I donated blood last week and just received this extremely cursed image in a follow-up email.

[alesandroortiz@infosec.exchange]

@jabronus Dear Noah,

Your blood has been stolen in a security breach. Please read this entire notice carefully as it provides important information.

WHERE DID MY BLOOD GO?

We are in the early stages of investigation, but preliminarily it was stolen from an unlocked van, possibly in a wooded area as shown in the photo we received in the ransom note asking for more blood.

IS THE BLOOD IN MY BODY AT RISK?

Not immediately, but we have reason to believe the suspect is also a serial killer. They were last seen in a wooded area possibly collecting blood from an unknown source [be vague when sending out notice; do not mention the bodies]. Therefore, your remaining blood may still be at risk.

HOW CAN I KEEP MY BLOOD SAFE IN THE FUTURE?

Don't share needles, don't leave blood samples unattended, lock your doors, and run background checks on people who collect your blood.

[crowbriarhexe@tech.lgbt]

@jabronus Dude, Where’s My Blood?

[s_d_brath@mastodon.social]

@paculino @jabronus I think the door is open and that is his not-at-all-suspicious trenchcoat you can see hanging there.

[melissabeartrix@gives.hugz.online]

@jabronus

Is that a picture of you delivering your blood ? ... Giggles

Hugz & xXx

[backfromthedud@mas.to]

@jabronus It looks like a still from "Breaking Bad"!

[tooth@fairy.id]

@jabronus they really need a PR or Marketing team.

[helpstertee@social.helpsterte.eu]

@jabronus@mastodon.design 🧛‍️

[anarchic_teapot@oc.todon.fr]

@jabronus Let me guess: a band composed entirely of vampires has covered an old Supremes hit and this is the cover art.

[sarah@sosial.link]

@jabronus@mastodon.design

Don't book a flight anytime soon, would suck if you went to Miami while the airfare company sent your blood to France or something.

I've seen it happen to luggage.

[transitionalaspect@fnordon.de]

@jabronus I guess they want to make sure you never donate again?

[hackerman@mastodon.xyz]

@jabronus

[surdfish@beige.party]

@jabronus

Isn't that a Supremes song?

[bfordham@infosec.exchange]

@jabronus i immediately heard a very different version of The Supremes:

Baby, baby,
Where did our blood go?

[arcadiagt5@mstdn.social]

@jabronus I am, alas, banned from donating blood in #Oz on account of having had a teeny tiny #TransientIschaemicAttack back on 1 September 2023, and despite having a letter from a GP saying that I’m stable and medically fit to give blood.

[bougiewonderland@freeradical.zone]

@jabronus I know what you did with my blood

[eri@mk.moth.zone]

@jabronus@mastodon.design i eated it

[baralheia@dragonchat.org]

@jabronus My blood! H-he punched out all my blood!

[colingourlay@bne.social]

@jabronus thank you for the fit of giggles I’m currently experiencing

[bryan@dusty.ninja]

@jabronus probably just a weird vampire…

[seadonut@tech.lgbt]

@jabronus
reminds me of a comedy skit i saw
“i never donating blood again! ever! the very second you walk in the door, just question after question ‘where’d you get it? why’s it in a bucket?’ do ya fuckin want it or don’t ya?!”