To my mind, this post feels exactly right.
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@hollie I do find it weird the number of people for whom the right to be an arsehole seems to be the hill they want to die on. Like yes, you have the absolute right to say anything you want to anyone in any context and no one can stop you, but why do you want to?
@afewbugs Yeah it always seems like they think they're arguing out to some packed, eagerly listening crowd that will applaud them when they're done.
They don't look around and see.... 🦗
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@afewbugs Yeah it always seems like they think they're arguing out to some packed, eagerly listening crowd that will applaud them when they're done.
They don't look around and see.... 🦗
@hollie @afewbugs they are merely a step up from those who would previously have started an actual fight in the pub/street (except maybe with enough education to realise that even if they win, that only results in a night in the cells and possibly Court and a criminal record). but its the same combative mentality, just gentrified a bit..
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/117292275974309297
To my mind, this post feels exactly right. It's about building and conserving a respectful and useful online conversational space. But the comments are just pointless reply guy. That women state things this plainly and STILL get this crap in return, feels so exhausting. And I'm not even involved, I'm just watching it. By the third reply I wanted to lay my head down on a table and nap.
On the plus side, the comments read as a veritable who's who of whom to block. I think I got nearly everyone.
@hollie well, i have something to say about this, but you don't want to have a conversation, it seems. so i won't.
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@hollie well, i have something to say about this, but you don't want to have a conversation, it seems. so i won't.
@fishidwardrobe So edgy
@hollie -
@stephanie @hollie how dare you reply to me
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@afewbugs Yeah it always seems like they think they're arguing out to some packed, eagerly listening crowd that will applaud them when they're done.
They don't look around and see.... 🦗
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/117292275974309297
To my mind, this post feels exactly right. It's about building and conserving a respectful and useful online conversational space. But the comments are just pointless reply guy. That women state things this plainly and STILL get this crap in return, feels so exhausting. And I'm not even involved, I'm just watching it. By the third reply I wanted to lay my head down on a table and nap.
On the plus side, the comments read as a veritable who's who of whom to block. I think I got nearly everyone.
@hollie people reading "put in a simple checkstep to determine whether you're explaining something the poster already knows" as "don't you dare reply to me" is wild frankly
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/117292275974309297
To my mind, this post feels exactly right. It's about building and conserving a respectful and useful online conversational space. But the comments are just pointless reply guy. That women state things this plainly and STILL get this crap in return, feels so exhausting. And I'm not even involved, I'm just watching it. By the third reply I wanted to lay my head down on a table and nap.
On the plus side, the comments read as a veritable who's who of whom to block. I think I got nearly everyone.
@hollie I have put it like this once, as a rule of etiquette: “when replying to a stranger, don't make it about yourself.”
(N.b.: Thanks to w.e's blocklist, I only saw two assholes in that thread, hehe.)
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@hollie I have put it like this once, as a rule of etiquette: “when replying to a stranger, don't make it about yourself.”
(N.b.: Thanks to w.e's blocklist, I only saw two assholes in that thread, hehe.)
@j12i Nice!
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@futzle Me too. She’s practically providing a service.
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@hollie well, i have something to say about this, but you don't want to have a conversation, it seems. so i won't.
@fishidwardrobe @hollie And of course one of the assholes shows up here. I'm sure he thinks this is clever. It seems like a disproportionate number of them are German. I don't suppose there's any point reporting him to his instance, since it's probably an instance that takes pride in its mansplaining, harassing assholes.
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@hollie people reading "put in a simple checkstep to determine whether you're explaining something the poster already knows" as "don't you dare reply to me" is wild frankly
@horsewizard @hollie I suspect the Venn diagram of people who interpret "don't mansplain" as "don't reply at all" and people who interpret "don't sexually harass people" as "don't talk to women" has a considerable degree of overlap
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@hollie I have put it like this once, as a rule of etiquette: “when replying to a stranger, don't make it about yourself.”
(N.b.: Thanks to w.e's blocklist, I only saw two assholes in that thread, hehe.)
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@fishidwardrobe @hollie And of course one of the assholes shows up here. I'm sure he thinks this is clever. It seems like a disproportionate number of them are German. I don't suppose there's any point reporting him to his instance, since it's probably an instance that takes pride in its mansplaining, harassing assholes.
@RachelThornSub @hollie personally i don't like to assume about instances; often the moderators are just not paying attention, or overwhelmed. but you can always block/mute the whole instance.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/117292275974309297
To my mind, this post feels exactly right. It's about building and conserving a respectful and useful online conversational space. But the comments are just pointless reply guy. That women state things this plainly and STILL get this crap in return, feels so exhausting. And I'm not even involved, I'm just watching it. By the third reply I wanted to lay my head down on a table and nap.
On the plus side, the comments read as a veritable who's who of whom to block. I think I got nearly everyone.
@hollie I really don't understand the argument of "well, annoying cruelty is just the way the world is."
Does that mean you have to contribute to that by being shitty? No, of course not. It's so frustrating and demoralizing seeing men not choosing humility and kindness at their own continued detriment.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/117292275974309297
To my mind, this post feels exactly right. It's about building and conserving a respectful and useful online conversational space. But the comments are just pointless reply guy. That women state things this plainly and STILL get this crap in return, feels so exhausting. And I'm not even involved, I'm just watching it. By the third reply I wanted to lay my head down on a table and nap.
On the plus side, the comments read as a veritable who's who of whom to block. I think I got nearly everyone.
@hollie so many entitled reply guys to block
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@hollie I really don't understand the argument of "well, annoying cruelty is just the way the world is."
Does that mean you have to contribute to that by being shitty? No, of course not. It's so frustrating and demoralizing seeing men not choosing humility and kindness at their own continued detriment.
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@horsewizard @hollie I suspect the Venn diagram of people who interpret "don't mansplain" as "don't reply at all" and people who interpret "don't sexually harass people" as "don't talk to women" has a considerable degree of overlap
@afewbugs This is such a good observation that I may have gasped aloud in realisation when I read it. Same as I did a few years ago when someone made the observation that men who say 'women aren't funny' are men who mean 'women don't laugh at things I say that I think are funny'.
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@afewbugs This is such a good observation that I may have gasped aloud in realisation when I read it. Same as I did a few years ago when someone made the observation that men who say 'women aren't funny' are men who mean 'women don't laugh at things I say that I think are funny'.
@CiaraNi @horsewizard @hollie that one is also very true
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/117292275974309297
To my mind, this post feels exactly right. It's about building and conserving a respectful and useful online conversational space. But the comments are just pointless reply guy. That women state things this plainly and STILL get this crap in return, feels so exhausting. And I'm not even involved, I'm just watching it. By the third reply I wanted to lay my head down on a table and nap.
On the plus side, the comments read as a veritable who's who of whom to block. I think I got nearly everyone.
@hollie I feel like a bunch of guys straight up admitting they can't talk to women without being condescending, and taking all this as an indication that they should not talk to women at all, is probably an unexpected win
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