I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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I hope John Roberts' law clerks all were sick today so he had to actually do his own legal research and he ended up wandering angrily around the Supreme Court law library stacking heavy volumes of West's case law on tables and wondering why the hell the Shephards annual, monthly, and weekly pocket parts haven't been kept up to date. #law
@msbellows I would think that online versions of pocket parts and Shepards would have long ago replaced the paper versions.
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I hope John Roberts picks up a can of leftover Coke he finds on the counter and accidentally swallows a giant dead housefly.
@msbellows With ol' Clarance T wandering around that thing on the coke can might be a pubic hair left to "entice" an intern.
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@msbellows I would think that online versions of pocket parts and Shepards would have long ago replaced the paper versions.
@karlauerbach Yes, but old lawyers who've had clerks and research assistants for decades don't necessarily know that, which is why I portray him as puzzled.
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(Digression: obscene decisions like this are why, in this thread, I'm making it a practice to curse U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts every single day: https://apnews.com/article/supreme-court-transgender-students-california-cca311ae39d267f31c1392a0bcf780cd
I've been a lawyer for nearly four decades. I've been PROUD to be a lawyer! On the day I graduated from law school I was privileged to shake hands with our commencement speaker, the outstanding liberal justice William F. Brennan. Lawyers and jurists like Brennan have been responsible for much of the social progress America slowly made through most of the 20th century, and I foolishly thought that that progress would mostly continue.
John Roberts represents the betrayal of that proud tradition. More broadly, John Roberts represents everything that is wrong with privilege and whiteness and toxic maleness and greed. So yes, I curse John Roberts, in small ways and large, every single fucking day. Because he has betrayed a noble calling, and the instant there's someone in the Oval Office who won't make Eileen Cannon chief justice, my final curse will be a general, passive wish for John Roberts to die painfully and slowly (but not too slowly).
But until then I curse him creatively, trying to bring a little humor to my rage.)
@msbellows Take a glance at my short (809 words) piece "I will not be joining the United States Supreme Court (SCOTUS) Bar"
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@955_36 @msbellows @grammasaurus David Chaum has had some really interesting proposals on how voters can do vote tracking without giving away data that can be used by third parties (including the county clerks) to match ballots to voters (or vice versa.)
It's been nearly two decades since I worked with him on this stuff, so I don't dare to try to recite any of his ideas here.
The wikipedia link below is probably a better place to start looking for his many interesting ideas.
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@955_36 @msbellows @grammasaurus David Chaum has had some really interesting proposals on how voters can do vote tracking without giving away data that can be used by third parties (including the county clerks) to match ballots to voters (or vice versa.)
It's been nearly two decades since I worked with him on this stuff, so I don't dare to try to recite any of his ideas here.
The wikipedia link below is probably a better place to start looking for his many interesting ideas.
@karlauerbach @msbellows @grammasaurus Interesting that we had the thought and technology to do this 46 years ago, and yet in the meantime we've had chads and "I just need 11,800 more votes"
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@msbellows Take a glance at my short (809 words) piece "I will not be joining the United States Supreme Court (SCOTUS) Bar"
@karlauerbach That is perfect; thank you for sharing.
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I hope John Roberts gets a flat tire today when he's already running late.
I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
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I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
@msbellows It’d be even better if they revoked his degrees because he’s brought disgrace upon the school by turning his back on his sworn duty to uphold the Constitution.
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I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
@msbellows
That’d be nice. -
I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
I hope John Roberts needs to hop a quick flight to New York today to give a lecture but never got a Real ID so he's stopped by TSA before boarding and okay whatever he pays the $45 fee for TSA to confirm his identity online but they've started using an AI for that and the AI somehow conflates Chief Justice of the Supreme Court with Iran's Supreme Leader of the Council of Experts and he's arrested and held for three days in a DHS facility in, ironically, New York before someone finally figures it out.
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I hope John Roberts needs to hop a quick flight to New York today to give a lecture but never got a Real ID so he's stopped by TSA before boarding and okay whatever he pays the $45 fee for TSA to confirm his identity online but they've started using an AI for that and the AI somehow conflates Chief Justice of the Supreme Court with Iran's Supreme Leader of the Council of Experts and he's arrested and held for three days in a DHS facility in, ironically, New York before someone finally figures it out.
I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
Thing is with these fuckers: they're un-shamable ...
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Thing is with these fuckers: they're un-shamable ...
@boelder Yeah, but they still care about their legacies. Not shame but ego.
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
@msbellows I hope he spends the rest of his life feeling much much worse than going back to bed could possibly solve.
(Now I scroll back up and see you’ve got that MORE than covered here.
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
@msbellows That assumes Roberts gives a flying fuck what The Unwashed think. He doesn't.
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
I hope John Roberts has a tickly stray hair but every time he smooths the hair back on his temples that tickly hair doesn't go away and he finally looks in a mirror and realizes he has a single 3-inch long twisty thick dark hair growing right out of the forward edge of his actual ear, and he successfully plucks it but spends the rest of the day having troubling thoughts about aging and mortality.
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I hope John Roberts has a tickly stray hair but every time he smooths the hair back on his temples that tickly hair doesn't go away and he finally looks in a mirror and realizes he has a single 3-inch long twisty thick dark hair growing right out of the forward edge of his actual ear, and he successfully plucks it but spends the rest of the day having troubling thoughts about aging and mortality.
(What, are some of my John Roberts curses inspired by incidents in my personal life? Why ever would you think that?)
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(What, are some of my John Roberts curses inspired by incidents in my personal life? Why ever would you think that?)
@msbellows I was going to suggest that this all seems #oddlyspecific but you beat me to it.
I. Love. This. Thread.
Thank You!
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@msbellows I was going to suggest that this all seems #oddlyspecific but you beat me to it.
I. Love. This. Thread.
Thank You!
@ermo _/\_
