Emigrating has generally been a very, very complicated and difficult task, but by far the hardest aspect has been relearning how to use a knife and fork.
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@hacks4pancakes If it helps, I can tell you that although I was raised in Europe, with a strict fork-in-left-hand rule, I never obeyed by it, because I felt fork in the right had was more convenient (i.e. knife in left hand).
I still do it to this day, and having eaten at both plain and fancy occasions in many places the world, I've survived.
But, on a similar topic, I have noticed that Americans very often tend to use a fork only, and then use the fork to cut things. I don't know if it stands out, but I notice it.
(perhaps people notice my holding the fork wrong and they're just too polite to mention it?)
Edit: One more thing: The only time my knife-in-left-hand gives me trouble is when I go to a fancy restaurant and they have those special fish knives. Those are difficult to use with the left hand.
@loke @hacks4pancakes I thought that there was a rule that left-handed people can use the opposite hands.
So left-hand knife, right-hand fork.
And Hacks, I vaguely recall a post from ages ago where you mentioned you're left handed?
So you might have an out there? -
Thanks, that's a new word for me.
@EndlessMason @weezmgk @hacks4pancakes@osma @weezmgk @hacks4pancakes
lmao, it's both dutch, and misspelled -
Emigrating has generally been a very, very complicated and difficult task, but by far the hardest aspect has been relearning how to use a knife and fork. It's way harder than accents or driving on the other side of the road.
@hacks4pancakes young me would switch hands depending on what i found easier for each task, which was absolutely considered a crime in my british grandmothers house
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I thought everyone knew this but ....
Neurodivergent story time!In the era of French aristocracy, American culture was just starting to get posh. And Americans (colonists then citizens) at the time decided great high class table manners meant copying high French fashion. So they adopted this weird "zig zag" method of eating where we only eat with the fork in our right hands facing up like you'd scoop food, but also only use the knife in our right hands. So every time you cut something you set the fork down and switch hands, then switch back. We can't eat with a fork in our left hand (if we were raised with strict table manners that don't care about handedness).
America did that big revolution and our big freedom thing and never switched back. The rest of the world moved on to knife in the right hand, fork in the left turned downward whilst cutting stuff.
You can always tell an American while eating by how we use the knife and fork. It's how they caught spies in WWII. Turns out it is incredibly hard to relearn XD
@hacks4pancakes Well, at least I did not know this 🫣
But I don't understand the american cutting part: put down the fork, use the right hand for the knife to cut. When I wish to cut sth, I need a second hand to hold that potato (e.g) in position (using my fork) while cutting it. How do Americans do that? Questions, questions,questions....
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I thought everyone knew this but ....
Neurodivergent story time!In the era of French aristocracy, American culture was just starting to get posh. And Americans (colonists then citizens) at the time decided great high class table manners meant copying high French fashion. So they adopted this weird "zig zag" method of eating where we only eat with the fork in our right hands facing up like you'd scoop food, but also only use the knife in our right hands. So every time you cut something you set the fork down and switch hands, then switch back. We can't eat with a fork in our left hand (if we were raised with strict table manners that don't care about handedness).
America did that big revolution and our big freedom thing and never switched back. The rest of the world moved on to knife in the right hand, fork in the left turned downward whilst cutting stuff.
You can always tell an American while eating by how we use the knife and fork. It's how they caught spies in WWII. Turns out it is incredibly hard to relearn XD
@hacks4pancakes I might not have learned *strict* table manners, but I learned that the fork should point in a 90° angle from the hand held only with the first few fingers, like holding a pen. If it is linear with the arm and maybe even held with all fingers (goddess!
) that's terrible 
But I also never learned to switch knife and fork. So I "eat like a left-handed person" (surprise, I'm partially ambidextrous).
Additional rules included things like: never cut potatoes (or fries/chips) with a knife, break them with the fork, never put used cutlery back on the table.
Oh, and never put your hands under the table, but lift the arm going to the mouth from the table.What I read somewhere about US use of cutlery was, that the standard way was to cut everything (like meat) at the beginning, then put the knife down and eat with the fork in the right hand, left hand on your left tigh. Some years later I saw think in reality and it was fascinating.
I'm terrible at using chopsticks though. My ADHD problem with micromovements makes it hard to control my fingers like I need to. Similar to hand writing: I can write, but it looks always irregular and every time I write the same sentence it looks irregular in a different way.
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I thought everyone knew this but ....
Neurodivergent story time!In the era of French aristocracy, American culture was just starting to get posh. And Americans (colonists then citizens) at the time decided great high class table manners meant copying high French fashion. So they adopted this weird "zig zag" method of eating where we only eat with the fork in our right hands facing up like you'd scoop food, but also only use the knife in our right hands. So every time you cut something you set the fork down and switch hands, then switch back. We can't eat with a fork in our left hand (if we were raised with strict table manners that don't care about handedness).
America did that big revolution and our big freedom thing and never switched back. The rest of the world moved on to knife in the right hand, fork in the left turned downward whilst cutting stuff.
You can always tell an American while eating by how we use the knife and fork. It's how they caught spies in WWII. Turns out it is incredibly hard to relearn XD
@hacks4pancakes I’ve always done the fork in the left hand facing down when cutting stuff. Lifetime American.
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@hacks4pancakes oh, interesting, I didn’t know it was supposed to be good table manners in the US! I have watched American colleagues eat like that and wondered why they make it so complicated?
But I can understand how difficult it must be to unlearn. It’s very much muscle memory.@tanyakaroli @hacks4pancakes I was scolded, as a child, if I didn't do this. by my mother's family, but not my dads. Also scolded for cutting more than one piece at a time before putting down the knife and switching the fork back to my right hand.
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@hacks4pancakes young me would switch hands depending on what i found easier for each task, which was absolutely considered a crime in my british grandmothers house
@hacks4pancakes (i assume i still do this, i just haven’t been banished from the dinner table and made to think about it in a couple decades.)
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@hacks4pancakes Well, at least I did not know this 🫣
But I don't understand the american cutting part: put down the fork, use the right hand for the knife to cut. When I wish to cut sth, I need a second hand to hold that potato (e.g) in position (using my fork) while cutting it. How do Americans do that? Questions, questions,questions....@bent0_b0x @hacks4pancakes was wondering the same.
Is serving meat with big serrated steak knives an American thing? Starts making sense that you might need one of those without a fork to hold it down.
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I thought everyone knew this but ....
Neurodivergent story time!In the era of French aristocracy, American culture was just starting to get posh. And Americans (colonists then citizens) at the time decided great high class table manners meant copying high French fashion. So they adopted this weird "zig zag" method of eating where we only eat with the fork in our right hands facing up like you'd scoop food, but also only use the knife in our right hands. So every time you cut something you set the fork down and switch hands, then switch back. We can't eat with a fork in our left hand (if we were raised with strict table manners that don't care about handedness).
America did that big revolution and our big freedom thing and never switched back. The rest of the world moved on to knife in the right hand, fork in the left turned downward whilst cutting stuff.
You can always tell an American while eating by how we use the knife and fork. It's how they caught spies in WWII. Turns out it is incredibly hard to relearn XD
@hacks4pancakes so I've been "right" this whole time?
The hand switching seemed like a waste of time. Then again, only being able to do something with one particular hand seemed like a waste of resources.
And in addition to that, I also practiced drawing circles in opposite directions with each hand and writing mirror text with my left and...
... Okay yeah, I'm probably neurodivergent.
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I thought everyone knew this but ....
Neurodivergent story time!In the era of French aristocracy, American culture was just starting to get posh. And Americans (colonists then citizens) at the time decided great high class table manners meant copying high French fashion. So they adopted this weird "zig zag" method of eating where we only eat with the fork in our right hands facing up like you'd scoop food, but also only use the knife in our right hands. So every time you cut something you set the fork down and switch hands, then switch back. We can't eat with a fork in our left hand (if we were raised with strict table manners that don't care about handedness).
America did that big revolution and our big freedom thing and never switched back. The rest of the world moved on to knife in the right hand, fork in the left turned downward whilst cutting stuff.
You can always tell an American while eating by how we use the knife and fork. It's how they caught spies in WWII. Turns out it is incredibly hard to relearn XD
@hacks4pancakes I'm a Finn, so from a different culture. I was taught to use fork and knife, fork in the left and the knife in the right. That's kind of the 'formal default' for me. I use that even when eating in public, like a lunch restaurant, with coworkers. Alone at lunch, it's probably just a fork in the right hand and cutting everything with it.
At home I often use the US 'knife in right, fork in left, cut everything up, then use for in the right hand to eat'.
Depends on the situation.
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@bent0_b0x @hacks4pancakes was wondering the same.
Is serving meat with big serrated steak knives an American thing? Starts making sense that you might need one of those without a fork to hold it down.
@bent0_b0x @hacks4pancakes re-reading the thread I think I’m confused. The fork is used to assist the cutting, just swapped to the other hand to eat. 🫠
Respect to the cultures that believe cutting up food is a kitchen job. 🥢
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@hacks4pancakes which one of the three forks are you talking about?
@pagra @hacks4pancakes that is very old fashioned. In the posh restaurants they have enough staff to bring stuff when needed. Max two dishes ahead is now the rule for a traditional menu, and only as needed for a tasting menu.
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Emigrating has generally been a very, very complicated and difficult task, but by far the hardest aspect has been relearning how to use a knife and fork. It's way harder than accents or driving on the other side of the road.
@hacks4pancakes Yes, I have given up. I sit there switching back and forth while I watch everybody else at the table somehow stack half a plateful of food on the back of their fork. My coping strategy is generally to cut up everything at once (like for a toddler).
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I thought everyone knew this but ....
Neurodivergent story time!In the era of French aristocracy, American culture was just starting to get posh. And Americans (colonists then citizens) at the time decided great high class table manners meant copying high French fashion. So they adopted this weird "zig zag" method of eating where we only eat with the fork in our right hands facing up like you'd scoop food, but also only use the knife in our right hands. So every time you cut something you set the fork down and switch hands, then switch back. We can't eat with a fork in our left hand (if we were raised with strict table manners that don't care about handedness).
America did that big revolution and our big freedom thing and never switched back. The rest of the world moved on to knife in the right hand, fork in the left turned downward whilst cutting stuff.
You can always tell an American while eating by how we use the knife and fork. It's how they caught spies in WWII. Turns out it is incredibly hard to relearn XD
@hacks4pancakes wow. I never clocked Americans were doing that. I'm mostly ambidextrous, so I expect to be able to fork with whatever hand, but mostly I think it's about knife. If the knife's present, everything else just has to make do.
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This is legitimately not a joke. I feel so stupid and clumsy. I'm not sure I will ever get it down even though I try every single time I go out to dinner. And I was raised with strict table manners and can eat with chopsticks perfectly, too.
In what hand do you hold the rice?
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@hacks4pancakes thank you for teaching me a new bit of knowledge. I did not know this difference in table manners and would not have expected that even with something so basic such differences could exist.
@mainec @hacks4pancakes neither did I and although I've lived in the US, been utterly oblivious to it. Maybe people saw my European fork use and were shocked - just too polite to say
There's also the Indian "right hand only" rule which B. Was brought up on, and, being left handed, she absolutely hated growing up. We have a "whatever suits" policy in our house, just as I don't mandate a specific text editor.*
* household ban vs.code on security grounds though
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This is legitimately not a joke. I feel so stupid and clumsy. I'm not sure I will ever get it down even though I try every single time I go out to dinner. And I was raised with strict table manners and can eat with chopsticks perfectly, too.
the obvious solution is to just eat at restaurants with chopsticks.
And yes, putting your left hand in your lap to then scoop up your food with the fork looks rude to many Europeans.
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@hacks4pancakes wow. I never clocked Americans were doing that. I'm mostly ambidextrous, so I expect to be able to fork with whatever hand, but mostly I think it's about knife. If the knife's present, everything else just has to make do.
@hacks4pancakes that said, I'm too ill to eat trad meals most of the time, and I grew up in chinatown, so I usu do all my cutting before I start, then only fork/spoon/chopsticks anyway.
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@pagra @hacks4pancakes that is very old fashioned. In the posh restaurants they have enough staff to bring stuff when needed. Max two dishes ahead is now the rule for a traditional menu, and only as needed for a tasting menu.
@Klara @hacks4pancakes yes of course, it was only for the joke
