Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[faassen@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird
I don't understand, how else are you going to charge this microwave's batteries and make hot food on the back of your bicycle?

[pthane@toot.wales]

@futurebird
To plug in a printer to get a hard copy of the manual.

[nielsole@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird Wireless charging is only available inside the microwave

[jasonkarns@indieweb.social]

@futurebird project manager asked team to add presets for cooking SUBs; but the ai tool transcribed the meeting notes incorrectly

[w@11n.org]

if there's another way to charge a microwave's batteries, I don't want to know what it is

[plan_a_to_y@furry.engineer]

@futurebird because their lead designer got tricked by a "charge your phone using a microwave" video and decided to make it real.

[khm@hj.9fs.net]

SDR (software defined radiation)

[admin@mastodon.slightlycyberpunk.com]

@futurebird Potentially *correct* answer: the [microwave brand] engineers must be fans of Allen Pan:

https://www.wired.com/video/watch/video-game-microwave-that-only-cooks-while-i-play

[wrosecrans@mstdn.social]

@futurebird You plug in a USB cable and use it to stir whatever you are taking out if the microwave. Perhaps occasionally even doing it intentionally. This also charges the food to replace any electrons that got loose during cooking.

[captainpilot@mastodon.social]

@futurebird that's because you need special USB dongle to unlock the "grill" function

[apophis@yourwalls.today]

@futurebird for usb drives when you gotta cook the books real quick

[phooky@hexa.club]

@futurebird not enough room for a parallel port

[hopland@snabelen.no]

@futurebird it's for pumping Open Sauce. Don't mix up the cables now, or your laptop gets filled with ragoo.

[bryanredeagle@beige.party]

@futurebird It's a modular add on system a la 90s consoles. You put the microwave on a big base that also doubles as a DVD player or a dial up modem or a rumble pack.

[ciro_mango@mastodon.uno]

@futurebird to connect keybord and mouse to move it with wasd

[gdinwiddie@mastodon.social]

@futurebird Because not everything can be recharged with RF energy.

[llewelly@sauropods.win]

@futurebird you put your cereal into those ports. Two cheerios at the same time!

[jumpmed@mastodon.social]

@futurebird Download the codes for the nukes

[sanityinc@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird Every microwave oven is also an incredibly slow-spinning and inefficient usb hard disk

[bjorndown@mastodon.social]

@futurebird so you can upload a picture of the meal you want to heat up. from it the microwave will deduce how long the meal has to be heated until it is blazing hot outside and just about lukewarm in the middle.