Instead of segregating toilet use by gender, can we split it into 'people who piss everywhere and don't clean up after themselves' and 'everyone else'?
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Instead of segregating toilet use by gender, can we split it into 'people who piss everywhere and don't clean up after themselves' and 'everyone else'?
@david_chisnall This is a Noah's Ark problem. Can guarantee there'll be piss everywhere in the 'clean' toilets.
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there will be an annual exam
@orsinium @jneem @david_chisnall not to be confused with "an anal exam"
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@david_chisnall or maybe "people who wash their hands"?
Just requires stalls with individual sinks and a lock that doesn't open until the water has been turned on and ran for at least 30 seconds..
Revelant
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@oblomov @david_chisnall a Danish mayor was allegedly trapped in a bathroom some years ago during a business visit. The embarrassed employees had to tell him, that the door wouldn't open until he had turned on the water...
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@david_chisnall that's basically segregating between men and women, just with extra steps.
@burnoutqueen Sadly not in my experience. @david_chisnall
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@oblomov @david_chisnall a Danish mayor was allegedly trapped in a bathroom some years ago during a business visit. The embarrassed employees had to tell him, that the door wouldn't open until he had turned on the water...
@MThaastrup @david_chisnall oh. my. god.
OK, joke time. Guy goes to the restaurant, orders, and as he waits for the order to come in he looks around and starts noticing that the waiters have a spoon in their shirt pocket. When the waiter brings the first course, he asks what this is about, and the waiter says: «You see, they called in one of those agencies that help make a business more efficient, and they observed that the most common piece of cutlery that the patrons drop is the spoon.
(>)
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@MThaastrup @david_chisnall oh. my. god.
OK, joke time. Guy goes to the restaurant, orders, and as he waits for the order to come in he looks around and starts noticing that the waiters have a spoon in their shirt pocket. When the waiter brings the first course, he asks what this is about, and the waiter says: «You see, they called in one of those agencies that help make a business more efficient, and they observed that the most common piece of cutlery that the patrons drop is the spoon.
(>)
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@MThaastrup @david_chisnall oh. my. god.
OK, joke time. Guy goes to the restaurant, orders, and as he waits for the order to come in he looks around and starts noticing that the waiters have a spoon in their shirt pocket. When the waiter brings the first course, he asks what this is about, and the waiter says: «You see, they called in one of those agencies that help make a business more efficient, and they observed that the most common piece of cutlery that the patrons drop is the spoon.
(>)
So the waiters carry spoons in their pockets so that when a spoon drops, they can …» At the moment, someone drops a spoon, and the waiter hurries over, gives them the spoon he has in his pocket, and takes the other one, before going back to finish the explanation «… replace the spoon instantly, without a full roundtrip to the kitchens.»
The waiter moves on, and the patron keeps observing. When the waiters comes back with the second course, the patron asks:
(>)
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So the waiters carry spoons in their pockets so that when a spoon drops, they can …» At the moment, someone drops a spoon, and the waiter hurries over, gives them the spoon he has in his pocket, and takes the other one, before going back to finish the explanation «… replace the spoon instantly, without a full roundtrip to the kitchens.»
The waiter moves on, and the patron keeps observing. When the waiters comes back with the second course, the patron asks:
(>)
«And what about that piece of string coming out of your trousers?»
«Ah, very observant, sir, many notice the spoon, but you're the first one to notice the piece of string. This comes still from the same efficiency analysis. The agent noticed that the second most wasteful activity for the waiters is having to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. So with this piece of string one can pull it out and do the business without dirtying their hands.»
(>)
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@burnoutqueen Sadly not in my experience. @david_chisnall
@Flux @david_chisnall are you a trans man
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@david_chisnall @jneem At birth everyone is in the piss everywhere and don't clean up after yourself group. Some of us learn to be better over time.
@Plumbert @david_chisnall @jneem Not me! At birth I used a diaper instead of pissing everywhere & not cleaning up after myself!
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«And what about that piece of string coming out of your trousers?»
«Ah, very observant, sir, many notice the spoon, but you're the first one to notice the piece of string. This comes still from the same efficiency analysis. The agent noticed that the second most wasteful activity for the waiters is having to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. So with this piece of string one can pull it out and do the business without dirtying their hands.»
(>)
«OK,» says the patron «so you use the string to pull it out, but how do you push it back in without touching it?»
«I don't know about the others, sir, but I use the spoon.»
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@Flux @david_chisnall are you a trans man
@burnoutqueen @david_chisnall No, but I've shared facilities with enough women to know they are absolutely not immune to making a pissy mess.
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@david_chisnall that's basically segregating between men and women, just with extra steps.
@burnoutqueen @david_chisnall Do you think a penis has a cone shaped shot pattern? For most people it's a very accurate stream.
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@burnoutqueen @david_chisnall No, but I've shared facilities with enough women to know they are absolutely not immune to making a pissy mess.
@Flux @burnoutqueen @david_chisnall As someone who has cleaned fast food restaurant restrooms, I can confirm.
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Instead of segregating toilet use by gender, can we split it into 'people who piss everywhere and don't clean up after themselves' and 'everyone else'?
@david_chisnall I feel very strongly about this! If we are going to police restrooms it needs to be on these grounds!
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«OK,» says the patron «so you use the string to pull it out, but how do you push it back in without touching it?»
«I don't know about the others, sir, but I use the spoon.»
@oblomov @david_chisnall God no 🫣
