This is my PhD thesis

I did not ask for this

I did not consent to this

I did not approve of this

I was not compensated for this

I would not have advised this

I do not like this

And worst of all, the number of people who've read my thesis has still not increased.

Do. Not. Disturb. The. Mysterious. Ancient. Rune-inscribed. Skull-adorned. Ring. Found. In. The. Idyllic. Countryside.

Seriously, there's a whole book about this. And movies. Long ones!