What the actual fuck.
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@sundogplanets One… million… satellites!? 🤯
Even ignoring all the *other* issues…
I imagine those wouldn't exactly be tiny cubesats. So how does 30 per launch sound? Build enough of those satellites and launchers to maintain a launch cadence of one launch per day, and that kind of a constellation is *90 years off* per my calculator. Assuming no failed launches and no failures in-orbit and no replacements needed for that time, naturally. And they'll cram all that into sun-synch orbits? WTAF?
I really can't help but feel that someone, somewhere, saw the term "megaconstellation" and said "let's have an *actual* mega-constellation!"
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets I would ask if you were fucking serious and why the FCC hasn't thrown it out, but calling the people left there "clownshoes" is an unforgivable insult to the footwear of professional entertainers.
Also, worth noting, that isn't even fucking *ZERO* on the Kardashev because that's not even a goddamn relevant scale. Please somebody start fucking executing these techbro oligarchs to save the rest of us.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets at this number of satellites, we're in the domain where the Russians and Chinese might start shooting them down as they would take up orbital real estate for their own networks to compete with Starlink
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@spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets but I can still shoot them once they're caught in a net though right?
@kwayk42 🤭🤍
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets They will absolutely rubber stamp it. The orange dictator will see to it.
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@sundogplanets They will absolutely rubber stamp it. The orange dictator will see to it.
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@spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets but I can still shoot them once they're caught in a net though right?
@kwayk42 @dougwade @sundogplanets if you shoot them they become a hazard for everything up there.
What's worse than a million starlinks
Several billion in trackable small starlinks -
"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets The CO2 footprint for the launches alone must be terrible?
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
The world's most heartbreaking six-word stories:
1906: For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.
2026: Orbital data centers for artificial intelligence.
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I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social
Added to my To Read list.
Enjoy the sunrise and birdies. Hope you got a bit of sleep
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
Bezos: Oh yeah? Well AWS will put TWO million data centers in orbit!
China: Let 5 million space data centers bloom!
Musk: Well, then SpaceX will put TEN million centers in orbit!
Bezos: Fine! ELEVENTY million AWS centers!
Musk: Hah! TWELVETY million SpaceX centers! Each with a cool robot!
Bezos: Meh-meh-meh-robot-meh. Amazon has robots.
Musk: But not COOL robots.
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@cy @sundogplanets
so you're saying I should build it on a boat? -
@cy @sundogplanets
so you're saying I should build it on a boat? -
SpaceX's hype has never been constrained by facts.
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets it's incredibly embarrassing and pathetic that a lot of the techie sorts with access to power now are people who…like I say, there's no such thing as reading too much science fiction, but there IS such a thing as reading too LITTLE stuff that ISN'T science fiction.
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@cy @sundogplanets I mean if I'm in international waters with a gun powerful enough to shoot down satellites, I'm pretty sure I'll be good
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I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social this rec made me happy to see because it’s published by Hachette (where I work) and I just got a copy from the office to gift to a family member who’s been a bit too AI-optimistic.
🤬
