@alice @PhoenixSerenity @Twotired @cynthiarose they're not *totally* mutually exclusive. as an ace-spec (demi) person I often have no idea whether I do/will want an intimate relationship or on what timescale. I do try to make it clear that A) currently I'm interested in X (which may already be more sexual than most people expect but that is always optional), B) at an unspecified date (possibly years in the future) I may or may not, suddenly or gradually, become interested in Y, (no, I can't predict this, I've tried), C) I will accept a rejection (even after we start) and for my part I will be happy to continue our relationship in whatever form we are both comfortable with, and do my best to keep my feelings to myself if that will make them comfortable, and finally D) I really do want actual rejection instead of uncomfortable silence or a noncommittal response, please do not try to spare my feelings, it's not good for either of us. for some reason D is often the hardest sell