I was once again accused of being a bot, so here's a picture of me with Ollie yesterday. We were celebrating his 15th birthday (birdday).

I would like to specify that we are not deporting billionaires to Switzerland or somewhere, we are launching them into the fucking sun.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Deport Billionaires Patch. Abolish ICE, create DABA (Deport All Billionaires Agency).
https://collabs.shop/fhgxv3

I love Jane Goodall.

I aspire to be this petty.

That's good to know.

I don't think people understand how bad the obesity epidemic in the US really is. To put things in perspective, the average American eats five hotdogs every minute.

Obviously.

That's so interesting.

This is one of my favorite comics we've made.

Unfortunately I was laid off by the Washington Post today. It was my job to tell Jeff Bezos I think bald is better than hair anytime he came into the office. Please let me know if anywhere is hiring for this exact same position.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

I wish I could unlearn this.

I know that Stephen Miller gets a lot of hate on here, but hear me out.

I think we could hate him more. We have the capacity, we all just need to put in a little more effort.

Every true Swiftie should know this.

Sounds about right.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this "My tummy hurts and I'm mad at the government" Pin. Same kid, same.
https://collabs.shop/l9qjk8

I expected the undermining of the Constitution to be much more intricate and diabolical, and not just "lol here is a memo saying laws don't matter".