I hope this email finds you well, and taking better care of yourself.

I hope this email finds you, wherever you are.

I hope this email finds you running around in here.

I hope this email finds you lying out here like this, he’ll have your guts for garters.

I hope this email finds you under a balcony and kisses you in the shadows until there's nothing left of you but sparkling fairy dust, and in your weakened state, you ask if she wants to hang out next weekend, and her face clouds and she goes, “Ohhh."