Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining.
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@emilymbender this isn’t to contradict or downplay anything you’re saying because it is obviously a real problem with the general culture here and type of person so overrepresented on the network. But I also wonder if that experience could partly be a structural consequence of the platform not having the ability to quote other users’ posts for such a long time. So a lot of people still seem to use replies to say what they want to add to something rather than quoting the original post (which might be more appropriate for the way they want to interact with it) and as a result their statements are way more directed at the person they’re replying to than they might intend or realize.
Anyway, that is speculation, doesn’t excuse it, and I’m very sorry you have such an unpleasant time here. You do great work and I appreciate that I can follow it here since I’m not on the other platforms.
i think that this norm is potentially part of the explanation, but by no means all. when i've (more and less rudely, if i'm being honest) pointed this out to people doing mansplainy replies, they generally ignore the commentary and double down on expressing their belief that the behavior of replying however they want is appropriate and is "what social media is for". my being polite and patient does not result in a higher rate of self-reflection
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender If you're being rhetorical, ignore the rest of this toot. If not, is it specific to Mastodon?
My lady friends report being subject to it everywhere, and I have been caught mansplaining in person even though I try my best not to do that as a general rule, so it's maybe enough to have the dangly bits? IDK.
Plus I'd bet none of them has 29k followers.
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i think that this norm is potentially part of the explanation, but by no means all. when i've (more and less rudely, if i'm being honest) pointed this out to people doing mansplainy replies, they generally ignore the commentary and double down on expressing their belief that the behavior of replying however they want is appropriate and is "what social media is for". my being polite and patient does not result in a higher rate of self-reflection
@inquiline for sure. I’ve definitely observed those disappointingly defensive responses to both the more and the less rude versions of calling it out (probably sometimes by you). My explanation at best accounts for a small part of the problem compared to the culture and types of guys who congregate here. And maybe it’s wrong of me still to look for a reason to give any of them the benefit of the doubt when it’s such a problem. I definitely sympathize when people opt for the rude callout. It seems really frustrating to have a big account here receiving a lot of mansplain-y replies.
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@emilymbender Did the title help?
@sashin Not enough.
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@emilymbender If you're being rhetorical, ignore the rest of this toot. If not, is it specific to Mastodon?
My lady friends report being subject to it everywhere, and I have been caught mansplaining in person even though I try my best not to do that as a general rule, so it's maybe enough to have the dangly bits? IDK.
Plus I'd bet none of them has 29k followers.
@vonxylofon She's mentioned a few times that it's worse here than on other networks, and I've seen a few others with similarity prominent accounts say the same. I think there genuinely is more of it here. I can speculate about what the causes might be, but I'm not sure that would be helpful in this thread.
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Speaking as someone who would like to help, it seems Mastodon has a hole here. I believe it was @mekkaokereke who pointed out that shitty people say shitty (racist) things in his replies, but people like me never see them because these trolls tag their replies as 'Only for my followers.'
Many people would happily counter this sort of thing, but we never see it.
Suggestions?
@elasticsoul Oh I've definitely been in threads where a conversation is happening and I can't see the other side. I wonder if that is why it was happening.
I also hadn't even considered the harassment using it. It does make me sad people have to deal with it all the time though and a mute or block just doesn't cut it.
For your suggestion, maybe a way to force all replies to a parent to be public only or auto block followers only in addition to DM.
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@emilymbender If you're being rhetorical, ignore the rest of this toot. If not, is it specific to Mastodon?
My lady friends report being subject to it everywhere, and I have been caught mansplaining in person even though I try my best not to do that as a general rule, so it's maybe enough to have the dangly bits? IDK.
Plus I'd bet none of them has 29k followers.
@vonxylofon Yes, it is particularly bad on Mastodon. I post frequently on LinkedIn and bsky too and (up until Nov 2024) posted frequently on Xitter. Mastodon is the worst in this regard.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
I didn't see the exact posts you were referring to but so I may be wrong, but generally the idea of posting in response to someone is to produce a conversation, which many consider to be the goal of social medias.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
I’m very sorry that you had to have such bad experiences here. The fediverse is very diverse and obviously there are also many people who have the sensitivity of a steam hammer. .
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I didn't see the exact posts you were referring to but so I may be wrong, but generally the idea of posting in response to someone is to produce a conversation, which many consider to be the goal of social medias.
@lienrag and yet the posts are not actually constructive contributions but often explaining things back to me as if I haven't been writing about them for years.
But do go on: how does mansplaining work again?
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender we really need more controls here, for example over who can reply to posts. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender lots of well-meaning idiots or just smug assholes and everyone thinks they have the correct opinion on everything that everyone must know and lack self-awareness. i think this is just how tech people are in general and mastodon's full of them (god i hope i'm not being a well-meaning idiot who thinks all their opinions are correct and lacks self-awareness right now)
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender I love your threads and hope I have not replied to one until now.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
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@sashin Not enough.
@emilymbender @sashin I’m not a man but for what it’s worth you’re one of the most influential people for how I think about AI, because you explained everything really well in your papers. So thank you, Professor Bender, we are lucky to have you in the public forum.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender I read you with gratitude and enthusiasm. I have a Magic 8 Ball in my office as an easy explaining tool because of you.
Please don't let smug obnoxious weirdo disruptors stop you from teaching the rest of the thousands in your global class. Just kick them out/block or put them in timeout/mute, for our sake.
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@emilymbender I read you with gratitude and enthusiasm. I have a Magic 8 Ball in my office as an easy explaining tool because of you.
Please don't let smug obnoxious weirdo disruptors stop you from teaching the rest of the thousands in your global class. Just kick them out/block or put them in timeout/mute, for our sake.@pattykimura Thank you for your appreciation. Blocking/muting doesn't solve this problem because there is an unending supply of that guy here on Mastodon. I can block and block and block and still there are mansplainers ready to clog my mentions.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
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@pattykimura Thank you for your appreciation. Blocking/muting doesn't solve this problem because there is an unending supply of that guy here on Mastodon. I can block and block and block and still there are mansplainers ready to clog my mentions.
@emilymbender Curious, are they coming from the same instances? My instance blocks instances which appear to allow these kinds of deliberate irritants. You are a target for these kinds of attacks because you are a primary voice in the wilderness about the truth about LLMs which has billions of dollars behind them to disrupt and silence you and voices like yours.
There has finally been the start of a sea change in the vast public opinion (previously shaped by billions in PR by tech investors), your voice right now is essential, it is critical to this moment in history. My pro Chat GPT-evangelizing CEO finally just acknowledged the deficits of her stance in an unexpected sidebar in a non-LLM-homogenized company-wide email and acknowledged its controversy. It was a remarkable change.
We are on a historic precipice. Your influence in this rising debate is crucial. This is why we, selfishly, can't lose your voice because of the stupidest or most sneakily and deliberately disruptive entities who are determined to vex and thereby silence you.
"Each one teach one" - I hope you know you teach many more than those who follow you here - we teach others in the real human world. However clumsily or less articulately so, we do. Your reach is exponential.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender was going to answer this but then I realized I would be mansplaining mansplaining.
