Aunt: Do you still make furniture
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@futurebird
the hard part is getting the bottoms of the feet co-planar and equally distributed around the center. And on that topic, it seems a geometry teacher like you would have an unfair advantage.@llewelly @futurebird
I made a bookcase once and that was my problem. Granted I had no cutting tools and did no measuring... just bought 4 slabs of wood the same size and used nails to make 2 of them shelves. It was quite wobbly but I was 25 and quite proud
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird I bet you could make a table.
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@futurebird that’s a very cute story and it made me think about how our jobs might have confused people easily in the past: installing Windows, sorting folders and files, infrastructure architecture, routing packets and something with penguins.
@lordkhan@social.cologne @futurebird@sauropods.win have you examined your logs today
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@lordkhan@social.cologne @futurebird@sauropods.win have you examined your logs today
@u0421793 @futurebird ay, ay captain!
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@lordkhan@social.cologne @futurebird@sauropods.win have you examined your logs today
@u0421793 @lordkhan @futurebird examined and rotated!
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird This is like John Zogby’s grandma thinking he was an upholsterer.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird Kinda sweet really, give your auntie a 🫂 from me when you see her
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird It's really not that different.

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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
@futurebird @gbargoud Add columns; merge cells. Voila!
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@futurebird that’s a very cute story and it made me think about how our jobs might have confused people easily in the past: installing Windows, sorting folders and files, infrastructure architecture, routing packets and something with penguins.
@lordkhan @futurebird I mean the thing is though, going to school for mathy computery stuff and immediately getting a job in the city designing furniture sounds so normal to me because my friends are hipsters?
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@futurebird that’s a very cute story and it made me think about how our jobs might have confused people easily in the past: installing Windows, sorting folders and files, infrastructure architecture, routing packets and something with penguins.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
Way back, my father was always slightly disappointed I never learned a proper trade, and was very happy to hand me all his old agricultural engineering books when I allowed as how I'd helped a friend weld up a bed.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird at one point I worked for a software company and my mid 80s grandmother asked, "textiles?"
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
I LOVE THIS
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@beemoh @lordkhan @futurebird Context! This sketch is 10 times funnier if you've seen the one it riffs on (The Two Ronnies: 4 Candles).
It's still funny on its own, but really, Treat yourself.
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@futurebird that’s a very cute story and it made me think about how our jobs might have confused people easily in the past: installing Windows, sorting folders and files, infrastructure architecture, routing packets and something with penguins.
@lordkhan @futurebird This reminds me of, way back, when I worked in a university library, when the only computer systems on campus were for finance and course enrollment and they used punchcards.
Me: What does your wife do?
Coworker: She installs software packages.
Me, with no clue: So, … so, she refills the toilet paper rolls? -
@lordkhan @futurebird This reminds me of, way back, when I worked in a university library, when the only computer systems on campus were for finance and course enrollment and they used punchcards.
Me: What does your wife do?
Coworker: She installs software packages.
Me, with no clue: So, … so, she refills the toilet paper rolls?@lordkhan @futurebird She actually worked for one of the Silicon Necklace companies around Boston - DEC maybe? - and she made close to three times as much as he was making working in the library. We all had a good laugh, and she did too when he told her about it!
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird They were spectabular.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
Clearly, she selected from the wrong view.
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird Reminds me how funny my mother could be, recognizing open doors:
Decades ago, I was in an issue of Dog & Cat magazine (Kathy Najimy on the cover) as a vet examining a dog. Several silly photos (half day shoot). Mom bought one at her checkout (!) and showed it to an acquaintance there at the grocery, explaining I was an actor.
Years later, the woman asked if I was still a veterinarian, and my mother said yes.