I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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[Repost] Today I hope John Roberts went to the doctor for his oozing crotch fungus and painfully itchy, eruptive heat rash and also because his seasonal allergies are starting up again, and the doctor prescribed a couple different creams and also a cortisone injection that felt like boiling acid was injected into his arm muscle because that's how cortisone injections feel, and then he had to sit in the waiting room for 15 minutes to make sure he didn't have an allergic reaction to a medicine designed to block allergies, and the whole 15 minutes another patient in a Make America Healthy Again t-shirt coughed constantly while unmasked, and even after he left and got to work his arm still hurt. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Every day since January 25th I have posted a new, creative curse against U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. I thought they were pretty funny, and wondered why this thread wasn't getting more traction. Yesterday a nice person pointed out that the privacy settings were set to semi-private, so most people haven't seen any of that work. If you're interested, please just scroll up. Today's post – PUBLIC! – will follow shortly. #IHopeJohnRoberts.]
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Every day since January 25th I have posted a new, creative curse against U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. I thought they were pretty funny, and wondered why this thread wasn't getting more traction. Yesterday a nice person pointed out that the privacy settings were set to semi-private, so most people haven't seen any of that work. If you're interested, please just scroll up. Today's post – PUBLIC! – will follow shortly. #IHopeJohnRoberts.]
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts is taking public transportation to work because his license is still suspended following his drunk driving arrest during the Grok debacle earlier this month and when he asked his wife for a ride she just bared her teeth and snarled, but the trains in D.C. have been slowed to half speed today because of the unusual heat caused by climate change so he arrived at the court building sweaty and late and all the justices had to reschedule their morning conference and are salty about it.
https://flipboard.social/@newsguyusa/116603267171298098 -
Every day since January 25th I have posted a new, creative curse against U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. I thought they were pretty funny, and wondered why this thread wasn't getting more traction. Yesterday a nice person pointed out that the privacy settings were set to semi-private, so most people haven't seen any of that work. If you're interested, please just scroll up. Today's post – PUBLIC! – will follow shortly. #IHopeJohnRoberts.]
This thread should be available in hardcover at the local book store. Or maybe as a calendar. :^)
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This thread should be available in hardcover at the local book store. Or maybe as a calendar. :^)
@icastico Aw, thanks! (I love the calendar idea!)
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts is taking public transportation to work because his license is still suspended following his drunk driving arrest during the Grok debacle earlier this month and when he asked his wife for a ride she just bared her teeth and snarled, but the trains in D.C. have been slowed to half speed today because of the unusual heat caused by climate change so he arrived at the court building sweaty and late and all the justices had to reschedule their morning conference and are salty about it.
https://flipboard.social/@newsguyusa/116603267171298098Today #IHopeJohnRoberts finally gets over his embarrassment enough to inform the US Marshals Service (which handles Supreme Court security) that his driver's license has been suspended and of course they rally like the professionals they are and immediately arrange to have a marshal drive him to and from work which they've been offering to do for security for years anyway, and he's fine with this because he likes a lot of the marshals he's seen around the Court especially the one who believe it or not sort of looks like Tommy Lee Jones and also that girl one who reminds him of Jennifer Garner, but when it's time for him to get his ride home this evening it turns out his regular driver will be the youngest marshal on the Court's detail, who still has some residual acne and a weird voice and whom Roberts thinks has a weirdly ethnic-smelling body odor for a white kid.
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts finally gets over his embarrassment enough to inform the US Marshals Service (which handles Supreme Court security) that his driver's license has been suspended and of course they rally like the professionals they are and immediately arrange to have a marshal drive him to and from work which they've been offering to do for security for years anyway, and he's fine with this because he likes a lot of the marshals he's seen around the Court especially the one who believe it or not sort of looks like Tommy Lee Jones and also that girl one who reminds him of Jennifer Garner, but when it's time for him to get his ride home this evening it turns out his regular driver will be the youngest marshal on the Court's detail, who still has some residual acne and a weird voice and whom Roberts thinks has a weirdly ethnic-smelling body odor for a white kid.
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts suffers persistent low back pain.
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@ChemicalEyeGuy It could be muscular!
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts suffers persistent low back pain.
Today #ihopejohnroberts attends a celebration of life for an old and valued mentor and friend from his youth, and it's supposed to be celebratory and inspirational but actually after being reminded how young and idealistic they all used to be the emptiness inside him now becomes more starkly dark and painful and he comes away feeling even more broken and soulless than he did before.
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Today #ihopejohnroberts attends a celebration of life for an old and valued mentor and friend from his youth, and it's supposed to be celebratory and inspirational but actually after being reminded how young and idealistic they all used to be the emptiness inside him now becomes more starkly dark and painful and he comes away feeling even more broken and soulless than he did before.
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts is taking the day after his childhood friend's memorial service to explore some places that were important to him in his childhood, but they're all gone now, even the funky little cinema where he watched his first movie (Snow White) and the little tourist train and the Ye Olde Style ice cream store, all gone now, and the only place left that he remembers really clearly is the playground where that older kid beat him up so badly that he went home crying and his dad was there and yelled at him to man up, and that memory isn't very nice.
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Today #ihopejohnroberts attends a celebration of life for an old and valued mentor and friend from his youth, and it's supposed to be celebratory and inspirational but actually after being reminded how young and idealistic they all used to be the emptiness inside him now becomes more starkly dark and painful and he comes away feeling even more broken and soulless than he did before.
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts is taking the day after his childhood friend's memorial service to explore some places that were important to him in his childhood, but they're all gone now, even the funky little cinema where he watched his first movie (Snow White) and the little tourist train and the Ye Olde Style ice cream store, all gone now, and the only place left that he remembers really clearly is the playground where that older kid beat him up so badly that he went home crying and his dad was there and yelled at him to man up, and that memory isn't very nice.
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts is taking the day after his childhood friend's memorial service to explore some places that were important to him in his childhood, but they're all gone now, even the funky little cinema where he watched his first movie (Snow White) and the little tourist train and the Ye Olde Style ice cream store, all gone now, and the only place left that he remembers really clearly is the playground where that older kid beat him up so badly that he went home crying and his dad was there and yelled at him to man up, and that memory isn't very nice.
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts wishes he could take a tropical vacation all by himself to sort of think and heal but he can't so he's a little sad.
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts wishes he could take a tropical vacation all by himself to sort of think and heal but he can't so he's a little sad.
#IHopeJohnRoberts's butt is annoyingly itchy all day today.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts's butt is annoyingly itchy all day today.
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts has cold pizza for breakfast and the crust has gotten soggy in the refrigerator overnight.
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts has cold pizza for breakfast and the crust has gotten soggy in the refrigerator overnight.
When he woke up today #IHopeJohnRoberts had really icky sticky smelly morning mouth and so brushed his teeth extra vigorously with extra toothpaste and then went downstairs to the kitchen and forgot and took a big swig of grapefruit juice.
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When he woke up today #IHopeJohnRoberts had really icky sticky smelly morning mouth and so brushed his teeth extra vigorously with extra toothpaste and then went downstairs to the kitchen and forgot and took a big swig of grapefruit juice.
This morning I hope John Roberts goes to his dresser and doesn't have any clean socks and realizes the dirty laundry hamper is overflowing but doesn't consciously notice that it's all his clothes not hers and he calls to his wife but she doesn't answer and he goes downstairs but she's not there and the guest bed hasn't been slept in and he realizes he hasn't seen her for a while and briefly wonders whether she's gone to visit her sister or ??? and then he puts on yesterday's socks again and goes to work a little disturbed but still not quite realizing. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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This morning I hope John Roberts goes to his dresser and doesn't have any clean socks and realizes the dirty laundry hamper is overflowing but doesn't consciously notice that it's all his clothes not hers and he calls to his wife but she doesn't answer and he goes downstairs but she's not there and the guest bed hasn't been slept in and he realizes he hasn't seen her for a while and briefly wonders whether she's gone to visit her sister or ??? and then he puts on yesterday's socks again and goes to work a little disturbed but still not quite realizing. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I hope last night John Roberts slept fitfully because his wife still isn't home and today he gets up thinking he'll do a little work on the lawn and garden on a pleasant Saturday morning but when he goes out to the garage even the gardening tools are missing and he's starting to wonder if she's just helping someone do yardwork or if something more serious is happening in their marriage. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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I hope last night John Roberts slept fitfully because his wife still isn't home and today he gets up thinking he'll do a little work on the lawn and garden on a pleasant Saturday morning but when he goes out to the garage even the gardening tools are missing and he's starting to wonder if she's just helping someone do yardwork or if something more serious is happening in their marriage. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Today because his wife's away somewhere (where?) #IHopeJohnRoberts thinks it would be swell to do the D.C. Signature Brew Tour but then he remembers that picture someone took of him when he accidentally drank a roofied cocktail at a DC power party, and then that he was arrested for drunk driving after the debacle with Grok, and realizes that if he ever drinks in public again he will be mocked and reviled publicly even more than he is now, so instead he just pours himself a glass of grapefruit juice, forgetting again that he had just brushed his teeth.
https://washington.org/event/dc-signature-brew-tour -
Today because his wife's away somewhere (where?) #IHopeJohnRoberts thinks it would be swell to do the D.C. Signature Brew Tour but then he remembers that picture someone took of him when he accidentally drank a roofied cocktail at a DC power party, and then that he was arrested for drunk driving after the debacle with Grok, and realizes that if he ever drinks in public again he will be mocked and reviled publicly even more than he is now, so instead he just pours himself a glass of grapefruit juice, forgetting again that he had just brushed his teeth.
https://washington.org/event/dc-signature-brew-tourThis morning I'm hoping that John Roberts walks out his front door looking up at the beautiful scattered clouds blue sky and steps squarely on a dead rat that inexplicably was lying in the center of his doormat. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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This morning I'm hoping that John Roberts walks out his front door looking up at the beautiful scattered clouds blue sky and steps squarely on a dead rat that inexplicably was lying in the center of his doormat. #IHopeJohnRoberts
This morning I hope there was another big dead rat right in the center of John Roberts' front doormat. Second day in a row. Weird. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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@FiddleSix @ELS I wonder what's up, myself. It's a mystery to us all! I guess we'll have to wait till tomorrow for the next installment!
