What the actual fuck.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Other than the obvious, how on earth are you supposed to be able to maneuver such a large number of satellites in extremely close proximity in orbit to prevent them from colliding with each other or anything else at all? With that number of satellites, even if just one collision were to occur at some point, it would be beyond disastrous (at worse, we'd have like many thousands of satellites/junk concurrently raining down into Earth kinda thing).
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@cy @sundogplanets I mean if I'm in international waters with a gun powerful enough to shoot down satellites, I'm pretty sure I'll be good
Entire US navy vs 1 boat boi with a wave motion gun -
@sundogplanets They will absolutely rubber stamp it. The orange dictator will see to it.
@schrotthaufen @sundogplanets
Elon paid for it so…
#ImpeachTheGQP -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Orbiting data centres are stupid for a huge range of reasons, not the least powering them, cooling them and fixing them. Just another idiotic idea from Musk (Optimius, Cybertruck, The Boring Company, “Full” self driving, etc….).
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@sundogplanets it's incredibly embarrassing and pathetic that a lot of the techie sorts with access to power now are people who…like I say, there's no such thing as reading too much science fiction, but there IS such a thing as reading too LITTLE stuff that ISN'T science fiction.
@nev Or when you're reading science fiction which was intended to be a warning, and treating it as something that should be done because it's Cool
!"I have read Do Not Build The Torment Nexus and decided to dedicate the rest of my life to ensuring that we *never* have a Torment Nexus" said no billionaire ever.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
“Orbital data centers are the most efficient way to meet the accelerating demand for AI computing power,”
Demand isn't accelerating, you're forcing it on everyone you assholes!! We can't NOT use it when you make it an integral part of every product you sell ASSHOLES!
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets my condolences. The moment I saw this story, my thoughts were with you.
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The sunrise/sunset line is the terminator. So, Sun-synchronous (i.e., passes every day at the same local solar time) LEO on the plane of the terminator.
Whatever it's called, it's a horrible idea. Want a ringed planet, you know where to find it. One of these days they will come up with a clever (?) plan to dismantle the Moon to give old Earth a ring too... until the rocks start colliding with each other and decaying into our atmosphere.
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“Orbital data centers are the most efficient way to meet the accelerating demand for AI computing power,”
Demand isn't accelerating, you're forcing it on everyone you assholes!! We can't NOT use it when you make it an integral part of every product you sell ASSHOLES!
@mycotropic @sundogplanets and orbital days centers are a horrible idea
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets
The Kardashev "levels" are pure fantasy, not even good SF. -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets I am fine with this, not because I am happy with having our eternal view of the heavens f*cked up by stinking billionaires and impotent regulation, but because this situation is unmanageable from a physics and mechanics perspective. If all the operators in this sector do this then when 1 sat fails its going to be a big issue. It will make orbital space unaccessible which to me is better as it forces us to show respect and consideration!
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I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets I do feel like we're on the path to Neil Stephenson's Seven Eves somehow
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I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social I have three non-techbro mentality/religion reasons for this:
1) Distract from Tesla's poor earnings
2) Distract from the Epstein files
3) Bezos says he's going to launch zillions of data center satellites so Musk just wants to nab scamee money for it firstBut yeah, also Musk is a moron.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Skynet
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets That's what everyone in datacenters wants - unfixable latency and multimillion dollar costs to replace equipment..
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Trash filling space with trash.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Just in case anyone needs to see it: this can't work with today's or even near-future technology.
https://pivot-to-ai.com/2025/12/01/ai-data-centres-in-space-why-dcs-in-space-cant-work
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@nev Or when you're reading science fiction which was intended to be a warning, and treating it as something that should be done because it's Cool
!"I have read Do Not Build The Torment Nexus and decided to dedicate the rest of my life to ensuring that we *never* have a Torment Nexus" said no billionaire ever.
@mkj @sundogplanets god knows the Western Canon
is stodgy and Eurocentric and male-centric and all that, but like, Greek legends and the Bible and such give you the 101 versions that science fiction writers are adapting/riffing on/inspired by. what i'm trying to say is, even the most basic bitch humanities education could have helped these people -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
"From the vanity of the tech-bros who've read science-fiction but not understood it, O Lord, deliver us."
