Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea is this an ad to come to Amsterdam for the "attractions"?
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@jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi I once met a guy in London who kayaked to work across the Thames every morning. He had a flat in Canary Wharf (he was some sort of finance guy, unsurprisingly) and his office was on the other side of the river. There's a bridge just up the road so he could've walked, but one day he decided to try kayaking it for a laugh and realised it was a really fun way to commute, so just kept doing it.
the smaller of the lakes in Seattle m allows a bunch of these commutes quite sensibly, if you’re careful of the seaplane lanes
Paddleboard commute carrying your laptop for maximal style points
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@0xabad1dea is this an ad to come to Amsterdam for the "attractions"?
@jelu it's an ad to not turn up dead in my canal
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@welshpixie In the Swiss cities of Bern and Thun people let the current of the river take them to work downstream in summer. You can see them in the streets in swimming gear and carrying a floating bag with their business clothing.
@altim @welshpixie @navi @gsuberland @jmopp @0xabad1dea I think I’d enjoy that more in the other direction: when I’m done with work, just jump in the river and let the current take me home!
You could even have a little floating drink on a Friday, like people do in the Englischer Garten in Munich. -
Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea @adrianco OMG! I saw the drunk pissing fall into the water thing happen in Copenhagen… I was appalled… for everyone else, it was part of the evening’s goings on
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@0xabad1dea In the last decade gemeente amsterdam has removed so many plaskrul and replaced them with antihomeless benches and slippering stone slabs. Not to mention the push to condense the red light to a smaller area, thus increasing the tourist dying in canal.
"Plaskrul" is a rabbit hole that needs pointing out:
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@0xabad1dea I am genuinely curious about the "random foreigner tries to cross the street over uneven wet cobblestones, narrowly avoids a speeding bicycle, runs scared to avoid an incoming tram, slips on an slippery tramway rail and gets crushed by an Uber making a U-turn" rate.
@mbpaz @0xabad1dea surprisingly low because streets are designed for all types of traffic to interact (and therefore accidents happen at lower, less fatal speeds). As a cyclist I usually just go around these people just fine (though I will shout at them). Tram deaths are a thing though.
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange this is why we throw young children fully clothed into the pool and learn them to swim that way (no joke either)
@syn @0xabad1dea i do indeed literally remember having to also swim fully clothed to get my first swimming diploma -
@Pouakai @doboprobodyne this is such a mastodon typical back and forth
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@0xabad1dea Is it possible the assassins’ guild of Amsterdam has figured out how to avoid investigation by hitting the target over the head, unzipping his fly, and tossing him in the canal?
@NYSloth @0xabad1dea what is the watery equivalent of “inhume”?
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@jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi When I lived there I took rowing lessons at a public outfit at the Berlagebrug, I presume they’re still going. In winter with the short daylight hours you end up rowing through the canals at night, it’s utterly magical.
@tikitu @jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi i see teams from there regularly doing training sessions down the Weespertrekvart
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange Simply make every tourist wear a mandatory life-vest at all times 🧠
@ClaireH @0xabad1dea why stop there? Mandatory hamster ball for every tourist.
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea
Here in Denmark they paint the ladders out of the water orange and place a light over them - but I'm not aware of any statistics on how many drowned drunk men were found with their fly open.Maybe we have the wrong solution. I mean we can often learn from the Dutch, especially related to water.
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@ClaireH @0xabad1dea why stop there? Mandatory hamster ball for every tourist.
@Frantasaur@mastodon.ie @0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange As someone who lives in a tourist town, I heartily support this
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea Meanwhile England is only beginning to wake up to deaths by drowning because Brits don't understand that just because there's a body of water, it's not necessarily safe to swim in when you're boiling your skin off in yet another heatwave.
Especially if you don't actually know how to swim.
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange Simply make every tourist wear a mandatory life-vest at all times 🧠
@ClaireH@blahaj.zone @0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange post sponsored by Big Lifevest
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea rest of the Netherlands feels like always half an hour walk to the nearest one
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange this is why we throw young children fully clothed into the pool and learn them to swim that way (no joke either)
@syn @0xabad1dea I've heard from probably multiple people that they never learnt because this was their first experience with water and they ended up too traumatized by it to ever learn...
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea Meanwhile, in Ireland after a rise in injuries and deaths involving e-scooters (most, it seems, involving other vehicles, though that doesn't seem to be reported as much), the establishment seems to have decided that they need harsher laws against e-scooter, e-bike users and cyclists in general.
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea https://speld.nl/2012/02/24/plassen-in-de-gracht-doe-het-doordacht/ And a course on how to piss in the canals safely!
