One of the things the last year that has helped me embrace a more true version of myself is to have learned to tell the difference between different forms of humor.
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One of the things the last year that has helped me embrace a more true version of myself is to have learned to tell the difference between different forms of humor. I know understand better why I most of the time dislike sarcasm and fooling around - or just don't get the point. And I've discovered the part of me that gets touched and laughs out loud when I hear affectionate humor and "work jokes" (inside humour that is relevant to the context without irony).
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One of the things the last year that has helped me embrace a more true version of myself is to have learned to tell the difference between different forms of humor. I know understand better why I most of the time dislike sarcasm and fooling around - or just don't get the point. And I've discovered the part of me that gets touched and laughs out loud when I hear affectionate humor and "work jokes" (inside humour that is relevant to the context without irony).
The first thing, which now seems obvious, is that the feelings make all the difference. Sarcasm almost always carries passive aggression. I really dislike it for that reason. Passive aggression makes me uneasy, not able to relax. The more at ease, the more out loud I can laugh. Fooling around almost always carries some kind of restlessness or anxiety. It is avoidant too. So the laughter it gets is usually nervous giggles. It's fine and understandable, but not really the kind of humor I live for.
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The first thing, which now seems obvious, is that the feelings make all the difference. Sarcasm almost always carries passive aggression. I really dislike it for that reason. Passive aggression makes me uneasy, not able to relax. The more at ease, the more out loud I can laugh. Fooling around almost always carries some kind of restlessness or anxiety. It is avoidant too. So the laughter it gets is usually nervous giggles. It's fine and understandable, but not really the kind of humor I live for.
Affectionate humor carries warmth and an interpersonal focus expressing intimacy and goodness between people. This is the kind of stuff that the best memories are made of. When I think about the most memorable jokes in my life, that put a smile on my face or made me cry tears of joy, they've most often been in this category. The most redemptive moments have often come packaged in an affectionate joke too. I am grateful that my partner is particularly good at this without turning to self-irony.
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Affectionate humor carries warmth and an interpersonal focus expressing intimacy and goodness between people. This is the kind of stuff that the best memories are made of. When I think about the most memorable jokes in my life, that put a smile on my face or made me cry tears of joy, they've most often been in this category. The most redemptive moments have often come packaged in an affectionate joke too. I am grateful that my partner is particularly good at this without turning to self-irony.
Work jokes carry a lightness of spirit and inspiration. It is "work" in the broadest sense of the term here - doing something that creates a change. The deepest (and hence funniest!) work jokes I've heard have always floored me with insight. There's a particular way that humor can get to the essence of things in a way that no other epistemological way can. One punchline can get to the heart of the matter in a way no summary can (sorry AI). Graham Harman built a whole metaphysics around this.
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Work jokes carry a lightness of spirit and inspiration. It is "work" in the broadest sense of the term here - doing something that creates a change. The deepest (and hence funniest!) work jokes I've heard have always floored me with insight. There's a particular way that humor can get to the essence of things in a way that no other epistemological way can. One punchline can get to the heart of the matter in a way no summary can (sorry AI). Graham Harman built a whole metaphysics around this.
The wisest people have often been compared to fools - a figure that at first appears ridiculously naïve, but actually uses that naïvety as an extraordinary openness to the unknown and through that brings in entirely new piece of reality, often with a lightness of spirit that makes you burst with a laughter of reckognition. "Haha! Of course!"
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The wisest people have often been compared to fools - a figure that at first appears ridiculously naïve, but actually uses that naïvety as an extraordinary openness to the unknown and through that brings in entirely new piece of reality, often with a lightness of spirit that makes you burst with a laughter of reckognition. "Haha! Of course!"
Silvan Tomkins said that there's a certain smile and laughter he called "the smile and laughter of reckognition". In his typically unique way, he defined the smile and laughter as a function of a relatively quick decrease in affect - and laughter being the more steep decrease. When you have a sudden drop in interest (wanting to get to know something), then you have the smile or laughter of reckognition (aha! I know that).
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Silvan Tomkins said that there's a certain smile and laughter he called "the smile and laughter of reckognition". In his typically unique way, he defined the smile and laughter as a function of a relatively quick decrease in affect - and laughter being the more steep decrease. When you have a sudden drop in interest (wanting to get to know something), then you have the smile or laughter of reckognition (aha! I know that).
The fool has a special ability of making us look at something unknown that sparks our interest. And then, through the most elegant way of communicating (a joke), reveals what it is just like that. Like magic. It is the fastest way our interest turns into reckognition - if you get the joke. Hence, why work jokes are always "insider" orientered - if you know, you know. If you don't, you'll have have found a new interest - to understand why others around you got it and you didn't.
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The fool has a special ability of making us look at something unknown that sparks our interest. And then, through the most elegant way of communicating (a joke), reveals what it is just like that. Like magic. It is the fastest way our interest turns into reckognition - if you get the joke. Hence, why work jokes are always "insider" orientered - if you know, you know. If you don't, you'll have have found a new interest - to understand why others around you got it and you didn't.
You can probably tell I have a soft spot for work jokes. I think they could get a better name (perhaps literally!). And we'd probably all laugh more out loud - with our whole heart and soul - if we learned to appreciate these differences in humor. And to those of you, who sometimes get told you're humorless or "too serious" because you get uneasy or frustrated with sarcasm and fooling around - I see you
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You can probably tell I have a soft spot for work jokes. I think they could get a better name (perhaps literally!). And we'd probably all laugh more out loud - with our whole heart and soul - if we learned to appreciate these differences in humor. And to those of you, who sometimes get told you're humorless or "too serious" because you get uneasy or frustrated with sarcasm and fooling around - I see you
I now understand better why I most of the time dislike sarcasm and fooling around - or just don't get the point. https://minus1.ghost.io/laughing-in-four-ways (Thread rewritten)
