you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn What a marvel of a quote!!!!
> The very first rubber dick to touch government-issued leather boots triggered a full-blown chemical weapons response. That is not metaphor. That is not exaggeration. That is a literal sentence that happened in America in 2026.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn "the dildo(s) of consequences rarely arrives lubed."
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn I'll note that it is possible to get suction cup dildos stuck onto windows, as seen last week in Chicago's northwest suburbs (though not as part of a known protest).
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
...these are the people that give me hope.
Wonderful story.https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
"While we didn’t shut down ICE that night, we did show that their power collapses the moment it’s confronted with absurdity.
We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.
...
You can’t baton your way out of satire. You can’t gas a punchline. And you absolutely cannot maintain authority while tear-gassing people over a rubber dick."https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
This is brilliant. And hilarious. And probably a good model for protests against ICE everywhere. The revolution will be rubberized.
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@susankayequinn the sad part of that is that was the MN National Guard in the yellow vests, which Waltz said was there to protect protesters, and they didn't stop to process what happened, they fired on people. Shame on them, and shame on Waltz.
@emma not national guard
" the officers from the Minneapolis Police Department, Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office and State Patrol office were recruited for assistance."
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@emma not national guard
" the officers from the Minneapolis Police Department, Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office and State Patrol office were recruited for assistance."
@susankayequinn oh. My understanding that the Guard would be wearing vests, but the Devil take Jacob Frye as well.
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@susankayequinn oh. My understanding that the Guard would be wearing vests, but the Devil take Jacob Frye as well.
@emma and almost immediately ICE and others started wearing lookalike gear
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@susankayequinn oh. My understanding that the Guard would be wearing vests, but the Devil take Jacob Frye as well.
@emma you can generally tell by who is wearing MASKS
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"While we didn’t shut down ICE that night, we did show that their power collapses the moment it’s confronted with absurdity.
We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.
...
You can’t baton your way out of satire. You can’t gas a punchline. And you absolutely cannot maintain authority while tear-gassing people over a rubber dick."https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@Plumbert @susankayequinn @mappingsupport
Absolutely brilliant! Well done, Minneapolis.
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This is brilliant. And hilarious. And probably a good model for protests against ICE everywhere. The revolution will be rubberized.
It reminds this moose of a "flying dildo" that someone released into an important (political?) meeting. It was radio controlled and stayed just out or reach of anybody trying to swat it. Chaos ensued. 3:O))>
The video is probably still around somewhere. (I can't find it with a quick search.) 3:O(>
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Clearance-Bin Dildos is the first album by George Soros Bought Me A Handwarmer, surely?
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It reminds this moose of a "flying dildo" that someone released into an important (political?) meeting. It was radio controlled and stayed just out or reach of anybody trying to swat it. Chaos ensued. 3:O))>
The video is probably still around somewhere. (I can't find it with a quick search.) 3:O(>
@Cadbury_Moose hahaha! @Mikal
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn that was wonderful
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.
pure Situationist brilliance!
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I stood there, half-blind, lungs on fire, thinking:
We just got tear-gassed over a dildo.
Not a brick. Not a Molotov. Not a weapon.
A rubber dick.
That is how fragile federal masculinity is in 2026.
Hunter S. is smiling down from whatever opium laced reality he finds himself in. This is some top tier gonzo reporting.
Part of the hate by zeta males against lesbians was the incomprehensibilty of being replaced by a dildo (even though dildo may not be a part of the repertoire).
This is the same, these zeta males are threatened by a piece of plastic
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn found the whole thing here, with photos: https://open.substack.com/pub/closertotheedge/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1dsqn
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn Oh. My. God. That was incredible.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
I blame Josie Butler for the advent of the #DildoDistributionDelegation.
And by blame I mean very honourably mention.
The #BioticBakingBrigade is also worthy of an honourable mention.
