Every bank is like “we’re more than just a bank” and all anyone wants is for them to shut the fuck up and be a bank

[marcjones@scholar.social]

@Daojoan on a visit to the UK last year (1st time in 17 years) I tried to pay old bank notes into an account.
"I'm sorry, but we're a no cash branch."
Sorry, is handling money not the core business of banks? If I only wanted to be scolded for not living within my means or not making savvy investments, I would live with my parents. (Edited for rogue punctuation.)

[baa@mk.absturztau.be]

@Daojoan@mastodon.social just store my damn money, forever, and pay it to whoever the fuck I want exactly when I tell you to

[jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange]

@electric_gumball @Daojoan That's just a walmart

[aperture@snug.moe]

@Daojoan legitimately thats why i love my bank, i dont have to fucking think about them, sometimes they send me an email or something but they . just. are a place my money is

-carrie

[aperture@snug.moe]

@Daojoan i had gone like years not really giving them any thought until i recently realized this and its been like. a huge plus to me ksdgnsjgsdg

-carrie

[theorangetheme@en.osm.town]

@cpkimber @Daojoan Ngl slap a few coin-operated pinball machines in there and you could double your money, easy.

[isol@mastodon.au]

@Daojoan

I'm wondering if Macquarie Bank (Australia) still thinks the constant bombardment of ads about how they're going all-in on AI in everything, is a good idea?

#MacquarieBank #aislop

[carabruar@sfba.social]

@Daojoan all I want is an account. They keep offering me 'products'.

[hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org]

@Daojoan this but web browsers.

[flipper@mastodonapp.uk]

@Daojoan I guess they know, deep down, that being a bank is just not a sufficient reason to exist

[deinol@dice.camp]

@Cassandra_Complex @Daojoan

Humans are expensive and make mistakes. We have to replace them when they make too many mistakes.

Artificial Plagiarism bots are expensive and make mistakes. We have to throw more money at them when they make mistakes.

Capitalism!

[cpkimber@scicomm.xyz]

@theorangetheme @Daojoan That's brilliant

[overtondoors@infosec.exchange]

@Daojoan PREACH!

[nikolaihampton@infosec.exchange]

@Daojoan also banks: “we’re here for you. It’s a journey and we want to grow together”.

Also banks later: “Oh, you mean you’re having tough times? Oh no, we didn’t mean were ‘there for you’ like that. Sorry cant help… P.S., your fees are going up (so we can better grow together).”

[sortius@infosec.exchange]

@Daojoan that's why I've stuck with ING. No bullshit, just a standard set of accounts. It's all I need

[lilstevie@infosec.exchange]

@sortius @Daojoan same as me with HSBC, they've even done that whole bank thing of facilitating money laundering and shit you know... bank stuff

[sortius@infosec.exchange]

@lilstevie @Daojoan yep, financial crimes are generally a sign they do banking

[bgrinter@mastodon.sdf.org]

@Daojoan @timrichards
The bank I worked for in the 80s had a travel agency.
A few years later someone must have said “what the hell were we thinking” and the sold it off

[michalbryxi@mastodon.world]

@Daojoan Most banks also suck in the basics of banking: Easily send money out (or sometimes even in), see monthly/yearly breakdown of my spendings, have a useable address book, speed, security, …

[haliphax@hachyderm.io]

@Daojoan My brain melted when I was in San Francisco for work a few weeks ago and found out the Capital One Cafes are an actual thing. (No, I did not go inside, but there were people in there drinking coffee and doing coffeeshop shit.)