Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[lapis@elekk.xyz]

@futurebird how else am I supposed to speed charge my phone?????

[lapis@elekk.xyz]

@futurebird wait shit it actually says they're charging ports.

uh... uh

[lapis@elekk.xyz]

@futurebird Where else am I supposed to attach an external hard drive to store my nice pornography in a folder labeled "Definitely not Niche Pornography"

[pronounshe@lgbtqia.space]

@a2_4am @llewelly @futurebird

25-pin cereal ports stay crunchy in milk.

[llewelly@sauropods.win]

@maypop_neocities @a2_4am @futurebird Why, the Milky Way, of course ...

[edsoldat@universeodon.com]

@futurebird For downloading evidence packs should the resultant food require launch of formal legal proceedings.

The second port provides additional capacity to cover the risk of physical and emotional harm inherent in certain British recipes (typically ones involving tripe)

[spacelifeform@infosec.exchange]

@futurebird

To livestream the popcorn popping.

[anguadelphine@mk.absturztau.be]

@futurebird@sauropods.win

To plug an MP3 player into so the microwave can have music while it works?
Maybe just to transfer tracks?

Or, download ports so the Food Polis can monitor what people have been eating.

Most absurd things I can think of offhand.

[electric_gumball@mastodon.social]

@futurebird
So you can download recipes off the internet & show the microwave what it's supposed to turn out like.

The microwave will still destroy the food, but it'll do it with full knowledge of it's crime.

[causeofbsod@wetdry.world]

@futurebird theres a USB type B port on the back, its a USB hub for your computer. When connected, the microwave is also exposed as a USB serial device allowing it to be computer controlled.

[causeofbsod@wetdry.world]

@futurebird wait i shouldnt give smart device manufacturers ideas they will do this but making it wifi connected [TM] instead

[mungencakes@kolektiva.social]

@futurebird Being a food influencer I know those are for web cams. So you can post your ramen heating up from two angles.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@Mungencakes

What do you influence the food to do exactly?

[softwaretheron@mas.to]

@lapis
I can't tell where the typo is in that sentence. Elegant.

@futurebird

[sandberg@snabelen.no]

@ehproque @futurebird Why does it need security updates? Because someone could connect a malicious device to a USB port, of course!

[lapis@elekk.xyz]

@SoftwareTheron @futurebird I didn't notice the typo lmao but I like it better this way, it's like I'm giving the microwave a gift.
a creepy gift.
but a gift nonetheless

[ojocle_olonam@mastodon.social]

@futurebird to get your food delivered to your USB capable gaming station once it is hot

[softwaretheron@mas.to]

@llewelly
You haven't tried cooking them, have you?

@robertklaschka @futurebird

[softwaretheron@mas.to]

@pthane
That only works if you reduce the frequency of the microwaves, though.

@futurebird

[greenpepper22@mastodon.social]

@futurebird for directly cooking hotdogs with electricity, reminiscent of The Hot Dogger from the 1970s . Just plug the other end of the USB cord directly into the hot dog!!