RBG was too stubborn, and that that makes him sad because them leaving literally will eliminate half of the friendships he's had in his entire miserable life.
Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
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Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
@msbellows I second this but why would he try and remove the decaying mess that he granted total immunity to
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@msbellows I second this but why would he try and remove the decaying mess that he granted total immunity to
@dannotdaniel Maybe living a life that's inexplicably cursed day after day after day will finally force an epiphany leading him to reexamine his life choices and try to undo the harms he has caused?
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Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
@msbellows It seems you given a little bit of thought behind this "accident".
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@msbellows It seems you given a little bit of thought behind this "accident".
@PattyHanson I definitely wasn't inspired by anything that happened to me. Nope. (Because today I paid a neighbor kid to clean the gutter along the front of the garage instead of doing it myself.)
