I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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I hope John Roberts is really excited to watch the women's halfpipe finals in the Olympics today but his TV shows nothing but flickering black and white vertical lines and the warranty just expired.
I hope someone showed John Roberts Ian McKellan's performance of "The Stranger's Case speech" on Colbert and he objected loudly, "Bullshit. I took a Shakespeare class at Harvard and they never mentioned a play called 'Sir Thomas More'!" and a passing stranger responded, 'well, I attended the excellent public university U.C. Davis and they certainly taught ME that. Sorry you paid so much for a shitty education, loser," and then Justice Roberts felt confused and embarrassed. https://youtu.be/Nwd6vcfR3HI?si=UxmdNUxvUqO22inr
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I hope someone showed John Roberts Ian McKellan's performance of "The Stranger's Case speech" on Colbert and he objected loudly, "Bullshit. I took a Shakespeare class at Harvard and they never mentioned a play called 'Sir Thomas More'!" and a passing stranger responded, 'well, I attended the excellent public university U.C. Davis and they certainly taught ME that. Sorry you paid so much for a shitty education, loser," and then Justice Roberts felt confused and embarrassed. https://youtu.be/Nwd6vcfR3HI?si=UxmdNUxvUqO22inr
I hope John Roberts' wife hands him a giant heart-shaped box of candy for Valentine's Day today and he feels happy and romantic but when he opens it it contains nothing but maple creams and artificial cherry flavored wax lips.
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I hope John Roberts' wife hands him a giant heart-shaped box of candy for Valentine's Day today and he feels happy and romantic but when he opens it it contains nothing but maple creams and artificial cherry flavored wax lips.
@msbellows
With all those bribes she takes on his behalf, he ought to take her to a nice dinner regardless. -
I hope John Roberts' wife hands him a giant heart-shaped box of candy for Valentine's Day today and he feels happy and romantic but when he opens it it contains nothing but maple creams and artificial cherry flavored wax lips.
I hope John Roberts was impotent last night on Valentine's Day and then this morning he felt more vigorous but his wife said she had a Sunday morning nail appointment and then she was away an oddly long time just for a nail appointment.
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I hope John Roberts was impotent last night on Valentine's Day and then this morning he felt more vigorous but his wife said she had a Sunday morning nail appointment and then she was away an oddly long time just for a nail appointment.
@msbellows
May both sides of his pillow always be hot -
I hope John Roberts was impotent last night on Valentine's Day and then this morning he felt more vigorous but his wife said she had a Sunday morning nail appointment and then she was away an oddly long time just for a nail appointment.
I hope John Roberts drives over a pothole on his way to work this morning and instantly a giant crack appears in his windshield.
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I hope John Roberts drives over a pothole on his way to work this morning and instantly a giant crack appears in his windshield.
@msbellows Sometimes, it’s the little things that count.
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I hope John Roberts drives over a pothole on his way to work this morning and instantly a giant crack appears in his windshield.
I hope one of John Roberts' adult kids watched last night's Colbert and was shocked to learn how CBS obeyed the tyrant in advance by censoring the planned show, and so picked up the phone and said, "Dad, I love you, but I'm really angry and disappointed in you for empowering these assholes, and I think it's best if we don't talk for a while."
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I hope one of John Roberts' adult kids watched last night's Colbert and was shocked to learn how CBS obeyed the tyrant in advance by censoring the planned show, and so picked up the phone and said, "Dad, I love you, but I'm really angry and disappointed in you for empowering these assholes, and I think it's best if we don't talk for a while."
Roberts vacations on Hupper Island, off Port Clyde in midcoast Maine. A flotilla of kayaks out there harassing him about making Trump into a king....
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Roberts vacations on Hupper Island, off Port Clyde in midcoast Maine. A flotilla of kayaks out there harassing him about making Trump into a king....
@tuban_muzuru Have they done that, or is it a wish?
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@tuban_muzuru Have they done that, or is it a wish?
July 19, 2025 Citizens opposed to the Supreme Court's direction launched kayaks from the public landing in Port Clyde and paddled a few hundred yards across to Roberts' home on Hupper Island.
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I hope one of John Roberts' adult kids watched last night's Colbert and was shocked to learn how CBS obeyed the tyrant in advance by censoring the planned show, and so picked up the phone and said, "Dad, I love you, but I'm really angry and disappointed in you for empowering these assholes, and I think it's best if we don't talk for a while."
I hope John Roberts has to leave work early because of an incredibly intense migraine focused exactly behind his right eye.
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I hope John Roberts has to leave work early because of an incredibly intense migraine focused exactly behind his right eye.
@msbellows ...oddly specific...
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@msbellows ...oddly specific...
@heafnerj If you don't really lean into imagining a curse, it's less likely to come true. It's about focusing our energies!
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I hope John Roberts has to leave work early because of an incredibly intense migraine focused exactly behind his right eye.
@msbellows I hope Queef JustAss John Roberts slips on some black ice he doesn't see when exiting his car, but he doesn't fall, he just tries to regain his balance forever and can't until Spring comes.
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@heafnerj If you don't really lean into imagining a curse, it's less likely to come true. It's about focusing our energies!
@msbellows Noted. I will give it a try.
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I hope John Roberts has to leave work early because of an incredibly intense migraine focused exactly behind his right eye.
I hope John Roberts wakes in the middle of the night tonight with the realization that, because of him, the British Royal Family has more accountability than the President of the United States, and before he can even haul himself out of bed pukes on his duvet in spontaneous, visceral repulsion at his own execrable betrayal of the American principles he pretends to live by.
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I hope John Roberts wakes in the middle of the night tonight with the realization that, because of him, the British Royal Family has more accountability than the President of the United States, and before he can even haul himself out of bed pukes on his duvet in spontaneous, visceral repulsion at his own execrable betrayal of the American principles he pretends to live by.
@msbellows I wouldn't count on it.
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I hope John Roberts wakes in the middle of the night tonight with the realization that, because of him, the British Royal Family has more accountability than the President of the United States, and before he can even haul himself out of bed pukes on his duvet in spontaneous, visceral repulsion at his own execrable betrayal of the American principles he pretends to live by.
I hope John Roberts doesn't get invited to Leonard Leo's birthday party even though Leo is who asked the Supreme Court to strike down Trump's tariffs, and that Roberts feels sad and lonely about that.
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I hope John Roberts doesn't get invited to Leonard Leo's birthday party even though Leo is who asked the Supreme Court to strike down Trump's tariffs, and that Roberts feels sad and lonely about that.
@msbellows I think you’ve struck very close to the source on this one.
