I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts gets soaked in a brief morning thundershower then has to walk around the rest of the day in damp clothes that never quite dry in K.C.'s high humidity, and his crotch rot starts to return.
@msbellows I’m glad you’ve paused him on his grand journey long enough to toss in a few everyday indignities.
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@msbellows I’m glad you’ve paused him on his grand journey long enough to toss in a few everyday indignities.
@Devils_Rancher honestly, I'm doing other stuff and don't have a strong vision at this point, so I just have him wandering around sort of like Dwight Schrute flying over Second Life with no destination.
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@Devils_Rancher honestly, I'm doing other stuff and don't have a strong vision at this point, so I just have him wandering around sort of like Dwight Schrute flying over Second Life with no destination.
@msbellows Stuck in a sort of purgatory works too.

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#IHopeJohnRoberts gets soaked in a brief morning thundershower then has to walk around the rest of the day in damp clothes that never quite dry in K.C.'s high humidity, and his crotch rot starts to return.
#IHopeJohnRoberts 's wet shoe starts giving him a blister.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts 's wet shoe starts giving him a blister.
As he's walking down a random street in downtown #KansasCity just east of US-71, contemplating his life choices and wishing his blister didn't hurt so much, #IHopeJohnRoberts unexpectedly gets slapped in the face by a thrown naan, as a broken baguette flops limply into the middle of the street beside him and a bunch of teenagers go "oh, shit!" and flee frantically down the fire escapes from a nearby roof. https://metalhead.club/@HailsandAles/117054979330660362
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As he's walking down a random street in downtown #KansasCity just east of US-71, contemplating his life choices and wishing his blister didn't hurt so much, #IHopeJohnRoberts unexpectedly gets slapped in the face by a thrown naan, as a broken baguette flops limply into the middle of the street beside him and a bunch of teenagers go "oh, shit!" and flee frantically down the fire escapes from a nearby roof. https://metalhead.club/@HailsandAles/117054979330660362
As he wanders aimlessly through downtown-adjacent #KansasCity neighborhoods nursing a holey shoe, a blister, and a cheek that smells like garlic naan, #IHopeJohnRoberts comes across a castle, an honest-to-God castle, with turrets and crenellations and everything, and wonders if the graffiti is historically accurate, the same way ancient Greek statues actually were colorfully painted. #KC
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@intrepidhero Reality is too painful. I had to introduce surrealism. I suspect a little supernaturalism may even be lurking around the corner.
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As he wanders aimlessly through downtown-adjacent #KansasCity neighborhoods nursing a holey shoe, a blister, and a cheek that smells like garlic naan, #IHopeJohnRoberts comes across a castle, an honest-to-God castle, with turrets and crenellations and everything, and wonders if the graffiti is historically accurate, the same way ancient Greek statues actually were colorfully painted. #KC
As he continues gazing at the castle he unexpectedly stumbled across while roaming downtown Kansas City, #IHopeJohnRoberts has the flawed yet surprisingly generous thought that it's sort of sad that Black people have to live in lower-quality houses instead of in a cool castle like this one, not realizing that what he's looking at used to be a "workhouse" (prison).
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As he continues gazing at the castle he unexpectedly stumbled across while roaming downtown Kansas City, #IHopeJohnRoberts has the flawed yet surprisingly generous thought that it's sort of sad that Black people have to live in lower-quality houses instead of in a cool castle like this one, not realizing that what he's looking at used to be a "workhouse" (prison).
#IHopeJohnRoberts is getting pretty hungry and there's a really fantastic-smelling KC BBQ place right across the street but he realizes he stashed most of his money under the mattress in his motel a couple of miles back and he only has $4 on him.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts is getting pretty hungry and there's a really fantastic-smelling KC BBQ place right across the street but he realizes he stashed most of his money under the mattress in his motel a couple of miles back and he only has $4 on him.
#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
@msbellows "Rogue AI" is the latest model from Tesla.
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@msbellows "Rogue AI" is the latest model from Tesla.
@karlauerbach And now I'm wondering why Palantir hasn't come out with a self-driving car yet.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
Wandering, wandering, wandering hungrily through unfamiliar streets under the darkening sky of a strange city,
#IHopeJohnRoberts suddenly wonders if he's a ghost, and tries to think of a way to test it that won't involve physical pain or talking to people. -
Wandering, wandering, wandering hungrily through unfamiliar streets under the darkening sky of a strange city,
#IHopeJohnRoberts suddenly wonders if he's a ghost, and tries to think of a way to test it that won't involve physical pain or talking to people.As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
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As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
@msbellows Robert's wrist watch and calendar all run backwards towards 1953.
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@msbellows Robert's wrist watch and calendar all run backwards towards 1953.
@karlauerbach It's wild that you knew that. Most people don't! Yeah, imagine how different today's world would be if John Roberts' watch repair guy hadn't put that one cog in backwards.
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As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
After getting robbed of his $4 by the desperate child of deported immigrants, #IHopeJohnRoberts continues walking back in the direction of his hotel, hungry after not having eaten anything all day, and then two blocks later comes across a tiny lunch joint advertising brisket sandwiches for $4, but he doesn't have his $4 anymore so he just keeps trudging along being hungry.
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After getting robbed of his $4 by the desperate child of deported immigrants, #IHopeJohnRoberts continues walking back in the direction of his hotel, hungry after not having eaten anything all day, and then two blocks later comes across a tiny lunch joint advertising brisket sandwiches for $4, but he doesn't have his $4 anymore so he just keeps trudging along being hungry.
As he tries to find his way back to his cheap motel in a city strange to him, #IHopeJohnRoberts sees a public library and stops in to see if there's any news about his disappearance, but they don't have paper newspapers hung on sticks anymore and the free computers are all being used by unhoused people playing Wordle.
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As he tries to find his way back to his cheap motel in a city strange to him, #IHopeJohnRoberts sees a public library and stops in to see if there's any news about his disappearance, but they don't have paper newspapers hung on sticks anymore and the free computers are all being used by unhoused people playing Wordle.
@mastoreaderio unroll
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@mastoreaderio unroll
@msbellows here's the unrolled thread: https://mastoreader.io?url=https%3A%2F%2Fc.im%2F%40msbellows%2F117100255878592114
Next time, kindly set the visibility to 'Mentioned people only' and mention only me (@mastoreaderio). This ensures we avoid spamming others' timelines and threads unless you intend for others to see the unrolled thread link as well.
Thank you!