my husband's new Windows 11 computer suddenly stopped outputting audio to the 3.5mm headphones.
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my husband's new Windows 11 computer suddenly stopped outputting audio to the 3.5mm headphones.
I clicked the audio troubleshooting button in Settings. It did not send me to the troubleshooter, but instead redirected me to install a help app. (yes, it wasn't even pre-installed.)
The help app told me to click the audio troubleshooter button.
Satya Nadella owes me three billion dollars in emotional damages.
(we've fixed the audio problem by unplugging the USB microphone and rebooting. before you @ me self-righteously about someone else's operating system which was chosen in accordance with THEIR needs and not mine and certainly not yours, consider whether I might react with the fury of ten thousand suns)
@0xabad1dea casual whine about that one time I picked and bought my wife a Zenbook without a 3.5mm jack because "surely it can't be that bad".
It can, in fact, be that bad, and it is still that bad to this day and I feel terrible about inflicting it on her. The damn thing requires a USB DAC to plug in headphones and all the (Windows, yes) software goes crazy every time audio device config changes at runtime.
I still hope one day she does switch to the Good System That Solves Everything and I can just tell her to
systemctl --user restart pipewire-pulsewhenever that happens! /hj -
@mattblaze @0xabad1dea like... bluetooth headphones? Is there some kind of licensing problem with them? I'm very confused
@fraggle @0xabad1dea Active noise canceling headphones, like people use on airplanes. I think the idea was that the circuit that does the noise cancelation should be (free) software instead of (proprietary) hardware. I'm not sure how that accounts for the microphone hardware that detects the external noise, but no one ever claimed this made any sense.
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I have blocked two people tonight. One accused me out of the clear blue sky of being a child abuser for absolutely no apparent reason (no supporting evidence was provided). The other decided it’d be real funny to do the one thing that I specifically said would not be funny and would make me very angry.
Anyone else want to lose dog photo privileges? Maybe blame the invasion of Genghis Khan on me?
@0xabad1dea Have you tried to monetize dog photos yet? Maybe an OdinlyFans account?
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@0xabad1dea how can you be suspected of being a child abuser without children?
@me @0xabad1dea Clearly by not allowing all children everywhere to pet Odin at all times.
This is also a crime against dogs, by the way.
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my husband's new Windows 11 computer suddenly stopped outputting audio to the 3.5mm headphones.
I clicked the audio troubleshooting button in Settings. It did not send me to the troubleshooter, but instead redirected me to install a help app. (yes, it wasn't even pre-installed.)
The help app told me to click the audio troubleshooter button.
Satya Nadella owes me three billion dollars in emotional damages.
(we've fixed the audio problem by unplugging the USB microphone and rebooting. before you @ me self-righteously about someone else's operating system which was chosen in accordance with THEIR needs and not mine and certainly not yours, consider whether I might react with the fury of ten thousand suns)
@0xabad1dea This is the IT equivalent of writing "please turn over" on both sides of a sheet of paper.
I'm sorry for you and your husband having to put up with crap like that from a company that ought to know better. I mean, they've only had 40 years to get it right…
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before you @ me self-righteously about someone else’s operating system which was chosen in accordance with THEIR needs and not mine and certainly not yours, consider whether I might react with the fury of ten thousand suns)
post finishers like this prompt me to linux @ people out of spite bc no you shouldnt use windows actually its 2026
@zaire you are being a turbo creep.
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@0xabad1dea About 20 years ago, I was at a conference at which a very prominent "free software" advocate who you've definitely heard of was in attendance. Someone, in the hallway, was talking how he liked his new noise-canceling headphones. The free software guy overheard this and started haranguing everyone about how headphones are proprietary and restrict freedom. Someone who had no idea who he was figured he was having some kind of breakdown and called hotel security.
@mattblaze @0xabad1dea had no idea who he was, yet figured out correctly!
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my husband's new Windows 11 computer suddenly stopped outputting audio to the 3.5mm headphones.
I clicked the audio troubleshooting button in Settings. It did not send me to the troubleshooter, but instead redirected me to install a help app. (yes, it wasn't even pre-installed.)
The help app told me to click the audio troubleshooter button.
Satya Nadella owes me three billion dollars in emotional damages.
(we've fixed the audio problem by unplugging the USB microphone and rebooting. before you @ me self-righteously about someone else's operating system which was chosen in accordance with THEIR needs and not mine and certainly not yours, consider whether I might react with the fury of ten thousand suns)
@0xabad1dea and this why I am not worried about AI taking all the IT support jobs.
Go on, get a positive result from an AI driven troubleshooter. It's fine, I can wait...
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my husband's new Windows 11 computer suddenly stopped outputting audio to the 3.5mm headphones.
I clicked the audio troubleshooting button in Settings. It did not send me to the troubleshooter, but instead redirected me to install a help app. (yes, it wasn't even pre-installed.)
The help app told me to click the audio troubleshooter button.
Satya Nadella owes me three billion dollars in emotional damages.
(we've fixed the audio problem by unplugging the USB microphone and rebooting. before you @ me self-righteously about someone else's operating system which was chosen in accordance with THEIR needs and not mine and certainly not yours, consider whether I might react with the fury of ten thousand suns)
@0xabad1dea Your last paragraph made me think of this scene.
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my husband's new Windows 11 computer suddenly stopped outputting audio to the 3.5mm headphones.
I clicked the audio troubleshooting button in Settings. It did not send me to the troubleshooter, but instead redirected me to install a help app. (yes, it wasn't even pre-installed.)
The help app told me to click the audio troubleshooter button.
Satya Nadella owes me three billion dollars in emotional damages.
(we've fixed the audio problem by unplugging the USB microphone and rebooting. before you @ me self-righteously about someone else's operating system which was chosen in accordance with THEIR needs and not mine and certainly not yours, consider whether I might react with the fury of ten thousand suns)
@0xabad1dea (j/k)
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@0xabad1dea Genghis Kahn rode into war on elephant cavalry smaller than your dog
@rotopenguin you owe me a cup of tea! i snorted out mine laughing
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange Yeah they removed the troubleshooting feature for some reason in a new update.
No clue why but its completely braindead@ashiisbest @0xabad1dea
Maybe because in 30+ years it has been rarely useful? -
Your headphones will work on Linux!
@mossyrua @0xabad1dea
Not on Jasper Lake. -
my husband's new Windows 11 computer suddenly stopped outputting audio to the 3.5mm headphones.
I clicked the audio troubleshooting button in Settings. It did not send me to the troubleshooter, but instead redirected me to install a help app. (yes, it wasn't even pre-installed.)
The help app told me to click the audio troubleshooter button.
Satya Nadella owes me three billion dollars in emotional damages.
(we've fixed the audio problem by unplugging the USB microphone and rebooting. before you @ me self-righteously about someone else's operating system which was chosen in accordance with THEIR needs and not mine and certainly not yours, consider whether I might react with the fury of ten thousand suns)
@0xabad1dea YES! Windows's support for audio (and bluetooth audio) has been getting steadily worse. Teams can't pick the right audio device two days in a row. Bluetooth both aggressively reattaches to my stereo when I don't want and won't attach when I want it to. Half the bluetooth speakers made identify as headphones and get the "headphone audio processor" by default. Audio (and wifi and bluetooth and everything) randomly stops working until I reboot... ugh sorry kinda lost it there.
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@0xabad1dea I'm pretty sure audio is just cursed no matter what operating system you're using
@Canageek @0xabad1dea
Especially DOS.
See Picklewars. -
@0xabad1dea YES! Windows's support for audio (and bluetooth audio) has been getting steadily worse. Teams can't pick the right audio device two days in a row. Bluetooth both aggressively reattaches to my stereo when I don't want and won't attach when I want it to. Half the bluetooth speakers made identify as headphones and get the "headphone audio processor" by default. Audio (and wifi and bluetooth and everything) randomly stops working until I reboot... ugh sorry kinda lost it there.
@0xabad1dea (yes I know I ranted all about bluetooth but I also see the random USB audio "works after rebooting". Augh?!)
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@0xabad1dea (yes I know I ranted all about bluetooth but I also see the random USB audio "works after rebooting". Augh?!)
@tekhedd the usb mic never stopped working. it was removing it that made the non-usb audio work.
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@tekhedd the usb mic never stopped working. it was removing it that made the non-usb audio work.
@0xabad1dea Oh I see, that's... would you think I was cynical if I told you that sounds about right?
I mean, yes I am cynical but that's not the point.
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@0xabad1dea Oh I see, that's... would you think I was cynical if I told you that sounds about right?
I mean, yes I am cynical but that's not the point.
@0xabad1dea I've done Windows driver development (pre-Vista), and nothing the audio subsystem does surprises me.
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@0xabad1dea
It took me a while on Linux to figure out that I could disable outputs in pulseaudio, and thus stop my USB microphone from insisting every time it was plugged in that it should be the audio *output* device used by the system.@viq @0xabad1dea
There is some hot plug system for USB that has config files for devices. You need to set up one that only sets up your USB microphone for microphone use. The microphone manufacturer likely didn't disable audio out capabilities on the chip it used. So the chip says to your computer I can do audio in and out.
