I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
-
I hope today finds John Roberts wandering lonely through his large home, trying to come to terms with the fact that his wife has left him, and finds himself in their shared library, and notices her shelves are fuller than his and include three diverse novels from just last year ("Wild Dark Shore" by Charlotte McConaghy, "Flesh: A Novel" by David Szalay, and TJ Alexander's "A Gentleman's Gentleman"), while the most recent book on his shelf is Jonathan Franzen's "The Corrections" and he only got about a third of the way through that, and he wonders if that has something to do with why she left him, and also as he looks at the back cover of Alexander's book he realizes he has no idea what the Lambda Literary Award is. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I hope none of John Roberts' children call him for #FathersDay today, and he's finally starting to understand why. #IHopeJohnRoberts
-
@karlauerbach No, but it does when he calls them.
-
I hope none of John Roberts' children call him for #FathersDay today, and he's finally starting to understand why. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Last night #IHopeJohnRoberts dreamed he was a Black congressman in Alabama watching his district get gerrymandered out from under him, and that he woke up this morning in a cold sweat, having peed himself a little.
-
Last night #IHopeJohnRoberts dreamed he was a Black congressman in Alabama watching his district get gerrymandered out from under him, and that he woke up this morning in a cold sweat, having peed himself a little.
I hope John Roberts gets a herpes sore on his lip. #IHopeJohnRoberts
-
@Mercurial Honestly, some days I'm just tired and phone it in.
-
I hope John Roberts gets a herpes sore on his lip. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I hope John Roberts' favorite restaurant closes.
#IHopeJohnRoberts -
I hope John Roberts' favorite restaurant closes.
#IHopeJohnRoberts*gasps*
-
*gasps*
@darth_hideout Misery loves company. https://c.im/@msbellows/116806533864515438
-
@wyatt_h_knott@mstdn.social Great minds etc. etc.
https://c.im/@msbellows/116494562908269198and
-
@wyatt_h_knott@mstdn.social My curses are getting meaner over time. It's not easy being humorous about a monster.
-
@wyatt_h_knott@mstdn.social Anyway, it's been every day since January 25. No plan for when it will end; maybe when he dies.
Because I fucking loathe John Roberts, especially because he appears to be so affable and reasonable when in truth even the monster John Taney (Dred Scott case) was, in his other decisions, more protective of American democracy than Roberts is.
-
I hope John Roberts' favorite restaurant closes.
#IHopeJohnRobertsToday's curse on John Roberts is that he awoke at 4:00 a.m., just bolted full awake, with the realization that never, not once, did he attend any of his children's grade school functions like parent teacher conferences or those really boring grade school choir concerts that never seem to end because every single class has to get their turn, supposedly because his work was "too important," and then lay there until 7:00 wondering whether maybe that's part of the reason they barely speak to him any more.
#IHopeJohnRoberts -
Today's curse on John Roberts is that he awoke at 4:00 a.m., just bolted full awake, with the realization that never, not once, did he attend any of his children's grade school functions like parent teacher conferences or those really boring grade school choir concerts that never seem to end because every single class has to get their turn, supposedly because his work was "too important," and then lay there until 7:00 wondering whether maybe that's part of the reason they barely speak to him any more.
#IHopeJohnRobertsToday #IHopeJohnRoberts left his downstairs windows open overnight so that when the gardener showed up early this morning and sprayed the hell out of his lawn with Roundup, clouds of the pesticide drifted into the house where Roberts breathed it in his sleep and could smell it as he had his coffee, knowing that because of his decision yesterday there's not a goddamn thing he can do about it.
-
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts left his downstairs windows open overnight so that when the gardener showed up early this morning and sprayed the hell out of his lawn with Roundup, clouds of the pesticide drifted into the house where Roberts breathed it in his sleep and could smell it as he had his coffee, knowing that because of his decision yesterday there's not a goddamn thing he can do about it.
Today I hope the tape on John Roberts' home telephone answering machine breaks and he's worried he'll miss his wife's call even though she's been incommunicado for about a month, so he spends three hours today visiting store after store in an Uber (because his license hasn't been restored yet) unable to find those little plastic micro cassettes and he wonders what other people do when their answering machine tapes break and thinking maybe, I don't know, some sort of digital alternative might be a cool new invention, and then he realizes that she might have called while he was out looking and he wouldn't know, and he's trying to understand why his life just sucks so much because he's been a good man, hasn't he, God, hasn't he been a good man? #IHopeJohnRoberts
-
Today I hope the tape on John Roberts' home telephone answering machine breaks and he's worried he'll miss his wife's call even though she's been incommunicado for about a month, so he spends three hours today visiting store after store in an Uber (because his license hasn't been restored yet) unable to find those little plastic micro cassettes and he wonders what other people do when their answering machine tapes break and thinking maybe, I don't know, some sort of digital alternative might be a cool new invention, and then he realizes that she might have called while he was out looking and he wouldn't know, and he's trying to understand why his life just sucks so much because he's been a good man, hasn't he, God, hasn't he been a good man? #IHopeJohnRoberts
@msbellows
Mike Judge could make a nice little series with these scripts, I'd watch it! -
@msbellows
Mike Judge could make a nice little series with these scripts, I'd watch it!@jandi Whoa, that's high praise! Thanks!
-
Today I hope the tape on John Roberts' home telephone answering machine breaks and he's worried he'll miss his wife's call even though she's been incommunicado for about a month, so he spends three hours today visiting store after store in an Uber (because his license hasn't been restored yet) unable to find those little plastic micro cassettes and he wonders what other people do when their answering machine tapes break and thinking maybe, I don't know, some sort of digital alternative might be a cool new invention, and then he realizes that she might have called while he was out looking and he wouldn't know, and he's trying to understand why his life just sucks so much because he's been a good man, hasn't he, God, hasn't he been a good man? #IHopeJohnRoberts
Today I hope someone tells John Roberts that his absent wife has opened an account on some new social media thing called Mastodon and they send him a link and he opens it but the post makes no sense because it's just something about a goose adding value and he's not sure why her account isn't @JaneRoberts but rather @SullivanIsFinallyAwake, and also what the heck is kolektiva.social? #IHopeJohnRoberts
-
Today I hope someone tells John Roberts that his absent wife has opened an account on some new social media thing called Mastodon and they send him a link and he opens it but the post makes no sense because it's just something about a goose adding value and he's not sure why her account isn't @JaneRoberts but rather @SullivanIsFinallyAwake, and also what the heck is kolektiva.social? #IHopeJohnRoberts
@msbellows and that he sees how much that we are all taking a great deal of delight in the #HopeJohnRoberts posts.
-
@msbellows and that he sees how much that we are all taking a great deal of delight in the #HopeJohnRoberts posts.
@LynnD _/\_
-
Today I hope someone tells John Roberts that his absent wife has opened an account on some new social media thing called Mastodon and they send him a link and he opens it but the post makes no sense because it's just something about a goose adding value and he's not sure why her account isn't @JaneRoberts but rather @SullivanIsFinallyAwake, and also what the heck is kolektiva.social? #IHopeJohnRoberts
May he fail every Captcha.
