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  3. I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo.

I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo.

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  • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
    grimalkina@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
    grimalkina@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #1

    I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

    If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

    Thanks ❤

    mlevison@hachyderm.ioM hzulla@infosec.exchangeH deirdrebeth@mas.toD dragonfrog@mastodon.sdf.orgD jzb@hachyderm.ioJ 7 Replies Last reply
    1
    0
    • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG grimalkina@mastodon.social

      I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

      If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

      Thanks ❤

      mlevison@hachyderm.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
      mlevison@hachyderm.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
      mlevison@hachyderm.io
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #2

      @grimalkina good luck.

      I’ve no idea, but I boosted to help

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG grimalkina@mastodon.social

        I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

        If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

        Thanks ❤

        hzulla@infosec.exchangeH This user is from outside of this forum
        hzulla@infosec.exchangeH This user is from outside of this forum
        hzulla@infosec.exchange
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #3

        @grimalkina hair loss is an annoying thing. There are several companies and also Etsy hobbyists making beautiful stylish headscarfs and turbans specifically for chemo patients. We have gifted those to friends going through chemo and they appreciated having gotten one.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG grimalkina@mastodon.social

          I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

          If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

          Thanks ❤

          deirdrebeth@mas.toD This user is from outside of this forum
          deirdrebeth@mas.toD This user is from outside of this forum
          deirdrebeth@mas.to
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #4

          @grimalkina

          I was very much on the periphery, but favourite food meals (with no consideration on whether they're "healthy") already prepared and easy to heat were a big win.
          Chemo generally kills the appetite so small portions.
          Also if they're able, cannabis' ability to make one hungry is really helpful, an edible early and food laid out 30-60 minutes later.

          {Huuuugs}
          #FuckCancer

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG grimalkina@mastodon.social

            I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

            If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

            Thanks ❤

            dragonfrog@mastodon.sdf.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
            dragonfrog@mastodon.sdf.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
            dragonfrog@mastodon.sdf.org
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #5

            @grimalkina It seems to really depend on the person, and probably on the particular chemo drugs they need, what impacts they'll experience.

            My wife found exercising every day - despite often feeling crappy beforehand - really helped her. So, helping her have the time to exercise was a support to her.

            Exploring new cooking repertoire to find foods that were good tasting, but absolutely not spicy or liable to scratch her mouth, so she could still eat well and varied, was another.

            grimalkina@mastodon.socialG 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • dragonfrog@mastodon.sdf.orgD dragonfrog@mastodon.sdf.org

              @grimalkina It seems to really depend on the person, and probably on the particular chemo drugs they need, what impacts they'll experience.

              My wife found exercising every day - despite often feeling crappy beforehand - really helped her. So, helping her have the time to exercise was a support to her.

              Exploring new cooking repertoire to find foods that were good tasting, but absolutely not spicy or liable to scratch her mouth, so she could still eat well and varied, was another.

              grimalkina@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
              grimalkina@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
              grimalkina@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #6

              @dragonfrog personalized experiments! I'm good at that. Thank you.

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              • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG grimalkina@mastodon.social

                I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

                If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

                Thanks ❤

                jzb@hachyderm.ioJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jzb@hachyderm.ioJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jzb@hachyderm.io
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #7

                @grimalkina Might be impractical or whatever, but about a decade ago I had a friend going through chemo for breast cancer.

                I had another friend who was a licensed massage therapist and who knew how to do massage for people who were going through that kind of thing. I paid for several massages so she could be pampered a little bit. (I had just moved out of the area, so I couldn't do stuff like drop by with food, sadly.)

                She seemed to appreciate that. If that's doable it might be something to consider. Sending good thoughts for your loved one.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG grimalkina@mastodon.social

                  I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

                  If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

                  Thanks ❤

                  takuruu@social.tchncs.deT This user is from outside of this forum
                  takuruu@social.tchncs.deT This user is from outside of this forum
                  takuruu@social.tchncs.de
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #8

                  @grimalkina
                  It's a tough thing you are about to do. And the most important thing you're already doing. You'll be there.
                  Once I worked with a colleague who went through chemo while we were in production of a play. He was the responsible for make-up and special effects. We never talked about his therapy, he didn't want to, he wanted to be in that moment.
                  First tip: focus on the things the person CAN do, rather on those not possible at the moment.
                  Second tip: don't pressure.
                  One day the guy was unable to be with us for a show. We all knew and nobody mentioned it, nobody pushed him with nonsense sentences like: You can do it, I know you can!
                  We tried our best and in the midst of chaos we called him asking a couple of questions. Je was exhausted but helped and I believe he felt being a part.

                  takuruu@social.tchncs.deT 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • grimalkina@mastodon.socialG grimalkina@mastodon.social

                    I am going to go spend some time soon helping care for a loved one going through chemo. This is someone who otherwise lives alone so it will just be me.

                    If you've been through this (either side) I'd love to hear if there are any small tips you have for how to be there for someone going through chemo, daily "comfort" things that you discovered or that might be overlooked. Things to do that help make this time bearable, sustainable, just little joys of life.

                    Thanks ❤

                    rhempel@cosocial.caR This user is from outside of this forum
                    rhempel@cosocial.caR This user is from outside of this forum
                    rhempel@cosocial.ca
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #9

                    @grimalkina I have been through this and was very lucky that my partner was a great patient. Three basic things that helped her through this:

                    1. Chemo is different for everyone, it depends on the cocktail. For some people, it makes them sick before they even get in the chair, others not so much.

                    1/

                    rhempel@cosocial.caR 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • takuruu@social.tchncs.deT takuruu@social.tchncs.de

                      @grimalkina
                      It's a tough thing you are about to do. And the most important thing you're already doing. You'll be there.
                      Once I worked with a colleague who went through chemo while we were in production of a play. He was the responsible for make-up and special effects. We never talked about his therapy, he didn't want to, he wanted to be in that moment.
                      First tip: focus on the things the person CAN do, rather on those not possible at the moment.
                      Second tip: don't pressure.
                      One day the guy was unable to be with us for a show. We all knew and nobody mentioned it, nobody pushed him with nonsense sentences like: You can do it, I know you can!
                      We tried our best and in the midst of chaos we called him asking a couple of questions. Je was exhausted but helped and I believe he felt being a part.

                      takuruu@social.tchncs.deT This user is from outside of this forum
                      takuruu@social.tchncs.deT This user is from outside of this forum
                      takuruu@social.tchncs.de
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #10

                      @grimalkina
                      Tip #3:
                      Don't neglect what's going on.
                      We where so busy with the production and with taking his mind of the chemo, we did not realize the moments he just wanted to cry. This is the biggest mistake we made back then. Don't do it.
                      It's difficult to differentiate self pity from honest sadness and overwhelming.
                      Learn the person in front of you and find the sweet spot between pushing positivity and a big bear hug.

                      And after all, nothing I worte is wisdom or common sense, this is what I experienced with one person. You're friend will be different and the opposite might apply.

                      Again, you're already doing the most important thing: You're there!

                      I wish the very best for you and good health to the person you accompany.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • rhempel@cosocial.caR rhempel@cosocial.ca

                        @grimalkina I have been through this and was very lucky that my partner was a great patient. Three basic things that helped her through this:

                        1. Chemo is different for everyone, it depends on the cocktail. For some people, it makes them sick before they even get in the chair, others not so much.

                        1/

                        rhempel@cosocial.caR This user is from outside of this forum
                        rhempel@cosocial.caR This user is from outside of this forum
                        rhempel@cosocial.ca
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #11

                        @grimalkina

                        2. Hair loss is a big deal, but not right away. That makes day 0 a great time to try a completely new hairstyle, it's going to fall out anyways. When it starts to fall out in clumps, some folks cut it off to get it over with.

                        3. Exercise. The hospital in Denmark had an 8 week fitness program. My partner was in pretty good shape after that!

                        OK, one more ...

                        Keep busy - some of the drugs will make you unable to sleep. Have things to do and podcasts to listen to.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • simonjust@mstdn.dkS simonjust@mstdn.dk shared this topic
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