Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[korin@roark.voluminum.net]

@futurebird cereal ports

[theteapixie@mstdn.ca]

@futurebird
The manufacturer only needs you to charge once. They’re downloading your profile so as to track and sell your buying habits.

Because every business that has ever sold you anything is trying to figure out how to exploit a missed opportunity to force you to hand over your buying profile for the “opportunity” to buy their goods.

You only wanted wrong answers?

It’s so you plug in your heated pillow while you sleep with your head right beside the microwave. And you keep wondering why you dream of alpha centauri.

[hamonwry@mastodon.world]

@futurebird

These are used to power your warming trays for the Hot Pockets you just microwaved

[joelvanderwerf@mastodon.social]

@mysturji @futurebird Plus, it's a microwave mesh modem.

[lobsterofrevenge@mastodon.social]

@futurebird so that if you are lost in the woods with your microwave and your phone is dying you can plug it in.

[dsalo@digipres.club]

@futurebird For a couple of those USB-powered can fridges.

Hot pizza and cold beer, what's not to like?

[autumn@mstdn.dk]

@futurebird Command-line Microwave!

[mrgm@mastodon.social]

@futurebird For USB to RS-232 serial console access/control

[joriki@infosec.exchange]

@futurebird

you can power the microwave using your phone during a power outage

[goleztrol@mastodon.social]

@futurebird
With some cross link USB cables and a hub, connect it to the fridge and dishwasher and play multiplayer DOOM.

Don't hook up the washing machine, though. It will rotate the token, putting an early end to your KAN (kitchen appliances network) party!

[sgcrawford@dice.camp]

@futurebird how can there be a correct answer??

[glutto@mastodon.social]

@futurebird

So you can run dual hot plates.

[enron@tilde.zone]

@futurebird it's a MIDI host so you can program your yamaha DX7 with pizza rolls

[electric_gumball@mastodon.social]

@enron @futurebird
Mmmm cheesy

[leonardof@bertha.social]

@futurebird synchronized swimming

[mshiltonj@mastodon.online]

@futurebird copy your files to the microwave and nuke them for 30 seconds to sanitize them -- it's the best way to remove bugs and viruses.

[renardboy@mastodon.social]

@futurebird so you can install linux using UEFI and free your food reheating process from the shackles of proprietary software.

[cassandravert@indieweb.social]

So you can charge the toaster.

[knapjack@snac.gruntle.cc]

@futurebird@sauropods.win Oooh, now with fancy pre-defrost boot logo.

[brandonscript@appdot.net]

@futurebird daisy-chaining microwaves. The waves are compressed and sent through the USB to additional connected microwaves.