Goodmorning from the foggy Danish countryside 🇩🇰
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Question about train etiquette:
I'm in an ICE. Basic zone (not silent zone / mobile phone).
There's ten people. Mostly individuals. Some have conversations.
The man of a middle aged couple was using his phone to loudly play modern Greek folk music
.After 10 min I went & asked "Excuse me, can you please use headphones?". He waved as in "I don't get it" but turned it off as his wife smacked him.
Two people gave a thumbs up but no-one else had said a thing. Was I the rude one?
@Pepijn playing music out loud (or watching TV, or other entertainment) is rude in enclosed spaces not dedicated to having that experience together. It's borderline in open spaces where you can leave if you choose, but it's unacceptable when you can't leave.
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Question about train etiquette:
I'm in an ICE. Basic zone (not silent zone / mobile phone).
There's ten people. Mostly individuals. Some have conversations.
The man of a middle aged couple was using his phone to loudly play modern Greek folk music
.After 10 min I went & asked "Excuse me, can you please use headphones?". He waved as in "I don't get it" but turned it off as his wife smacked him.
Two people gave a thumbs up but no-one else had said a thing. Was I the rude one?
Fun update on the man playing modern Greek folk music. First of all: it was modern Turkish Cypriot folk music. Same thing?
Since his wife smacked him 50min ago the man has been silently sitting there, arms crossed, looking at the ceiling in grumpy contemplation.
He only got up for a bathroom break, during which his wife turned around and in perfect English apologised for his behaviour. She mentioned they're going on a family visit in Turkey & Cyprus.
I really hope they spend some time apart.
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Question about train etiquette:
I'm in an ICE. Basic zone (not silent zone / mobile phone).
There's ten people. Mostly individuals. Some have conversations.
The man of a middle aged couple was using his phone to loudly play modern Greek folk music
.After 10 min I went & asked "Excuse me, can you please use headphones?". He waved as in "I don't get it" but turned it off as his wife smacked him.
Two people gave a thumbs up but no-one else had said a thing. Was I the rude one?
@Pepijn nicely done. Definitely not the arsehole.
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Question about train etiquette:
I'm in an ICE. Basic zone (not silent zone / mobile phone).
There's ten people. Mostly individuals. Some have conversations.
The man of a middle aged couple was using his phone to loudly play modern Greek folk music
.After 10 min I went & asked "Excuse me, can you please use headphones?". He waved as in "I don't get it" but turned it off as his wife smacked him.
Two people gave a thumbs up but no-one else had said a thing. Was I the rude one?
@Pepijn you weren't rude. The wife was rude but right. He was just rude.
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Question about train etiquette:
I'm in an ICE. Basic zone (not silent zone / mobile phone).
There's ten people. Mostly individuals. Some have conversations.
The man of a middle aged couple was using his phone to loudly play modern Greek folk music
.After 10 min I went & asked "Excuse me, can you please use headphones?". He waved as in "I don't get it" but turned it off as his wife smacked him.
Two people gave a thumbs up but no-one else had said a thing. Was I the rude one?
@Pepijn
The first one to act in a mildly - minimally - decisive way. -
Fun update on the man playing modern Greek folk music. First of all: it was modern Turkish Cypriot folk music. Same thing?
Since his wife smacked him 50min ago the man has been silently sitting there, arms crossed, looking at the ceiling in grumpy contemplation.
He only got up for a bathroom break, during which his wife turned around and in perfect English apologised for his behaviour. She mentioned they're going on a family visit in Turkey & Cyprus.
I really hope they spend some time apart.
Just to say: I know the dude was rude. What I often struggle with is that no-one else speaks up yet do look annoyed and afterwards give me a thumbs-up
In Denmark smoking on platforms is a no-no, people don't like it. Yet some see the person speaking up as committing a no-no as well..
I'm not naturally confrontational & despite (or in part because of that) going out of my way to talk with strangers this leaves me with a feeling of "should I have?".
Maybe I just want ya'll to speak up
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Just to say: I know the dude was rude. What I often struggle with is that no-one else speaks up yet do look annoyed and afterwards give me a thumbs-up
In Denmark smoking on platforms is a no-no, people don't like it. Yet some see the person speaking up as committing a no-no as well..
I'm not naturally confrontational & despite (or in part because of that) going out of my way to talk with strangers this leaves me with a feeling of "should I have?".
Maybe I just want ya'll to speak up
@Pepijn have you heard the phrase "active bystander"?
Here, employers are putting lots of effort in training people to be more active bystanders, because so many people will walk past the worst things because they don't feel like they can intervene.
I got the sense in the Netherlands that this wasn't as much of a problem...
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@Pepijn have you heard the phrase "active bystander"?
Here, employers are putting lots of effort in training people to be more active bystanders, because so many people will walk past the worst things because they don't feel like they can intervene.
I got the sense in the Netherlands that this wasn't as much of a problem...
@christianp @Pepijn I feel like people aren't as hesitant and careful to be polite to strangers in Germany as in other places I've lived. I have witnessed someone on the commuter train ask a stranger to stop playing music. But I've also witnessed people making eye contact and "ew" faces as they noticed a smell of weed being lit up on an ICE, but choosing not to intervene. I'm hesitant to be the one to speak up, as a foreigner with incomplete knowledge of German etiquette, but I was really tempted that time, especially with kids present.
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Somehow the worlds smallest ICE is parked in there.
Edit: Turns out https://nordbahntrasse.de/ is a big thing.
Edit 2: yes I'm a shit tourist. I usually just walk around in ever larger circles until I hit a museum, old train or some interesting person.
@Pepijn Obligatory link... https://ruthe.de/cartoons/strip_1246.jpg
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Just to say: I know the dude was rude. What I often struggle with is that no-one else speaks up yet do look annoyed and afterwards give me a thumbs-up
In Denmark smoking on platforms is a no-no, people don't like it. Yet some see the person speaking up as committing a no-no as well..
I'm not naturally confrontational & despite (or in part because of that) going out of my way to talk with strangers this leaves me with a feeling of "should I have?".
Maybe I just want ya'll to speak up
@Pepijn I think most people are scared to, if you see someone has transgressed a social norm by playing music loudly your estimation of the likelihood that will further transgress social norms by becoming aggressive or violent increases so you're scared to provoke it. I've twice asked men on trains to wear headphones and had an aggressive response, one frighteningly so. Then I noticed I was only willing to ask younger women to do it and that felt sexist so I stopped entirely and just wear noise cancelling headphones now
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Just to say: I know the dude was rude. What I often struggle with is that no-one else speaks up yet do look annoyed and afterwards give me a thumbs-up
In Denmark smoking on platforms is a no-no, people don't like it. Yet some see the person speaking up as committing a no-no as well..
I'm not naturally confrontational & despite (or in part because of that) going out of my way to talk with strangers this leaves me with a feeling of "should I have?".
Maybe I just want ya'll to speak up
Anyway. Moooooooving on. Before Frankfurt the #ICE4 I'm on hit 265 (top speed) and then booped up to 268 (topper speed?) km/hr.
I didn't know they went above the officially listed speed. Fun
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Anyway. Moooooooving on. Before Frankfurt the #ICE4 I'm on hit 265 (top speed) and then booped up to 268 (topper speed?) km/hr.
I didn't know they went above the officially listed speed. Fun
@Pepijn is the driver late for lunch?
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Question about train etiquette:
I'm in an ICE. Basic zone (not silent zone / mobile phone).
There's ten people. Mostly individuals. Some have conversations.
The man of a middle aged couple was using his phone to loudly play modern Greek folk music
.After 10 min I went & asked "Excuse me, can you please use headphones?". He waved as in "I don't get it" but turned it off as his wife smacked him.
Two people gave a thumbs up but no-one else had said a thing. Was I the rude one?
@Pepijn No. Well done, sir.
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Just to say: I know the dude was rude. What I often struggle with is that no-one else speaks up yet do look annoyed and afterwards give me a thumbs-up
In Denmark smoking on platforms is a no-no, people don't like it. Yet some see the person speaking up as committing a no-no as well..
I'm not naturally confrontational & despite (or in part because of that) going out of my way to talk with strangers this leaves me with a feeling of "should I have?".
Maybe I just want ya'll to speak up
@Pepijn Ik ben zoveel mogelijk gestopt met mensen aanspreken op gedrag, krijg meestal meteen van die waar bemoei je je mee commentaar. Reis daardoor ook niet meer in de stilte coupe want ik wordt gek van al die mensen die de regels overtreden.
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@Pepijn Ik ben zoveel mogelijk gestopt met mensen aanspreken op gedrag, krijg meestal meteen van die waar bemoei je je mee commentaar. Reis daardoor ook niet meer in de stilte coupe want ik wordt gek van al die mensen die de regels overtreden.
@colorcoded Ah. Ik begrijp het maar het is wel jammer.
Ik heb er persoonlijk niet zo veel last van als iemand in eerste instantie negatief reageert. De meeste interacties lijken ook goed te lopen.
Uiteindelijk heb ik ook wat in het achterhoofd dat het niet voor iedereen mogelijk is om de confrontatie (als het zo voelt, ik zie het altijd als dialoog) aan te gaan. "Maatschappij dat ben jij.." Dus als ik het niet doe gaat dat weer ten koste van anderen etc etc.
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@colorcoded Ah. Ik begrijp het maar het is wel jammer.
Ik heb er persoonlijk niet zo veel last van als iemand in eerste instantie negatief reageert. De meeste interacties lijken ook goed te lopen.
Uiteindelijk heb ik ook wat in het achterhoofd dat het niet voor iedereen mogelijk is om de confrontatie (als het zo voelt, ik zie het altijd als dialoog) aan te gaan. "Maatschappij dat ben jij.." Dus als ik het niet doe gaat dat weer ten koste van anderen etc etc.
@Pepijn elke dag in de trein het werk van de controleur doen, die er langs loopt en het negeert werd me wat te veel. Als het echt bont is grijp ik nog wel in, maar door de stilte coupe te verlaten werd reizen weer stuk behapbaarder (als AuDHD'er koste het teveel energie anders).
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Anyway. Moooooooving on. Before Frankfurt the #ICE4 I'm on hit 265 (top speed) and then booped up to 268 (topper speed?) km/hr.
I didn't know they went above the officially listed speed. Fun
@Pepijn maybe it wants to keep up with its older brother ICE3!
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Anyway. Moooooooving on. Before Frankfurt the #ICE4 I'm on hit 265 (top speed) and then booped up to 268 (topper speed?) km/hr.
I didn't know they went above the officially listed speed. Fun
I..
...helped make a 4yr old cry.
There's two kids doing almost the same route as me. Their mom got them each a fun free DB toy.
The 9yr got the ICE. The 4yr old a... bus.
As the 9yr old wants to speak english we discussed the various types of trains. Steam-trains, ICE, night-train etc.
"but why does bahn have a bus?"
"so if the trains don't work people can still travel"
This was relayed to the 4yr old as: you got the stupid toy. Trains are better.
Instant tears.
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I..
...helped make a 4yr old cry.
There's two kids doing almost the same route as me. Their mom got them each a fun free DB toy.
The 9yr got the ICE. The 4yr old a... bus.
As the 9yr old wants to speak english we discussed the various types of trains. Steam-trains, ICE, night-train etc.
"but why does bahn have a bus?"
"so if the trains don't work people can still travel"
This was relayed to the 4yr old as: you got the stupid toy. Trains are better.
Instant tears.
@Pepijn to be fair: trains ARE better.
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I..
...helped make a 4yr old cry.
There's two kids doing almost the same route as me. Their mom got them each a fun free DB toy.
The 9yr got the ICE. The 4yr old a... bus.
As the 9yr old wants to speak english we discussed the various types of trains. Steam-trains, ICE, night-train etc.
"but why does bahn have a bus?"
"so if the trains don't work people can still travel"
This was relayed to the 4yr old as: you got the stupid toy. Trains are better.
Instant tears.
@Pepijn this is Benny IC Bus, a failed Intercity Bus Service in Response to FlixBus. Clearly bonkers
