Aunt: Do you still make furniture
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
I try to remember to always refer to them as "database tables" in Email for this reason. Also "data fields". Also "columns" and "rows" if someone has used a spreadsheet but not a database.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
In your defense, table design is really cool.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird omgooooodddddddd this is too pure and beautiful and like in some way I WISH I'd been making real tables for the last ten years

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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird aaawww

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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird hello, i would like to place an order for a table and 2 chairs please

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@futurebird hello, i would like to place an order for a table and 2 chairs please

*chars
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
You definitely could. If you're a generally handy person and have the right tools it's not that hard to make a simple one (or even a complex one if you:re fine with it looking literally rough around the edges)
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird
️ "I make spreadsheets for a living."
️ "I'm a digital carpenter." -
You definitely could. If you're a generally handy person and have the right tools it's not that hard to make a simple one (or even a complex one if you:re fine with it looking literally rough around the edges)
Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird I'm confident I could make a crude table should the need arise. It probably wouldn't be very pretty though.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird Awww.

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@futurebird I'm confident I could make a crude table should the need arise. It probably wouldn't be very pretty though.
I'm considering a reality show where people have to do the job that other people THINK their job is.
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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
Yes to all of this. "Chaotic" maybe would clash with the need for some parts to be load-bearing but hey, trial and error, no one was born knowing everything, etc.
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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
@futurebird @gbargoud nobody said it had to be a *good* table.
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I'm considering a reality show where people have to do the job that other people THINK their job is.
@futurebird @mansr oh dear.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird i love the term chaotic carpentry
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird for years we kept around this small, squat table my grandfather had made as a hobby project in the basement. It was the sturdiest thing in the house.
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*chars
I'm sorry we need them to FLOAT; we have someone poppins round for tea.
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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
The way I made mine was to make a couple of H shaped leg assemblies that the table can rest on so pretty much all of the forces are compressive.
It's held up for 5 years so far and shows no sign of breaking anytime soon, I've stood my fat ass on it more than once to change the lightbulbs above it.