Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[glitzersachen@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird

Before somebody pipes up and start talking about how (supposedly) unsafe it is to charge this way, let me address one hard truth:

Qi charging is for wimps.

You are not raw-dogging your charging if you don't have an air-gap of at least three meters between the charger and the device.

And yes, it scales up to the power required to charge or operate even a gaming laptop: After all, the klystron in a typical microwave can output between 600 and 1200 Watts. Have you ever seen a laptop power brick rated at more than 120W? See, there is still enough headspace to the ceiling. And if some day it's not sufficient, just buy a larger microwave. The industrial ones, for example, can output much more power.

Anyway I don't understand the use case of Qi: There is hardly any air-gap, millimeters instead of meters. With Qi you have to walk to the charger anyway to charge your device. What's the usefulness of this?

Would you accept a TV remote, where you have to walk to the screen and press the device to the screen in order to switch the program or change the volume? Not? Me neither. It's hard to believe people put up with this crap when it's about wireless charging.

So my advice: Go for the real thing. Use your microwave and make sure that your setup can at least bridge the room.

[faassen@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird
I don't understand, how else are you going to charge this microwave's batteries and make hot food on the back of your bicycle?

[pthane@toot.wales]

@futurebird
To plug in a printer to get a hard copy of the manual.

[nielsole@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird Wireless charging is only available inside the microwave

[jasonkarns@indieweb.social]

@futurebird project manager asked team to add presets for cooking SUBs; but the ai tool transcribed the meeting notes incorrectly

[w@11n.org]

if there's another way to charge a microwave's batteries, I don't want to know what it is

[plan_a_to_y@furry.engineer]

@futurebird because their lead designer got tricked by a "charge your phone using a microwave" video and decided to make it real.

[khm@hj.9fs.net]

SDR (software defined radiation)

[admin@mastodon.slightlycyberpunk.com]

@futurebird Potentially *correct* answer: the [microwave brand] engineers must be fans of Allen Pan:

https://www.wired.com/video/watch/video-game-microwave-that-only-cooks-while-i-play

[wrosecrans@mstdn.social]

@futurebird You plug in a USB cable and use it to stir whatever you are taking out if the microwave. Perhaps occasionally even doing it intentionally. This also charges the food to replace any electrons that got loose during cooking.

[captainpilot@mastodon.social]

@futurebird that's because you need special USB dongle to unlock the "grill" function

[apophis@yourwalls.today]

@futurebird for usb drives when you gotta cook the books real quick

[phooky@hexa.club]

@futurebird not enough room for a parallel port

[hopland@snabelen.no]

@futurebird it's for pumping Open Sauce. Don't mix up the cables now, or your laptop gets filled with ragoo.

[bryanredeagle@beige.party]

@futurebird It's a modular add on system a la 90s consoles. You put the microwave on a big base that also doubles as a DVD player or a dial up modem or a rumble pack.

[ciro_mango@mastodon.uno]

@futurebird to connect keybord and mouse to move it with wasd

[gdinwiddie@mastodon.social]

@futurebird Because not everything can be recharged with RF energy.

[llewelly@sauropods.win]

@futurebird you put your cereal into those ports. Two cheerios at the same time!

[jumpmed@mastodon.social]

@futurebird Download the codes for the nukes

[sanityinc@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird Every microwave oven is also an incredibly slow-spinning and inefficient usb hard disk