Every Monty Python Sketch:

[lana@beige.party]

Every Monty Python Sketch:

POLICEMAN: Oi! what are you doing with that corpse?!

MAN DRAGGING A CORPSE: what corpse

POLICEMAN: That corpse! I can clearly see you are dragging a corpse through the streets of London!

MAN DRAGGING A CORPSE: oh you mean *this* corpse. Well I was obviously planning on throwing it over there near the river, innit.

POLICEMAN: You can't just be lobbing the bodies of recently departed women in a random gully!

MAN DRAGGING A CORPSE: his name's Dennis.

POLICEMAN: what??

MAN DRAGGING A CORPSE: he's not a woman, he was called Dennis.

POLICEMAN: well I couldn't bloody ask him could I? He's dead!

CORPSE: I'm not quite dead

MAN DRAGGING A NOT QUITE DEAD CORPSE: yes you are you'll be dead in a moment

POLICEMAN: Look here you bint, you can't just be willy nilly depositing Dennises in a ditch, can you? That's fly-tipping!

MAN DRAGGING A NOT QUITE DEAD CORPSE: yeah well somebody's probably going to come and get it won't they?

POLICEMAN: who would do that?

MAN DRAGGING A NOT QUITE DEAD CORPSE: well I don't know! Could be a roving band of elderly Norwegian women trying to make a pie out of it!

POLICEMAN: don't be ridiculous

ØLD NØRWEGIAN WØMAN: That's a løvely løøking dead bødy! Were yøu planning øn leaving that 'ere?

MAN DRAGGING A NOT QUITE DEAD CORPSE: yeah I was planning on it

ØLD NØRWEGIAN WØMAN: I'll take it! We'll 'ave cørpse pie all week!

MAN: oooh lovely stuff. There you go.

ØLD NØRWEGIAN WØMAN DRAGGING A NØT QUITE DEAD CØRPSE: tøødle pip!

CØRPSE: *weakly* I like pie...

POLICEMAN: right. well. uhm.

MAN: ...

POLICEMAN: *stands awkwardly in English*

MAN: wanna come back to mine, then?

POLICEMAN: yeah alright

INTERJECTING REPORTER: no no no no NO STOP THIS AT ONCE we'll have no more of this bloody nonsense while I'm running this television programme. This is getting far too silly. Honestly, I don't know who on earth would watch something like this let alone write it and film it. Now. We're going to start this sketch from the beginning once more but you must promise not to watch it this time. I repeat: do not watch the following sketch as it is far too sill—

CARTOON FOOT DESCENDING FROM THE CEILING: *fart noise*