The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool.
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The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens.
Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef.
Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food?
So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind.
Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.
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The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens.
Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef.
Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food?
So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind.
Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.
@mathew Well of course it crushes the potatoes using orphans. It's right there in the name. But they're all crushed up now, so it hardly counts, right?
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The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens.
Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef.
Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food?
So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind.
Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.
@mathew purity is overrated on all sides
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The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens.
Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef.
Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food?
So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind.
Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.
*applause*
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The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens.
Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef.
Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food?
So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind.
Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.
@mathew
"In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef."You have been saying that for about three years now.
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The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens.
Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef.
Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food?
So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind.
Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.
@mathew you slaves are going to have INCREDIBLE mashed potatoes, just you wait!
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@mathew
"In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef."You have been saying that for about three years now.
@EFreethought @mathew literal chef's kiss on this one
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@mathew
"In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef."You have been saying that for about three years now.
@EFreethought @mathew I was really craving mashed potatoes that one time, and the instant packets were sold out (they always are since this came out)
So I tried it. And it made super good mashed potatoes at the first try! I think it’s Michelin quality already! This is the future.
When I tried again the next day it tasted like rotten fish. Must have prompted it wrong, I’m still learning.
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The orphan-crushing machine is just a tool. You can also use it to mulch puppies and purée kittens.
Why are you angry? You can use it for harmless tasks like making mashed potatoes. You eat mashed potatoes don't you? Yes, admittedly it leaks machine oil into the potatoes, but they're working on that. It leaks so much less oil than it did when you tried it three months ago. In a year from now it's going to be a Michelin-starred chef.
Well, that’s typical, gatekeeping by telling people they should have to learn to cook. You don’t think people who can’t cook deserve good food?
So what if the machine is powered by slave labor? That's innovation. You're just scared you're going to be one of them. Besides, it's inevitable. Nobody is going to crush orphans by hand any more. You're going to get left behind.
Oh, well there you go with your ridiculous purity culture again.
@mathew I'll just leave this here.
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