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  3. I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

    hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
    hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
    hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #11

    @vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.

    hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB bytebro@mastodonapp.uk

      @vkc

      I don't know. I just block the obvious twats, and mute the remaining annoying ones. We all deal with this shit differently!

      vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
      vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
      vkc@linuxmom.net
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #12

      @bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%

      bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

        @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

        mcneely@indieweb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
        mcneely@indieweb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
        mcneely@indieweb.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #13

        @vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here

        vkc@linuxmom.netV 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          @bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%

          bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB This user is from outside of this forum
          bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB This user is from outside of this forum
          bytebro@mastodonapp.uk
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #14

          @vkc

          OK, sorry. It's a special talent of mine.
          My only possible excuse is that as an ASD person I tend to take things a bit literally.

          Obvs, no irritation or offense intended.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • mcneely@indieweb.socialM mcneely@indieweb.social

            @vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here

            vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
            vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
            vkc@linuxmom.net
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #15

            @McNeely it's super disorienting once you get to a certain threshold of followers and your notifications don't match anyone else's experience in the slightest.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org

              @vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.

              hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
              hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
              hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #16

              @vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.

              vkc@linuxmom.netV vinnie@mastodon.gamedev.placeV 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org

                @vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.

                vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                vkc@linuxmom.net
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #17

                @HunterZ make sure to share it with your mods

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                  It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                  I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                  Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                  khleedril@cyberplace.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                  khleedril@cyberplace.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                  khleedril@cyberplace.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #18

                  @vkc Really sorry to hear that. My experience here is great, and you make it better. Don't know what to say. 😞

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                    stefan@stefanbohacek.onlineS This user is from outside of this forum
                    stefan@stefanbohacek.onlineS This user is from outside of this forum
                    stefan@stefanbohacek.online
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #19

                    @vkc Very sorry you have to put up with all this, and thank you for speaking up about it.

                    Truly, truly disappointed in the community here, and the lack of tools for people to defend themselves.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

                      I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

                      And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                      draeand@social.the-gdn.net
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #20

                      @vkc I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. This is reprehensible and is something I would expect on corporate-owned social media and not on fedi.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                        It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                        I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                        Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                        octojon@merveilles.townO This user is from outside of this forum
                        octojon@merveilles.townO This user is from outside of this forum
                        octojon@merveilles.town
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #21

                        @vkc thank you for all your clarifying and urgent work communicating about these awful circumstances. I really appreciate your candor, especially bc I know it comes at a great personal toll. I normally avoid commenting on your posts bc I don't want to be mistaken for a pompous asshole but I really want to express my bottomless gratitude for you and your work today (acknowledging that good vibes aren't solutions--theyre just what I can give right now). Thank you for everything.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                          rosano@mastodon.onlineR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rosano@mastodon.onlineR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rosano@mastodon.online
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #22

                          @vkc wishing you a better experience than this 🙏🏽☀️ i think we have to make space for ourselves and our own way to do things to avoid getting swallowed by the defaults

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                            rosymaths@mathstodon.xyzR This user is from outside of this forum
                            rosymaths@mathstodon.xyzR This user is from outside of this forum
                            rosymaths@mathstodon.xyz
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #23

                            @vkc @afewbugs That sucks so badly. It's why I never tried to build any kind of following while I worked in tech - whereas I feel safer speaking as a teacher. It's just too dangerous being a very visible woman in tech. 😔.
                            I'm sure there are other industries with equally misogynistic people, but tech seems particularly bad.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                              I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.comA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.comA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.com
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #24

                              @vkc i've had a couple of posts blow up to genuinely large levels and have seen what you mean with the vile stuff. Makes me wonder if social media is a good idea at all.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                sashin@veganism.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #25

                                @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                                vkc@linuxmom.netV 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • sashin@veganism.socialS sashin@veganism.social

                                  @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  vkc@linuxmom.net
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #26

                                  @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                  sashin@veganism.socialS bredroll@mas.toB toadjaune@hostux.socialT 3 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sashin@veganism.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #27

                                    @vkc I'm sorry you have to go through that.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                      I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.org
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #28

                                      @vkc hey, thank you for posting here, I rediscovered your channel because of your Mastodon posts.

                                      For me the moderation is a big reason to be on a managed instance

                                      Question I had but reading your other comments suggests the answer ;D :
                                      One thing I wondered, did your mastodon experience change when you moved from a moderated instance to your own?

                                      dpflug@hachyderm.ioD 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                                        void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
                                        void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
                                        void@social.voidkvlt.eu
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #29

                                        @vkc @McNeely 100% accurate. I run a micro-instance that's likely to upset people and attract bother, and I have to set aside time to expose myself to some genuinely grotesque and upsetting stuff in order to keep on top of the servers I need to block, and we get far fewer eyeballs and interaction on us than Victoria.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                          I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                          moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          moerje@piaille.fr
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #30

                                          @vkc sorry about all that crap. Some people are using their anonymity to reveal their real nature that can be awful. And because they may read you every day, they think they know you intimately so they suppose they're allowed to tell you anything they want. That's difficult to ignore these haters when you're their target. I hope you'll be able to get over it.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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