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  3. I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

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  • patrascan@ohai.socialP patrascan@ohai.social

    @msbellows nicely put! Especially that last part about what he should have been

    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
    msbellows@c.im
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #207

    @patrascan _/\_

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

      I hope today John Roberts realizes that Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito probably will retire before the end of T's term so T can attempt to name their replacements the way Obama never got to because RBG was too stubborn, and that that makes him sad because them leaving literally will eliminate half of the friendships he's had in his entire miserable life.

      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.im
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #208

      Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.

      dannotdaniel@hellions.cloudD pattyhanson@mastodon.socialP msbellows@c.imM apbblue@thepit.socialA 4 Replies Last reply
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      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

        Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.

        dannotdaniel@hellions.cloudD This user is from outside of this forum
        dannotdaniel@hellions.cloudD This user is from outside of this forum
        dannotdaniel@hellions.cloud
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #209

        @msbellows I second this but why would he try and remove the decaying mess that he granted total immunity to

        msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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        • dannotdaniel@hellions.cloudD dannotdaniel@hellions.cloud

          @msbellows I second this but why would he try and remove the decaying mess that he granted total immunity to

          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.im
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #210

          @dannotdaniel Maybe living a life that's inexplicably cursed day after day after day will finally force an epiphany leading him to reexamine his life choices and try to undo the harms he has caused?

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

            Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.

            pattyhanson@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
            pattyhanson@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
            pattyhanson@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #211

            @msbellows It seems you given a little bit of thought behind this "accident". 😂

            msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • pattyhanson@mastodon.socialP pattyhanson@mastodon.social

              @msbellows It seems you given a little bit of thought behind this "accident". 😂

              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
              msbellows@c.im
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #212

              @PattyHanson I definitely wasn't inspired by anything that happened to me. Nope. (Because today I paid a neighbor kid to clean the gutter along the front of the garage instead of doing it myself.)

              pattyhanson@mastodon.socialP 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                @PattyHanson I definitely wasn't inspired by anything that happened to me. Nope. (Because today I paid a neighbor kid to clean the gutter along the front of the garage instead of doing it myself.)

                pattyhanson@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                pattyhanson@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                pattyhanson@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #213

                @msbellows That's okay. We can have good ideas without having experienced everything life has to offer. 😂

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                  Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.

                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                  msbellows@c.im
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #214

                  Today I hope that when John Roberts's wife awakes he's already up and because it's #Easter he says sincerely and joyfully, "Good morning! He is Risen!" and she looks pointedly at his pajamas crotch and replies dolefully, "at least someone is," and then they go to church and the scabbed shin scrape he received yesterday makes it painful every time he needs to kneel on the tilt-down genuflexorium, which let's be honest Catholic services require worshippers to do a lot.

                  camless@m.ai6yr.orgC msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                    Today I hope that when John Roberts's wife awakes he's already up and because it's #Easter he says sincerely and joyfully, "Good morning! He is Risen!" and she looks pointedly at his pajamas crotch and replies dolefully, "at least someone is," and then they go to church and the scabbed shin scrape he received yesterday makes it painful every time he needs to kneel on the tilt-down genuflexorium, which let's be honest Catholic services require worshippers to do a lot.

                    camless@m.ai6yr.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                    camless@m.ai6yr.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                    camless@m.ai6yr.org
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #215

                    @msbellows The 'Catholic workout'. At least you get some wine and stale crackers

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                      Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.

                      apbblue@thepit.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                      apbblue@thepit.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                      apbblue@thepit.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #216

                      @msbellows Hopefully it's cream-colored carpet.

                      msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • apbblue@thepit.socialA apbblue@thepit.social

                        @msbellows Hopefully it's cream-colored carpet.

                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                        msbellows@c.im
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #217

                        @APBBlue It's a stone entry, unfortunately. But it's porous, and they haven't had it sealed lately.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                          Today I hope that when John Roberts's wife awakes he's already up and because it's #Easter he says sincerely and joyfully, "Good morning! He is Risen!" and she looks pointedly at his pajamas crotch and replies dolefully, "at least someone is," and then they go to church and the scabbed shin scrape he received yesterday makes it painful every time he needs to kneel on the tilt-down genuflexorium, which let's be honest Catholic services require worshippers to do a lot.

                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                          msbellows@c.im
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #218

                          Today I hope John Roberts is starting to wonder whether he made the right decision spending his spare time last weekend working to clear the way for Steve Bannon's conviction to be reversed on Trump's whim instead of what he really wanted to do, which is just hang out following updates about the Artemis mission because when he was young Apollo really was important to him.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • suneauken@mastodon.worldS suneauken@mastodon.world shared this topic
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