Aunt: Do you still make furniture
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird Chaotic Carpentry is the name of my MC Hammer cover band
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird chaotic carpentry is the new goat farming
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird When I did database theory in my degree, one of the processes of normalisation was “no L shaped tables” ironically I have mainly worked on databases at L shaped desks ever since.
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird
SELECT Top, Legs
FROM Table
JOIN Top ON Legs -
Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
omg that is so precious!
I mean your aunt, and what you said about database design. So true! -
Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird Well you could make materialized tabl… [getting dragged away from the computer]
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird evil-kermit-do-it.gif
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I'm considering a reality show where people have to do the job that other people THINK their job is.
@futurebird @mansr I finally have a job now with a title people understand. But there are some doozies on my resume. “UX developer”, “Multimedia Author.”
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
Probably a good thing she never heard you talk about spread sheets
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
@futurebird @gbargoud The Anarchist's Workbench by Christopher Schwarz for woodworking instructions and an autobiography.
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I try to remember to always refer to them as "database tables" in Email for this reason. Also "data fields". Also "columns" and "rows" if someone has used a spreadsheet but not a database.
@richpuchalsky @futurebird At my last job, we had to use "properties" instead of "fields", because we were working on agricultural data...
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird My job title was once "UNIX engineer".
My dear granny thought I worked with eunuchs...
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird at least I can center a wooden table.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird Lmao
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird
the hard part is getting the bottoms of the feet co-planar and equally distributed around the center. And on that topic, it seems a geometry teacher like you would have an unfair advantage. -
@futurebird
the hard part is getting the bottoms of the feet co-planar and equally distributed around the center. And on that topic, it seems a geometry teacher like you would have an unfair advantage.@futurebird oh and I forgot the even harder part: making the tops of the legs co-planar with a plane parallel to that used for the feet. Unless you're one of those greedy people who wants all the food to slide towards them at dinnertime.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird LOL!!
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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
@futurebird @gbargoud that would be a very bad time for your table to denormalize!
