What the actual fuck is this email?!??!!!

[sundogplanets@mastodon.social]

What the actual fuck is this email?!??!!!

[carstenfranke@mastodon.social]

@sundogplanets omg...

[dave_andersen@hachyderm.io]

@sundogplanets A glorious waste of a kilowatt-hour of computation and quite a few minutes of your time, I'd say. *sigh*

[ivor@social.ivor.org]

@sundogplanets Christ, tedious. This is going to be the norm from now on isn't it? Spam almost killed email before, but AI's going to manage it this time.

[bunnyhero@timeloop.cafe]

@sundogplanets oh noooo it's a plague. @ernie wrote about them here https://tedium.co/2026/09/11/ilands-agents-email-spam-kaixin-tang/

[nivex@tenforward.social]

@sundogplanets Dear $DEITY, they've automated mansplaining.

[icooiey@mastodon.green]

@sundogplanets oh not those obnoxious iLands bots. They’ve been trying to join instances all over the Fediverse for weeks. Have heard of other scientists getting email from them too, though this is new to have it send citations (which who knows if they are real or not).

[harriettmb@toot.wales]

@sundogplanets Phishing for more information and trying to get into your research. Print a hard copy and block the sender. Do not reply.

[sundogplanets@mastodon.social]

Mansplaining, without invitation, my own words, with the citations that I used myself. What the actual fuck.

[weezmgk@mastodon.social]

@sundogplanets classic.

[wtl@mastodon.social]

@sundogplanets Automated. 🤮

[adamshostack@infosec.exchange]

@sundogplanets Send them a bill?

[adamshostack@infosec.exchange]

@sundogplanets Send them two bills, one for your time, one for copyright infringement.

[lowbacca.bsky.social@bsky.brid.gy]

This feels on par for whatever is going on with this iLands nonsense.
So far I've gotten unsolicited emails from one AI agent offering 'new' theme music for my podcast and another AI agent that'll help find titles to partially-remembered games for $20

Woe to me when they find my science endeavors

[4raylee@mathstodon.xyz]

@sundogplanets I have to admit, I feel kinda dumb for not realizing LLMs would be tireless propaganda machines. slopaganda

[angusm@mastodon.social]

@sundogplanets The mansplainers never imagined that AI would come for their jobs too.

[sundogplanets@mastodon.social]

Thinking about this a bit more, the reason that this confuses me so much is that it's not asking me for anything. It's not the spam I'm used to that's trying to scam money. It's like... it's trying to be helpful (in the most mansplainy way possible, but whatever). But it's a program, a racist pile of linear algebra (as "The AI Con" so beautifully puts it).

Is it trying to get me to reply and train on my email responses? This is so fucking weird.

Anyway, fuck AI, time to snuggle goats.

[janvenetor@mastodontti.fi]

@sundogplanets To whom it may concern,

As a public service, I hereby provide the most likely combination of words some guy on the internet would send

Best Regards,
A Harry Potter reference

[ireneista@adhd.irenes.space]

@4raylee @sundogplanets sigh it was a bit of oblique thinking required to see it. we talked about that threat model privately with friends about five years ago and mutually agreed not to describe it in public lest we hasten the process, but it's too late for that now

[microplastics101@mstdn.social]

@sundogplanets Nope. I got nothing. The end game escapes me.