I hear it occasionally & every time I do I have to wonder: What, exactly, do adherents of the "Let the child scream until they give up" school of parenting view as the desired outcome?
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I hear it occasionally & every time I do I have to wonder: What, exactly, do adherents of the "Let the child scream until they give up" school of parenting view as the desired outcome?
Do they have one that isn't just straight-up sadistic, á la what one couple once told me, "They have to learn that nobody comes to their aid"? (we weren't friends anymore after that)
I'm not bothered by the noise, I'm bothered by an impulse to intervene on the child's behalf that I can't follow.
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I hear it occasionally & every time I do I have to wonder: What, exactly, do adherents of the "Let the child scream until they give up" school of parenting view as the desired outcome?
Do they have one that isn't just straight-up sadistic, á la what one couple once told me, "They have to learn that nobody comes to their aid"? (we weren't friends anymore after that)
I'm not bothered by the noise, I'm bothered by an impulse to intervene on the child's behalf that I can't follow.
@jwcph Depends if the child is actually in distress, or merely attempting to get what they want through screaming. A parent can usually tell.
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I hear it occasionally & every time I do I have to wonder: What, exactly, do adherents of the "Let the child scream until they give up" school of parenting view as the desired outcome?
Do they have one that isn't just straight-up sadistic, á la what one couple once told me, "They have to learn that nobody comes to their aid"? (we weren't friends anymore after that)
I'm not bothered by the noise, I'm bothered by an impulse to intervene on the child's behalf that I can't follow.
@jwcph I think the desired outcome is the child gives up on trying to have their needs met. To break the child, who is assumed to be spiteful.
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I hear it occasionally & every time I do I have to wonder: What, exactly, do adherents of the "Let the child scream until they give up" school of parenting view as the desired outcome?
Do they have one that isn't just straight-up sadistic, á la what one couple once told me, "They have to learn that nobody comes to their aid"? (we weren't friends anymore after that)
I'm not bothered by the noise, I'm bothered by an impulse to intervene on the child's behalf that I can't follow.
@jwcph This is called breaking the child, and stems from a desire to make them conform by demonstrating that persisting in showing that they have unmet needs will be retaliated against with withdrawal of parental protection and affection., that love is conditional upon conformity. It's designed to make the child disassociate and not expect support. It purely teaches them that no help is coming so there's no point in complaining.
Even if the child's "demand" seems inappropriate or unreasonable, it still means there is an unmet need, it's just that the adults are not recognising it.
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I hear it occasionally & every time I do I have to wonder: What, exactly, do adherents of the "Let the child scream until they give up" school of parenting view as the desired outcome?
Do they have one that isn't just straight-up sadistic, á la what one couple once told me, "They have to learn that nobody comes to their aid"? (we weren't friends anymore after that)
I'm not bothered by the noise, I'm bothered by an impulse to intervene on the child's behalf that I can't follow.
@jwcph As a kid who was let scream until I learned that adults are useless, I thank you for caring.
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I hear it occasionally & every time I do I have to wonder: What, exactly, do adherents of the "Let the child scream until they give up" school of parenting view as the desired outcome?
Do they have one that isn't just straight-up sadistic, á la what one couple once told me, "They have to learn that nobody comes to their aid"? (we weren't friends anymore after that)
I'm not bothered by the noise, I'm bothered by an impulse to intervene on the child's behalf that I can't follow.
@jwcph I have met kids that some times scream and it is not a latter of distress. It is a matter of the 'wrong' parent attending to their needs or not being allowed to eat an apple 5 minutes before dinner. And trying to get their way by screaming.
Some times it is also a matter of not negotiating with terrorists.
They aren't left screaming and fully ignored, but rather offered hugs by the attending parent or told that dinner is soon ready. -
J jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
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@jwcph Depends if the child is actually in distress, or merely attempting to get what they want through screaming. A parent can usually tell.
@jpaskaruk Uh, see below...
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@jwcph I have met kids that some times scream and it is not a latter of distress. It is a matter of the 'wrong' parent attending to their needs or not being allowed to eat an apple 5 minutes before dinner. And trying to get their way by screaming.
Some times it is also a matter of not negotiating with terrorists.
They aren't left screaming and fully ignored, but rather offered hugs by the attending parent or told that dinner is soon ready.@svuorela Most kids will let out a wail at times - I am referring to the situations where it goes on & on for minutes on end, with a parent right there doing nothing about it. Hurts my soul to witness.
