I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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@Crowjane Give it time, friend. PND takes awhile to irritate the tissues.
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I hope John Roberts woke up this morning with a really stuffy nose.
This morning I hope that as usual John Roberts put on one sock and then one Florsheim wingtip and tied its laces (because that's how he does it, one shoe at a time like Meathead on "All in the Family"), and then when he stood up to push his other heel into the other shoe something squished underfoot and when he took the shoe back off to look there was a green, melon flavored, sweet-bean-curd-filled mochi completely mushed into his sock and the crevices inside his shoe, and he has absolutely no idea how a melon mochi got into his shoe, and also he was wearing his favorite socks that feel really silky against his feet and now he has to change them.
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@sarae I was thinking of this: https://youtu.be/keX9D-KhqRI?si=FRjM6wpunFXjdA5s
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@roknrol @sarae Absolutely. The problem is, half of America thought Archie Bunker was a truthteller merely disguised as an idiot, the same way Russian writers put criticisms of the Czar into the mouths of drunkards so that the writer wouldn't be sent to a gulag. This sheer number of people who agreed with Archie should have been a signal that progressivism was in trouble, because those people went on to elect Reagan and started the cascade that led to today.
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This morning I hope that as usual John Roberts put on one sock and then one Florsheim wingtip and tied its laces (because that's how he does it, one shoe at a time like Meathead on "All in the Family"), and then when he stood up to push his other heel into the other shoe something squished underfoot and when he took the shoe back off to look there was a green, melon flavored, sweet-bean-curd-filled mochi completely mushed into his sock and the crevices inside his shoe, and he has absolutely no idea how a melon mochi got into his shoe, and also he was wearing his favorite socks that feel really silky against his feet and now he has to change them.
I hope John Roberts has a blister on one heel today because he didn't get to wear his better socks yesterday.
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@foolishowl @bweller @roknrol @sarae I think you guys all are missing the point. The Empire's stormtroopers are entirely good, because they're horrible shots who never hit anyone. A supposed "empire" whose shock troops are completely ineffective is effectively a pacifist state, which by definition is good.
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@sarae I was thinking of this: https://youtu.be/keX9D-KhqRI?si=FRjM6wpunFXjdA5s
@sarae I fixed the "one shoe" problem in the post. Thanks for pointing out the lack of clarity, which was bugging me subliminally but which I hadn't quite identified.
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I hope John Roberts has a blister on one heel today because he didn't get to wear his better socks yesterday.
My meanest #IHopeJohnRoberts to date, for good reason:
This morning I hope John Roberts can't find any matched pairs of socks because his Black housekeeper hid one sock from every pair before she left yesterday, and then that on his way to work this morning he stopped at a drive-through for coffee and his Black barista put seven pink packets of saccharine in it instead of two sugars and then the Supreme Court building's Black doorman noticed he had dog slobber on his pants and didn't tell him and then today he goes out for lunch and the Black cook spits in his gumbo and then his waiter does too and this evening on his way home he stops for a cocktail with a friend and his Black bartender slyly pisses just a little in his Manhattan and the white ally cocktail waitress adds a cherry she dropped on the floor and things like this keep happening all day today and every single other day for the rest of his privileged, racist, godforsaken life, right up to the very end when his immigrant Latina ICU nurse will see he has soiled himself in bed and just ignores it and leaves him festering in his own shit for three more hours and that's how he passes away.
John Roberts’ effort to gut the Voting Rights Act is complete | CNN Politics https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/30/politics/john-roberts-voting-rights-act-race-protections
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@LeslieBurns _/\_
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@chrisnelsonsdog I... I don't actually like him very much, surprisingly.
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@LeslieBurns _/\_
@LeslieBurns I tweaked the post above to diversify the people taking righteous vengeance on John Roberts. I didn't want it to seem like I think only Black people are angry, or that Black people don't have allies. But otoh, I fear I've diluted the impact, because Black people specifically *are* the targets here and I want to show them seizing their power. I'd appreciate your thoughts: good change, or change it back?
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My meanest #IHopeJohnRoberts to date, for good reason:
This morning I hope John Roberts can't find any matched pairs of socks because his Black housekeeper hid one sock from every pair before she left yesterday, and then that on his way to work this morning he stopped at a drive-through for coffee and his Black barista put seven pink packets of saccharine in it instead of two sugars and then the Supreme Court building's Black doorman noticed he had dog slobber on his pants and didn't tell him and then today he goes out for lunch and the Black cook spits in his gumbo and then his waiter does too and this evening on his way home he stops for a cocktail with a friend and his Black bartender slyly pisses just a little in his Manhattan and the white ally cocktail waitress adds a cherry she dropped on the floor and things like this keep happening all day today and every single other day for the rest of his privileged, racist, godforsaken life, right up to the very end when his immigrant Latina ICU nurse will see he has soiled himself in bed and just ignores it and leaves him festering in his own shit for three more hours and that's how he passes away.
John Roberts’ effort to gut the Voting Rights Act is complete | CNN Politics https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/30/politics/john-roberts-voting-rights-act-race-protections
Today I hope Ketanji Brown Jackson sees John Roberts' coffee mug sitting briefly unattended and spits in it too, just like all those other people did yesterday and even more people will do tomorrow. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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Today I hope Ketanji Brown Jackson sees John Roberts' coffee mug sitting briefly unattended and spits in it too, just like all those other people did yesterday and even more people will do tomorrow. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Today I hope when John Roberts wakes up his wife isn't in bed with him and her car is gone and he realizes they haven't made love for months and it suddenly hits him that, with her being gone a lot lately, and the way she keeps biting back criticisms of him, and her attendance at #NoKings protests, and especially her face last week when she learned about his ruling destroying the Civil Rights Act – with all that, it hits him that their tradition of making tender love on Saturday mornings may be gone forever and he may never get to softly stroke her smooth, strong, beautiful, familiar body ever, ever again. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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Today I hope when John Roberts wakes up his wife isn't in bed with him and her car is gone and he realizes they haven't made love for months and it suddenly hits him that, with her being gone a lot lately, and the way she keeps biting back criticisms of him, and her attendance at #NoKings protests, and especially her face last week when she learned about his ruling destroying the Civil Rights Act – with all that, it hits him that their tradition of making tender love on Saturday mornings may be gone forever and he may never get to softly stroke her smooth, strong, beautiful, familiar body ever, ever again. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I hope John Roberts' wife slept in the guest bedroom last night and didn't even say why. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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I hope John Roberts' wife slept in the guest bedroom last night and didn't even say why. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I hope John Roberts overhears some law clerks and the Democratic justices making an insiderey May the Fourth reference today and he doesn't understand and feels left out and so he asks Ketanji Brown Jackson to explain and she looks at him like he's a little slow but says helpfully and slowly, "May the 4th be with you?" but Roberts still doesn't get it and wonders if it's a Black thing. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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I hope John Roberts overhears some law clerks and the Democratic justices making an insiderey May the Fourth reference today and he doesn't understand and feels left out and so he asks Ketanji Brown Jackson to explain and she looks at him like he's a little slow but says helpfully and slowly, "May the 4th be with you?" but Roberts still doesn't get it and wonders if it's a Black thing. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Today I hope John Roberts hits a speed bump while driving to work and sloshes coffee down the front of his white shirt, which unbeknownst to him actually is sort of a good thing because it means he will drink less of the loogie his barista spat into his cup. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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@955_36 @NorcalGma2 Deal! Thanks!
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Today I hope John Roberts hits a speed bump while driving to work and sloshes coffee down the front of his white shirt, which unbeknownst to him actually is sort of a good thing because it means he will drink less of the loogie his barista spat into his cup. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Today I hope that for a change John Roberts is personally writing a short opinion deciding a motion because the case is intellectually interesting to him and also two of his clerks are taking personal days, but he realizes legal research has evolved to be computerized instead of using the printed AmJur and Shepherd's books he used to use and he's not so good on the computer but someone has told him Grok is easy to use so he tries it and it's fascinating and he spends the day diving down that rabbit hole until he and Grok have drafted a really well-researched document that says exactly what he wanted it to say and rather than wait for his clerks to return and cite-check it he thinks to himself, "dammit, I'm still a damn fine lawyer and researcher in my own right!" and just posts it himself on the Court's public server, completely unaware that six of the thirteen cases Grok found for him are completely fictitious and three of the others stand for the opposite of what Grok said they did, and he goes to bed tonight blissfully ignorant of how embarrassed he's going to be when he gets to work tomorrow. #IHopeJohnRoberts #AI
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@laprice _/\_
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Today I hope that for a change John Roberts is personally writing a short opinion deciding a motion because the case is intellectually interesting to him and also two of his clerks are taking personal days, but he realizes legal research has evolved to be computerized instead of using the printed AmJur and Shepherd's books he used to use and he's not so good on the computer but someone has told him Grok is easy to use so he tries it and it's fascinating and he spends the day diving down that rabbit hole until he and Grok have drafted a really well-researched document that says exactly what he wanted it to say and rather than wait for his clerks to return and cite-check it he thinks to himself, "dammit, I'm still a damn fine lawyer and researcher in my own right!" and just posts it himself on the Court's public server, completely unaware that six of the thirteen cases Grok found for him are completely fictitious and three of the others stand for the opposite of what Grok said they did, and he goes to bed tonight blissfully ignorant of how embarrassed he's going to be when he gets to work tomorrow. #IHopeJohnRoberts #AI
Today I hope that when John Roberts gets to work everyone is agitated about the AI-hallucinated citations in the document he posted yesterday (see above) but no one has realized he's the one who did it because no one would ever think a CJ could be that foolish, so everyone is trying to figure out which clerk was stupid enough to (a) use Grok to write an opinion and (b) not even cite-check it before posting it online, and Alito is especially furious and has corned a Roberts clerk he's always suspected to have secret liberal tendencies and is dressing him down to the point that the clerk (who's not a bad guy for a Yalie) has tears streaming down his face, and Roberts normally would have come to his clerk's defense but he's so mortified by his own error and so terrified of being discovered that instead of doing the right thing he locks himself in his private washroom and bursts into tears himself, and by the end of the day that clerk and one other one have resigned (which is absolutely unheard of), and then at around 4pm a tech figures out which computer posted the flawed document and yes it's his and so everyone in the building goes home knowing that not only is the Chief Justice a befuddled fuckup who trusted Grok but also that he lacks the character to even admit when he's wrong, and just as he's leaving a secretary tells him seventeen reporters have left messages asking to speak with him and he just ignores her, gets in his car, and drives away, unsure whether he's going home or to a nearby bridge.
#IHopeJohnRoberts
