@elindur I also like using “what do you mean?” especially when someone thoughtlessly drops a micro aggression or makes a bigoted “joke”.

I make it really uncomfy by making them explain it. I feign not understanding and ask clarifying questions so they have to explain their “joke”… in detail.

Then I give them a disappointed “Oh. That doesn’t seem very funny at all.”

When you work in any kind of traditional crafts and art, there’s inevitably the heart-sinking moment where you engage with someone else in the field and they assume you must also be… conservative. So in the absence of obvious visual signifiers, there can sometimes be a little verbal code dance where I try to figure out if the person I’m engaging with is safe.

Yesterday, I was checking out a store for some glass supplies, and the owner appeared just neutrally middle class… (for the Americans, a retirement age someone who has Kohl’s Cash, if you will.). And since this was going to be a store where I would potentially be spending a good bit of money in the future, it was important to me to get a feel for their politics. So the dance began, and she took the lead!

Random small talk about where I live, me casually mentioning I’m doing a lot of walking today.

Owner: holds up a panel of luscious emerald glass. “I have some of this at home myself, you might like it.”

Me: “oooh, I definitely need this. I have ideas already!”

Owner: “yeah, I haven’t fully decided, but I think this would be great for a piece featuring frogs.” *meaningful pause*.

Me: “I’m here for it. Maybe even incorporating some hinges. For movement.” *meaningful pause* Definitely nothing… Regency style though.

Owner: “Oh thank god, you’re normal!”

A kardashian hawking merkins was not on my dystopian bingo card, and honestly that’s on me.

Our resident red shouldered hawk showing off their fluffy pantaloon #HawkPants this morning while having their breakfast in the garden.