Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
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@gsuberland @jmopp @0xabad1dea honestly, this is probably the kind of activity a finance guy must do in order not to completely lose his fucking mind
@navi @gsuberland @jmopp @0xabad1dea I worked at a place a few miles outside Cambridge (England, UK) that was right on the river, and it had its own canoe dock for all the people who'd canoe into work every day!
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea is it the canals in Amsterdam that are sometimes covered in plants that make them look like solid ground instead of water?
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@0xabad1dea is it the canals in Amsterdam that are sometimes covered in plants that make them look like solid ground instead of water?
@beeoproblem that usually doesn't happen in central Amsterdam because the water needs to be pretty still to get that much growth. You're probably thinking of a specific canal in central Utrecht that does have this problem
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea
Common enough incident in Finland about folks drowning with their fly open that there's yearly jokes about it.
One of the more humiliating ways to go. -
@navi @gsuberland @jmopp @0xabad1dea I worked at a place a few miles outside Cambridge (England, UK) that was right on the river, and it had its own canoe dock for all the people who'd canoe into work every day!
@welshpixie In the Swiss cities of Bern and Thun people let the current of the river take them to work downstream in summer. You can see them in the streets in swimming gear and carrying a floating bag with their business clothing.
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@welshpixie In the Swiss cities of Bern and Thun people let the current of the river take them to work downstream in summer. You can see them in the streets in swimming gear and carrying a floating bag with their business clothing.
@altim @navi @gsuberland @jmopp @0xabad1dea My mum showed me that very recently, it looks amazing
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea
This is why it’s called “Man Overboard!”. Women seldom pee over the side.
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea We have a similar problem in Manchester, the fact that a lot of the bars are along canals doesn't help.
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea is this an ad to come to Amsterdam for the "attractions"?
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@jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi I once met a guy in London who kayaked to work across the Thames every morning. He had a flat in Canary Wharf (he was some sort of finance guy, unsurprisingly) and his office was on the other side of the river. There's a bridge just up the road so he could've walked, but one day he decided to try kayaking it for a laugh and realised it was a really fun way to commute, so just kept doing it.
the smaller of the lakes in Seattle m allows a bunch of these commutes quite sensibly, if you’re careful of the seaplane lanes
Paddleboard commute carrying your laptop for maximal style points
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@0xabad1dea is this an ad to come to Amsterdam for the "attractions"?
@jelu it's an ad to not turn up dead in my canal
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@welshpixie In the Swiss cities of Bern and Thun people let the current of the river take them to work downstream in summer. You can see them in the streets in swimming gear and carrying a floating bag with their business clothing.
@altim @welshpixie @navi @gsuberland @jmopp @0xabad1dea I think I’d enjoy that more in the other direction: when I’m done with work, just jump in the river and let the current take me home!
You could even have a little floating drink on a Friday, like people do in the Englischer Garten in Munich. -
Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea @adrianco OMG! I saw the drunk pissing fall into the water thing happen in Copenhagen… I was appalled… for everyone else, it was part of the evening’s goings on
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@0xabad1dea In the last decade gemeente amsterdam has removed so many plaskrul and replaced them with antihomeless benches and slippering stone slabs. Not to mention the push to condense the red light to a smaller area, thus increasing the tourist dying in canal.
"Plaskrul" is a rabbit hole that needs pointing out:
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@0xabad1dea I am genuinely curious about the "random foreigner tries to cross the street over uneven wet cobblestones, narrowly avoids a speeding bicycle, runs scared to avoid an incoming tram, slips on an slippery tramway rail and gets crushed by an Uber making a U-turn" rate.
@mbpaz @0xabad1dea surprisingly low because streets are designed for all types of traffic to interact (and therefore accidents happen at lower, less fatal speeds). As a cyclist I usually just go around these people just fine (though I will shout at them). Tram deaths are a thing though.
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange this is why we throw young children fully clothed into the pool and learn them to swim that way (no joke either)
@syn @0xabad1dea i do indeed literally remember having to also swim fully clothed to get my first swimming diploma -
@Pouakai @doboprobodyne this is such a mastodon typical back and forth
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@0xabad1dea Is it possible the assassins’ guild of Amsterdam has figured out how to avoid investigation by hitting the target over the head, unzipping his fly, and tossing him in the canal?
@NYSloth @0xabad1dea what is the watery equivalent of “inhume”?
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@jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi When I lived there I took rowing lessons at a public outfit at the Berlagebrug, I presume they’re still going. In winter with the short daylight hours you end up rowing through the canals at night, it’s utterly magical.
@tikitu @jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi i see teams from there regularly doing training sessions down the Weespertrekvart
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange Simply make every tourist wear a mandatory life-vest at all times 🧠
@ClaireH @0xabad1dea why stop there? Mandatory hamster ball for every tourist.
